I grew up in a hard-working family, none religious. At the age of 18, I learned that the Father I'd known all my life was not, in fact, my biological Father. This new-found fact destabilized the identity I had become accustomed to. The idea of who I was came under question. I was left asking, who am I. What then followed was ten years of drinking. At 27 I found myself in recovery from alcoholism. I spent three and a half years examining all the aspects of self-identified traits in order to find an honesty that would propel me into a more productive direction. After three and a half years I came to see that all willful attempts at modifying the self still remained within the paradigm of self-will. I had not transcended into honesty. It was at this point in a room one evening in 99 that I handed all attachment to the mind for any orientation to ongoing recovery. In doing so, not knowing what lay beyond, there was to be a complete self-realization.

Book: Walking Awake

Website: invitationtobeing.org

Transcript of this interview

Interview recorded 11/21/2015

YouTube Video Chapters:

00:00:00 - Introduction and Background

00:04:19 - Past Lives and Memories

00:08:33 - Family Background and Drinking Habits

00:11:51 - Identity Crisis and the Impact of Discovering the Truth

00:16:01 - Experimenting with Reality and Alcohol Addiction

00:19:42 - Escaping into Art and Self-Destruction

00:23:43 - A Turning Point in Recovery

00:27:38 - The Powerlessness of Alcoholism

00:32:08 - Impact of a Simple Sentence

00:36:36 - Walking Away from the Fellowship

00:40:39 - The Search for Authenticity

00:45:29 - Surrendering the Mind to a Higher Power

00:50:21 - Letting go of the Mind

00:55:11 - The Opening of the Heart and the Dark Void

01:00:24 - Relating from Absolute and the Heart

01:05:29 - Realization and Appreciation of Spiritual Texts

01:09:14 - The Dissipation of the Body of Illusion

01:13:44 - Living in relation to Absolute

01:18:07 - Dissociation and Formlessness

01:21:52 - The Uncommon Language of Self-Realization

01:25:53 - From Therapy to Awakening

01:30:12 - The Integration of Self-realization and Mind Experience

01:35:24 - The Direct Experience of Consciousness

01:39:48 - Union with the Absolute

01:44:15 - Attunement and Entrainment in Silence

01:48:38 - Awakening to the Absolute

01:52:20 - The Play of I Am-ness and Curiosity

01:56:36 - The Blossoming of Curiosity and Direct Experience

02:01:11 - Spiritual Realization and Relationships

02:05:42 - The Breaking Point for Addicts and Alcoholics

02:09:30 - Conclusion and Farewell