Thanks for joining us for this episode of the Love How Deep podcast!

Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, but how you handle them can make or break your connection. Brian and Heather share practical, biblically-based rules for effective communication during disagreements, emphasizing respect, understanding, and a focus on solutions rather than blame. They also address the importance of safety and provide a free resource to help couples improve their communication.

Key Talking Points:

• Disagreements are Normal:
  • It's natural and normal to have disagreements in a relationship.
  • Acknowledging this normalcy can reduce stress and anxiety during conflicts.
• Biblical Foundation:
  • Ephesians 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." 1 1. www.forkunion.com www.forkunion.com
  • The goal is to build each other up, even during disagreements.
• Safety First:
  • Physical and emotional safety are paramount.
  • If abuse is present, seek help immediately. Communication cannot be effective in an abusive environment.
• Practical Communication Rules:
  • Speak with Respect:
    • Treat your spouse with the same respect you show others.
    • Attack the problem, not the person.
    • Remain fully present during conversations.
  • Stick to the Issue:
    • Avoid bringing up past grievances or unrelated problems.
    • Focus on resolving the current conflict.
  • Own Your Feelings:
    • Use "I" statements to express your emotions.
    • Avoid blaming your spouse for your feelings.
  • Listen Actively:
    • Pay attention to what your spouse is saying.
    • Repeat and clarify to ensure understanding.
    • Avoid forming your rebuttal before your spouse has finished speaking.
  • Keep Your Voice Calm:
    • Avoid raising your voice or yelling.
    • Maintain an even tone to prevent escalation.
  • Avoid the Blame Game:
    • Focus on finding solutions, not assigning blame.
    • Acknowledge that both parties may have contributed to the issue.
  • Avoid "You Always" or "You Never" Statements:
    • These absolutes are rarely accurate and can lead to defensiveness.
    • Focus on specific behaviors rather than character attacks.
  • Stay Engaged:
    • Avoid shutting down or withdrawing from the conversation.
  • Take a Break:
    • If needed, calmly request a break to cool down.
    • Set a time to return to the conversation.
    • The person who calls for the break, should be the one to reinitiate the conversation.
  • Reflect Before Reacting:
    • Take time to understand your own emotions.
  • Remember the Goal:
    • Focus on strengthening your relationship and finding solutions together.
    • Remember that you are on the same team.
• Strengthening Through Conflict:
  • Handling disagreements effectively can strengthen your marriage.
  • Each resolved conflict builds resilience and deeper connection.
• Actionable Steps:
  • Listen to the episode together.
  • Jot down the communication tips.
  • Choose one tip to focus on improving.
  • Have a conversation about what you both can do better.
• Free Resource:
  • "10 Practical Steps for Communication" guide.
  • Link in the show notes.

Call to Action:

• Like, follow, and subscribe to the Love How Deep podcast.
• Download the free communication guide below
• Start implementing these communication rules in your marriage.

Links:

• Link to "10 Practical Steps for Communication"