36. Anger in Motherhood

The imagery of the ‘perfect mother’ is almost the antithesis of the ‘angry mother’. Yet anger is commonly experienced in motherhood, particularly within a modern, western culture of intensified motherhood that places such high expectations on the ways that mothers should behave, feel, act, and live. Because of this, feeling anger when you’re a mother can provoke guilt, stigma, isolation, shame, and have you feeling like you’re not a ‘good enough’ mother. This episode offers insight into the experience of anger in motherhood, where anger comes from, what happens when we’re triggered, and the RULER approach for responding to our anger. I speak about the cultural roots of anger, common responses to anger in motherhood, and encourage us to get curious about our anger. If we framed anger as information, what could it be telling us about our life and our growth? What if we understood feeling maternal anger – and knowing how to channel, process, and respond to these feelings constructively – as actually necessary for both us, and our children? I share some perhaps surprising features of anger, and hope to shift the shame, stigma, guilt and isolation associated with maternal anger, through offering an alternative narrative in considering how our anger can be a constructive and transformational force.

*Please note that in some cases, anger can be a red flag for maternal mood disorders. If you feel anger has become an unhealthy, recurring, or destructive feature in your life, please reach out to your GP or email me info@drsophiebrock so I can connect you with support.