I hope you’re enjoying summer and hopefully getting a little extra time with your kids!   The next few weeks we’re going to be sharing some of the “best of” Pardon the Mess interviews. Hard to believe we’ve released over THREE HUNDRED episodes! With so many new people joining along the way, we want to be sure you didn’t miss some of our favorite interviews.    Today we’re re-releasing our conversation with licensed psychologist Ken Wilgus, and he is talking with us about parenting teens.    If you don’t have a teen yet, no worries, because you can never prepare too early for navigating the treacherous waters of adolescence (just kidding—kind of).   Dr. Wilgus shares his ideas behind “planned emancipation,” the strategy of preparing our kids for adulthood by carefully and progressively letting go of our control in key areas of their lives.   We talk about this in the context of giving freedom in the music they listen to, the friends they pick, and even the state in which they keep their rooms.   Glad you’re with us today!   In this with you,    Cynthia Yanof | Pardon the Mess    Resources from today’s show:    Feeding the Mouth that Bites You book    Feed the Mouth that Bites You podcast    Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters Every Home for Christ

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“Best of” with Ken Wilgus talking about parenting teens

As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Kids & Family

Parenting

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” —1 Peter 4:10   As we wrap up the greatest commandment, we’re focused on how to love God with all of our strength. Contrary to how it sounds, loving God with all of our strength is not a reference to our physical strength. The Hebrew word used for strength in the context of the greatest commandment is me’od, which is translated as “much” or “very.” Loving God with all of our strength is loving God with our “much-ness.” It’s using our possessions, our time, our talents, our parenting, our volunteering—everything we’ve got—to love God and live for him. Said differently, wherever the Lord has planted you and with whatever resources he’s provided, use all your strength to love him smack-dab in the middle of it all. As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their strength, we’re praying that they use all of their party-planning skills, math aptitude, athleticism, and social media acumen for God’s greatest glory. It’s taking the seemingly small places in their life and asking the Lord to use it in every possible way for his bigger purposes. Spend time this week asking the Lord to use your kids’ gifts to bring God glory. Pray that he uses them for his greater purposes right where he has them, teaching them to love the Lord with all of their much-ness and strength. Lord, thank you for all the gifts and talents you’ve given our family. I pray that you will guide my children to use these gifts generously for your glory. With all of the much-ness you’ve given [name], remind them to serve those around them as they learn to love you with all of their strength.    God’s word speaks: Hebrews 13:16; Proverbs 11:24–25; Deuteronomy 16:17; Colossians 3:23

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BONUS: Marked by our Strength

Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp. 
 It’s not often you get to interview a college kid about growing up as a Christian. The Stites are family friends of ours and a family we admire and respect so very much. I am often asking them for advice since they are ahead of the game by a few years.  
 Today’s episode is a chat with their son, Campbell, who is studying political science at Texas A&M; University. He has always been a leader and I have absolutely loved watching God grow his faith during his first year in college. He’s making some wise choices that we can all learn from. 
 My favorite part of the episode is when he encourages parents to get interested in their child's interests. He shares about how his mom invested in his interests and helped foster a super close mom/son relationship.  
 In this episode we discuss:How to make faith a priority in collegeThe power of friends and your circleHow to let boys have freedom vs controlling themThe gift of allowing your teens to fail
 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo 
 Resources from today’s show: 
 Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide 
 Pardon the Mess is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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How can our kids keep their faith in college? with Campbell Stites

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” —2 Corinthians 10:5   As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their minds, we have to consider that our mind is made up of our thoughts. So, in order to love God with all of our minds, we have to think about what fills our minds and how it impacts the way we love God. Our thoughts are significant because they have the potential to grow our love for God or distract and pull us away from a relationship with him and his great plans for our life. The Enemy loves to get a hold of our thoughts and make us question God’s goodness and protection in our life. For our kids to love God with all of their minds, we’re praying that they “take captive” all the thoughts that are destructive, not instructive. This process of taking captive their thoughts is accomplished by knowing God’s word so that their thoughts are weighed against the truth of Scripture.  It also comes by considering what’s going into their minds and how that’s fueling (or lessening) their love for God. It’s praying that they evaluate the movies they watch, the music they listen to, and the voices they allow to speak into their lives.  Since our kids’ thoughts have the greatest impact on loving God with all of their minds, let’s take time to pray over their thoughts and ask God to help them take each one captive.  Lord, teach us to love you in all of the different areas of our life, including our minds. If our minds are made up of our thoughts, teach us to take captive our thoughts and bring them in line with your truth. Be with [name], helping them to guard what they allow into their minds so that it always honors you. 
 God’s word speaks: Isaiah 26:3; Jeremiah 33:3; Colossians 3:2–3; 1 Peter 1:13 
 


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BONUS: Marked by our Mind

What a treat to talk to Adrienne Camp about how she is trusting God with her kids.  Adrienne “Adie” Camp, a South African singer and songwriter, was the lead singer of the Christian rock band The Benjamin Gate before launching her solo career. She is married to fellow musician Jeremy Camp, whom she met on tour in 2002. They have been married since 2003 and have two daughters, Bella and Arie, and one son, Egan.  
 Throughout this entire episode, you will hear Adrienne’s heart to connect people in a very tangible way with Jesus. However, she acknowledges that we don’t always feel excited about that. Sometimes, we are sitting in a real place of doubt, frustration and disbelief. No matter where you are on your faith journey (or your kids) - I think you will feel so encouraged by Adrienne’s words and wisdom.  
 In this episode we discuss:The desire to protect our kids from mistakesThe real grief experienced when you launch a child Getting honest with God - all our feelings and emotions included doubt and anger
 
 Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo 
 Resources from today’s show: As For Me - Adrienne’s latest bible study on Psalms  Even Me - Adrienne’s book with her girls about their journey to Africa Adrienne Camp’s Instagram  Pardon the Mess episode with Jonathan and Peta Pitts Christian Parenting Store (15% off with coupon PODCAST2024) 


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How to approach God when you have anger, doubt and frustration with Adrienne Camp

“What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” —Mark 8:36 Loving God with all of our soul sounds very important, but what exactly is our soul? Our soul lies deep down inside of us and is our very core. It’s the invisible part of us that connects us with God. It is where we are most at home, and it’s the most fundamental driver of who we are from the inside out. If you strip away all of our outward actions and how we choose to portray ourselves (or how others may define us), the soul is our truest self. To love the Lord with all of our soul, we’ve got to be faithful in private. We’ve got to be devoted to the things that drench our soul in Jesus and be willing to drop the things that don’t. It’s spending time in prayer confessing what’s in our soul, not just in our mind.  As we pray for our kids to love God with all of their souls this week, let’s pray that they learn to love him with the very core of who they are—not by what they intellectually believe about him, or how they serve him, or what they communicate to others by their faith, but truly learning to love Jesus from the core of their being.  Pray for the Lord to reveal the depths of their soul and teach them how to love him with all that they are.  Lord, we confess to spending a disproportionate amount of time worrying about our earthly bodies, usually at the expense of our soul. Please teach [name] how to love you from their very core, giving priority to the only part of us that will live eternally.  God’s word speaks: Psalm 119:81; Psalm 63:8; Deuteronomy 4:29; Matthew 10:28

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“Best of” with Ken Wilgus talking about parenting teens

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