#2169



There’s nothing more destructive to your relationship with your child than constant lecturing.



Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.



Whenever conflict occurs, if your knee-jerk reaction is to lecture, you’re communicating that you don’t think your teen can think for himself. And if you condemn him for his mistakes, you’re actually reinforcing that you don’t really respect him.



That’s not your intent …but it’s what your child is hearing.



So what can be done? Well, stop lecturing and start listening. In fact, start today! Right now, even. Try it for a day. Don’t flip out, argue or lecture. Button up your lips. Just let it go. It’ll take a lot of discipline on your part, but you may discover it’s just what your teen needs.



Then watch what happens. Before long …your teen will return the favor and start listening to you.

Avoid the Lecture

Parenting Today's Teens With Mark Gregston

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#2185



Sometimes a healthy pursuit can have unhealthy manifestations. Like trying to belong and fit in.



Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.



When your teen seeks personal validation from peers… this isn’t inherently bad. It may look like rebellion to you. It may lead to inappropriate behaviors. And some strange choices in clothing and music at times. But in reality, your teen is just a little off track.



So …how do you steer a kid that’s headed in the wrong direction?



Well, let your child’s choices teach him the truth. If he looks like a dork, he sounds like an idiot, he acts like a jerk… eventually… he can’t continue in that direction without facing deeper trouble.



Let him face those consequences without rescuing him. That’ll do more to change his future behavior than anything you can ever say. Failure is an irreplaceable education for living in the real world!

A Little Off Track

#575 – Student Story: Alexa



Ever wonder why your son or daughter hangs around with a questionable group of friends? 



Are you worried that your teen is being dragged down by his peers? 



This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston helps parents make sense of their child’s choice of friends and protect their teen from choosing the wrong crowd.

WEEKEND: What If Your Teen’s Friends Are Bad News?

#2184



I work with troubled kids. Teens who’ve lost their way. And their parents often ask me what to do when their teen is arrested.



Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.



Well… I believe in allowing a child to own the consequences of his behavior. I believe it’s best to not bail a kid out right away… especially if he truly deserved being arrested in the first place.



It’s a tough decision, but letting your child sit for a day or two in jail may be the lesson that’s needed. And correction at a younger age is far better than imprisonment for a lifetime as an adult.



Think about it. Jail time might just speak to your son or daughter louder than you ever could! It’ll bring a sobering sense of reality to the choices… and consequences!

Jail Time

#2183



When you have an older teen spinning out of control and not responding to your discipline… it may mean you have a very important choice before you. You can let that teen stay at home and wreak havoc in the household. Or… you can ask him to leave.



Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.



It’s a difficult decision. But parents shouldn’t allow one out- of- control teen to destroy the good things going for the rest of the family. Sometimes the best option for an older teen is to release them. Let them go.



And as parents, we should pray for their growth and development in the world… in ways they weren’t grasping at home.



Scary. Yes. But sometimes a child won’t listen to our advice …until he gets to the end of himself.

Leaving Home

#2182



At Heartlight… our residential counseling center for troubled teens… one of my jobs is to repair the horse fences. I need to ensure that the boundaries are strong.



Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.



These sensitive… and sometimes stubborn… creatures need to know where they can go, and where they can’t. If a horse breaks any part of a fence, I fix it. When they constantly push on the fence to the point it becomes weak… I reinforce it with stronger wood.



Well, personal boundaries are like good fences… they offer protection and help define what’s good.



Establishing …and constantly reinforcing… strong boundaries with your teen will insure that even if they push their limits, they won’t get lost, or tread into unknown and dangerous territory.



So mom … dad … keep buildin’ and protecting those fences! Some day …your kids will thank you.

Good Fences

Parenting Today’s Teens

Avoid the Lecture

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