68. A New Take on 'The Mummy Wars’

10.12.2021 - By The Good Enough Mother

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What have we been led to believe about the ‘mummy wars’ and how do they relate to patriarchal motherhood and ‘the perfect mother myth’?

These are the questions I address in this episode of the podcast, where I offer a new lens through which to understand ‘mummy wars’. This is with an intention of helping you develop an ‘antenna’ as a cultural assessor, where you can pick up, observe, get curious about, and assess instances where you see the ‘mummy wars’ either playing out OR being referred to.

I describe the mummy wars as both a symptom of AND a product of patriarchal Motherhood – creating environments where we come to judge ourselves and each other.

The sense of ‘competition’ that is spoken about in motherhood is also a reflection of the social narratives around competition and comparison between women – and mothers especially. I suggest that this priming into focusing on other mothers (and judging ourselves) is part of what dilutes our power and potential for changing the broader culture and systems that impact Mothers.

I explain how and why the ‘mummy wars’ can only be sustained and produced if ‘boxes’ and categories of ‘types of mothers’ exist. Sometimes labels can be helpful tools to allow us to find a sense of belonging within community, and build identity. But sometimes the very tools we draw on to build our sense of identity and connection within motherhood, can shift into constraining limits.

A deconstruction of the ‘mummy wars’ actually means reconstructing what it means to be a mother in our society and culture and reclaiming the fluidity and ever-changing nature of our identity.


I refer to my concepts of The Fish-Tank of Motherhood Model©, The Good Mother Bad Mother Binary© and The Care/Career Conundrum©

Find graphics and information on all of these here: https://drsophiebrock.com/conceptualmodels

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