Welcome back to the podcast! We’ve all heard them. Little phrases that sound wise, comforting, or even spiritual—but they’re not true. In this series, we’ll uncover some of the most common believable lies people buy into about God, life, and faith.

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Believable Lies: Loving Means Affirming

Our culture has embraced a powerful but dangerous idea — that real love means total affirmation. We’re told that if we truly love someone, we must agree with everything they believe, approve of every lifestyle choice they make, and celebrate every identity they claim. To do anything less, we’re told, is hateful or judgmental. But when we look at the life of Jesus, we find a radically different picture of love. His love was never about blind affirmation — it was about truth and transformation.

Jesus Shows a Third Way

In John 8:1–11 (NLT), the religious leaders dragged before Jesus a woman caught in adultery. They demanded a verdict:

“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?” (v. 4–5)

The crowd waited, silent and tense. Would Jesus condemn her or affirm her? Those seemed like the only two options. But Jesus revealed a third way — a love that was both truthful and gracious.

When the accusers persisted, Jesus replied:

“All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” (v. 7)

One by one, the accusers slipped away until only Jesus and the woman remained. Then He said:

“Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” (v. 11)

Jesus didn’t excuse her sin, but He didn’t crush her either. He forgave her and called her to a new life. That’s what real love does — it offers mercy and transformation side by side.

Our world says: If you love me, affirm me.

Jesus says: If I love you, I’ll free you.

God’s Love Is Faithful, Not Affirming

From the very beginning, God’s love has been faithful — but never permissive. In the Old Testament, God loved His people Israel deeply, yet He never affirmed their rebellion or idolatry. His love led Him to correct them, discipline them, and restore them.

In Jeremiah 31:3–4 (NLT), God tells His people:

“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.
I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel.”

What’s remarkable about this passage is when God said it — right before Israel faced exile and destruction for their sin. Even as judgment approached, God promised His love would remain. His discipline was not the absence of love, but its expression. Like a good parent, He cared too much to let His children destroy themselves.

Proverbs 13:24 (NLT) says:

“Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.
Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.”

True love doesn’t affirm destructive choices. It steps in to correct and rebuild. God’s love was faithful enough to discipline, patient enough to rebuild, and strong enough to keep His promises.

That’s not the kind of love our culture celebrates — but it’s the kind that saves us.

God’s Love for Us Is Sacrificial, Not Sentimental

Many modern songs and slogans present love as soft, sentimental, and affirming. But God’s love is much deeper. It’s not sentimental — it’s sacrificial.

Romans 5:8 (NLT) says:

“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”

God didn’t wait for us to clean ourselves up before He loved us. His love met us in our brokenness — but it didn’t leave us there. Jesus didn’t come to tell us that everything about us was fine. He came to set us free from sin.

When Jesus touched the leper in Mark 1, He didn’t leave him in his unclean condition. He healed him. His touch was compassionate, but it was also transforming. That’s how Jesus loves us.

John 15:13 (NLT) reminds us:

“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Jesus didn’t affirm our sin — He died to overcome it. His love tells us the truth, even when it hurts.

When Peter tried to stop Jesus from going to the cross, Jesus rebuked him:

“Get away from me, Satan! You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.” (Mark 8:33 NLT)

That’s not affirming language. It’s the tough love of a Savior who sees what’s at stake.

Our Love Should Be Humble and Bold

If God’s love is faithful and sacrificial, then our love should be the same. We are called to love others enough to tell them the truth — not harshly, but humbly.

Galatians 6:1 (NLT) says:

“Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path.”

True love doesn’t look the other way when someone is headed for destruction. It gently restores. It speaks truth with grace.

Jesus calls us to love others in a way that mirrors His — not with passive approval, but with courageous compassion.

Matthew 28:19–20 (NLT) gives us the mission:

“Go and make disciples of all the nations... Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you.”

Making disciples isn’t about affirming people where they are. It’s about helping them obey Jesus and become more like Him. That means real change — and real love.

The Third Way of Jesus

At the end of John 8, Jesus shows us what love looks like in action. He doesn’t say, “I affirm you.” He says, “I forgive you. Go and sin no more.”

That’s the third way — the way of truth and grace. The way that refuses both cruelty and compromise.

Jesus’ love doesn’t ignore sin; it overcomes it. It doesn’t celebrate brokenness; it heals it. It doesn’t tell us we’re fine as we are; it makes us new.

The world says: Love me by affirming me.

Jesus says: I love you — now let me change you.

That’s the kind of love that changes hearts, families, and eternities.