“Sure, I can work late tonight." “Yeah, you can crash at my place.” “I can babysit, no problem.” “I can lend you some money.”
These are things a people pleaser might say. People pleasers take on too much and don't know when to say "no". Their desire to please others and be seen as important and helpful can lead to overwhelm and resentment.
Today, I talk about why people have a have time saying No and some ways to stop being a pushover.
Other resources on being a people pleaser:

How to stop being a people pleaser from Oprah.com
Dr. Elaine Aron on sensitivity to criticism

Do you like the show?
If you enjoy my podcast and blog, if you find it helpful, uplifting, or entertaining, would you consider giving just $1 per episode? Check out my Patreon page to see how it works. 
Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 

45. Are you a People Pleaser

Do you experience joy, discomfort, empathy, and emotions very intensely? Are you easily overstimulated or bothered by small changes in your environment? 

You aren’t alone, in fact, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). In this podcast, host, blogger, (and HSP herself) Kelly shares real-life experiences that may have you nodding and thinking: “I thought I was the only one who felt that way”!

Introverts and people with shyness and social anxiety may also find comfort and camaraderie here. Remember--you aren’t crazy or weird…just highly sensitive!

Social Sciences

Science & Medicine

Science

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

It’s been a while since there was a new podcast episode! In this episode, I give a brief update on what’s going on with the show!

Ep. 74: Podcast Update!

A while ago, I received a listener request to do an episode about dealing with people staying at your house--houseguests. Here it is!

73. Dealing with houseguests

When I started this podcast, my #1 dream guest was Susan Cain. So, I'm very happy to bring this episode to you today. Susan's 2012 book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking was my first introduction to introversion. The book changed my life (and thousands of others worldwide) because it changed how I saw myself. It was through learning about introversion that I learned about high sensitivity; I wouldn't be typing this to you today without her book as the inception. More about Susan Cain: Susan is the co-founder of Quiet Revolution, a site that features advice and stories for introverts and extroverts alike on how to appreciate our quiet sides. She is the author of the bestsellers Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts, and Quiet: The Power of Introverts in A World That Can’t Stop Talking, which has been translated into 40 languages and been on the New York Times bestseller list for over four years. Her record-smashing TED talk has been viewed over 15 million times. She is an honors graduate of Princeton and Harvard Law School. Some of the topics covered in this episode include:  What it was like to be a Wall Street lawyer and an introvert If she's an HSP How Susan dealt with the huge popularity of her book and TED talk The difference between HSPs and introverts Her Quiet Leadership Institute The introvert backlash ....and more.  Susan's books:  Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking  Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts (A guide for teens and kids)  You can also find her on Twitter. Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 

72. Interview with Susan Cain, author of Quiet

Today's episode features Andy Mort of the Gentle Rebel podcast (formerly known as the Sheep Dressed like Wolves podcast). We talk about what it's like to be a Highly Sensitive Person and a podcaster. (He interviewed me on his show recently, too: listen here!) Some of the topics covered in this episode include: receiving negative feedback, making money, and tips for people who want to start their own show. You can get in touch with Andy on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and find his music here. Looking for a Community for HSPs? Join The Haven! As mentioned in this episode, Andy's HSP community, The Haven, is open for registration from Nov. 4-10, 2016. The Haven is a private membership site completely dedicated to HSPs. There's two years of great content available--like high-quality videos, interviews, collaborative projects, and blog posts--which have been created specifically to help support, encourage, and inspire HSPs in a range of areas, and Andy's always coming out with new content, too. My favorite part might be the safe and supportive Facebook community that's exclusive to members. There is no obligation or commitment. It's just $1 to try it out for the first month and you can cancel anytime, so there's really no reason not to give it a try and see if it's for you! Learn more about The Haven at highlysensitiveperson.net/haven.   Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 

71. The Highly Sensitive Podcaster with Andy Mort

Recently someone posted this question in the introvert subreddit on reddit: "How to deal with half wanting new friends and half wanting to be a hermit?"   I hear and read questions like this all the time from introverts and introverted HSPs. We cherish being alone, and then sometimes wonder if we can get along without worrying about having relationships. After all, relationships are time consuming, difficult, and can be painful.   But then we often realize that we cannot exist alone. It might seem easier to avoid relationships, but it is bad for our mental and physical health. Humans were built to need and thrive on connection with others.   A Vice.com interview with Amy Banks, PhD, titled, "An Expert Explains Why You Feel So Lonely All the Time" really piqued my interest in this topic. I loved Dr. Banks' scientific explanation of why having quality relationships is so important.   Dr. Banks was an instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and is now the Director of Advanced Training at Jean Baker Miller Training Institute at the Wellesley Centers for Women. Her newest book is called Wired to Connect: The Surprising Link Between Brain Science and Strong, Healthy Relationships. On this episode, we talk about:  The health impact of loneliness and disconnection Why American society values the "do-it-alone" mindset so strongly The dopamine reward system and relationships Online bullying How a boss or manager can use good relationships to improve the workplace Connections with animals And....communism?!? (Note: communism is discussed simply for the concept of community vs. individualism. We are not saying we want to live in a communist society!)  Amy recommends that those looking to improve their relationships first take her free Relational Assessment. You can get in touch with Amy on Twitter, Facebook, and check out her column on Psychology Today: Wired to Love Other books recommended by Dr. Banks in this episode:  Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community by Robert Putnam Love and Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy and Health by Dean Ornish    Want to support the podcast? If you enjoy my podcast and blog, if you find it helpful, uplifting, or entertaining, that's awesome! Would you consider giving just $1 per episode? Check out my Patreon page to see how it works. A special thank you to Gloria, the newest supporter! Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 

45. Are you a People Pleaser

Download our free app to listen on your phone