Assisting vs. Helping Clients

Let me tell you a little story about helping, assisting, dependency, and interdependency. I had just completed a teleseminar in 2004, while my one-year-old daughter took a bath. This evening, it was my responsibility to dry her off and put her in bed. When she saw me coming in to get her, she reached up her arms as if asking me to help her out of the tub. I might have been overthinking things, but I decided that this was an opportunity to assist rather than help her. Instead of lifting her out, I offered her a hand to help her out of the bathtub. She banged her knee as she got out, then the heel of her other foot, and started wailing as if she was badly hurt. Two days later, we repeated the same process. She put up her arms, I offered one hand, and she got out without banging her knee. She did, however, slightly hit the heel of her other foot again as she stepped out. And again, she started wailing as if she was in agony. Two days after that, we tried again. And this time, she knew what was coming. She took my offered hand and very carefully got out of the tub without banging her knee or heel, and without any tears or wails. This is an example of assisting someone; she became interdependent on me. If I had helped her by just lifting her out of the tub, she would have become dependent on me. Being interdependent and dependent are two of the four -pendencies that I like to talk about. (The other two are codependency and independency.) In today’s episode, you’ll learn all about those four, and why interdependence is so valuable in relationships. You’ll also learn about three key insights, which you may already be starting to understand: Why knowing the distinction between helping and assisting clients makes all the difference. Why client support is all about assisting (not helping) and ruthless compassion. Why you only want inter-dependent clients for a lifetime. Don’t miss this episode, which I hope will give you a new perspective on your relationships with your clients! In This Episode: [03:31] - We learn about the three key insights that Alex will cover over the course of today’s episode. [05:04] - Alex shares the story of assisting (not helping) his young daughter to get out of the bathtub. [08:31] - The third time Alex assisted his daughter to get out of the tub (rather than helping), she knew what was coming. [09:38] - We learn about the difference between helping and assisting clients. [10:31] - Alex defines his four -pendencies: dependency, codependency, independency, and interdependency. [12:47] - We learn about transactional versus relational relationships with clients. [13:55] - How does all of this translate into client support? [14:53] - Here’s today’s Alexism: “Caring is the ultimate competitive advantage in starting and maintaining any business today.” [16:04] - Alex reviews the insights that he has talked about in today’s episode of All Selling Aside. [17:41] - Speaking of reviews, please leave a review for this podcast! But do it in a specific format: write down your biggest takeaway from this episode as your review at this link. [18:48] - Alex gives listeners a gift in honor of episode 54 of the podcast. To get free access to his four-part video e-training course (normally $197), go to this link! Links and Resources: Alex Mandossian Alex Mandossian Fan on Facebook Alex’s Friday Live events MarketingOnline.com Marketing Online 4-Part Video Training Series Alex Mandossian on YouTube Alexisms by Alex Mandossian All Selling Aside on iTunes Alex Mandossian’s free live Friday show Joe Polish Dan Sullivan Marketing Online Support (Facebook group)