My guest this week is John Kim. He’s a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of the the pioneers of the online life coaching movement.
Interestingly, he calls himself the “Angry Therapist.” It’s essentially an admission that, while he was a licensed therapist and life coach, he was no better off than the people he was helping — and admission that probably made him a more empathetic therapist.  
More to the point of our conversation, John is the author of a new book called, I USED TO BE A MISERABLE F*CK: An Everyman’s Guide to a Meaningful Life which we dug right into. 
John lays out 66 Dos and Don’ts in the book, some of which are listed below. The ones in bold we actually had time to talk about, and you can see exactly where in the conversation those came up. 
John was a lot of fun to talk to. So, please click play above and give enjoy the dialogue. But, be warned, I will fully pronounce the title of his book several times. 

An Angry Therapist’s Guide to a Meaningful Life

Tell a young person what to do – play fair, be yourself, stick to the task at hand – and most will tune you out. But show them how choices and consequences play out in the real world, and the impact will be far more effective and long lasting. Based on interviews with over 100 people from around the world and from all walks of life as they reflect on their most profound and unexpected moments of clarity about who they are and how they should treat others. The lessons help teach 23 powerful character traits that will help your child grow into the adult you’ll be proud to call your own.  Character Traits include: ambition, open-mindedness, creativity, curiosity & learning, courage, integrity, self-reliance, grit, hard work, self-confidence, money & delayed gratification, health, positive mental attitude, dealing with loss, kindness, patience, fairness & justice, humility, respect for others, friendship, social intelligence, forgiveness & gratitude, appreciation of beauty.

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I pushed my way through these kids, and ran over to the ambulance. In the back of the ambulance was my son, Jordan. He was partially conscious and covered in blood. . .  The paramedic said he had internal bleeding and had to go to the hospital immediately. . . I jumped out of the ambulance and started asking, ‘What happened? What happened? What happened?’



Jordan Peisner after attack. December, 2016. KABC-TV. 







“And that’s when some of the kids ran up to me and said, ‘Look!’ And they showed me a video. It was of my son talking to a friend. And from behind comes this boy, who swings with all his might at my son’s head, and knocks him out. The sound still gives me chills. And down he goes, to the ground. And then you see kids running over — as my son is on the ground, eyes rolled back, and bleeding — and these kids are jockeying for position to take pictures.”



Those are the words of Ed Peisner as he describes what happened to his 14-year-old son Jordan in December of 2016. In what was probably a game of “knockout”, the assailant had planned the attack with accomplices at the ready with cell phone cameras to videotape the shocking event all to generate likes and shares on social media.



And while the attack was obviously criminal, the social media profiteering from it was not. Ed realized that unless someone figured out a way to remove the social media incentive, these horrific acts would continue. And so he did. Ed founded the Organization for Social Media Safety. And together with Marc Berkman, they began lobbying for legal reform.



In one of their first victories, what’s now known as “Jordan’s Law” was passed in the State of California — the first law targeting social-media motivated violence. That law states that if you coordinate with someone to video tape their violent attack and post it on social media that you will be prosecuted as a accomplice.



But in the process of advocating for Jordan’s Law, they learned of a rapidly expanding list of social media-related dangers, like cyberbullying, hate speech, and sexual harassment, which their organization now battles.



Click play above to listen to our conversation and learn how you can protect your own children and help be a part of the solution for others. At the 17-minute mark, Ed and Marc discuss 3 things parents can do right now to protect their kids. Have a listen.



Find out more at https://www.ofsms.org/. And here’s a link to their free safety course: https://courses.ofsms.org/courses/the-buckling-the-social-media-seatbelt-supercourse



Click these links to subscribe to this podcast on iTunes or Stitcher, or Podbean.







Paul Smith is one of the world’s leading experts on business storytelling,

Father Behind “Jordan’s Law” Speaks Out






Imagine you’re driving home from work one night around 8 pm. It’s cold. It’s raining. And there’s a dirty, slushy, melting snow on the ground. You glance out the car window and you see a young girl huddled up on the side of the road. She looks cold, scared, alone, and injured.



You pull over and invite her into your warm car, and take her to a diner for a meal.



She doesn’t speak to you the entire time. She just sits there, staring down into her plate while eating, dripping gray water all over the seat. Your mind races though all of the unthinkable possibilities for what might have lead her to this place in life.



When she finishes eating, still not having said a word, she peels herself off of the plastic seat, gets up, and heads toward the exit. You watch as her frail little back walks away from you. In two more seconds, she’ll be through the door and gone from your life forever.



At that moment, what do you do?



Emily Chang doesn’t have to imagine. She knows. Because this happened to her. At that moment what she decided to do was yell out, 



“Where are you going to sleep tonight”?



The girl stopped. Her shoulders quivered a bit. And Emily continued, “I have a spare room.”



That girl became the first of sixteen people over the last 25 years to have been blessed to spend some of the darkest times of their lives in the respite of Emily Chang’s spare room.



An abused child bride. An unwanted boy with hydrocephalus. A girl raised in a brothel. And over a dozen other young people whose lives were changed for the better in Emily’s spare room.







Emily documents their stories in her new book, The Spare Room: Define Your Social Legacy to Live a More Intentional Life and Lead with Authentic Purpose. In the book, she not only shares their unforgettable stories, but the life and leadership lessons we can all learn from them.



In this episode, Emily describes one of those young people lucky enough to spend some time in Emily’s spare room. Click the play button above to hear the story of Devon, a child bride thrown out of her own home.



Emily Chang has worked in leadership positions at Procter & Gamble, Apple, and Starbucks. Today she serves as the CEO of China for the global advertising giant, McCann. You can find Emily at https://social-legacy.com/.



Click these links to subscribe to this podcast on iTunes or Stitcher, or Podbean.







Paul Smith is one of the world’s leading experts on business storytelling, a keynote speaker, and bestselling author.  



Connect with him via email here.

The Spare Room

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An Angry Therapist’s Guide to a Meaningful Life

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