Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

By Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW

What's Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries about?

Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries is a weekly podcast hosted by Victoria Priya, LCSW (formerly Vicki Tidwell Palmer), author of Personal Boundaries For Dummies, and creator of the 6-Step Boundaries Clarifier. Beyond Bitchy dispels the common misperception that boundaries are selfish, rigid, and controlling, and offers a fresh vision of personal limits as a source of freedom and liberation. Get expert information about how to identify, create, and establish effective personal and relationship boundaries so that you can get the space you need, and the connection you crave.

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Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries episodes:

04.10.2024
#144 - Meet the Boundaries Queen
Hello, Beyond Bitchy listeners! It’s been a long time, and I’m thrilled to have something new to share with you. When I recorded the previous episode of Beyond Bitchy in 2021, I knew two things: it was time to wrap...
07.28.2021
#143 - 4 Essentials for Mastering Boundaries (Part II)
Last week, I talked about the first two of the four essentials for mastering boundaries: “Who’s Got the Power?” and “Stinkin’ Thinkin’.” (If these don’t sound familiar, I recommend going back to listen to Episode 142.) This week, I’ll...
07.21.2021
#142 - 4 Essentials for Mastering Boundaries (Part I)
I’m lucky enough to have been able to give myself the gift of a 27-day sabbatical, which gave me so much clarity into both my personal and professional life. And now that I’m back, I’m inspired to offer some insight...
07.07.2021
#141 - Are Boundaries a Sign of Disapproval?
People have a lot of misconceptions about boundaries. You may hear people say that boundaries are harsh, rigid, a punishment, or even selfish. Some people even believe that sharing boundaries is a way to control others or tell them what...
06.30.2021
#140 - ENCORE - Rest, Don't Quit
Lately, have you noticed a sense of collective exhaustion, sadness, and impatience? Right now, it may feel like there’s not a lot to celebrate. This is especially true with the holidays coming up, since they're going to look much different...
06.23.2021
#139 - ENCORE - Extreme Self-Care and Boundaries
At some point, all of us will have experiences that require us to focus our attention on ourselves in an intense way. For example, an advanced cancer diagnosis, an accident, or shocking news may require you to go into extreme...
06.16.2021
#138 - ENCORE - Rest, Rejuvenation, & Boundaries
Today’s episode is all about rest, rejuvenation, and boundaries, which absolutely relate to one another! I’ll explain why rest is so important and why it’s so difficult to unplug in our uber-connected, device saturated world. I’ll also give you some...
06.09.2021
#137 - Trade Your Triangles for Straight Lines
Are you ready to trade your triangles for straight lines? Don’t worry, you’re not back in geometry class; this is actually related to the talking boundary. Triangulation is something that we do all the time, but we should all work...
06.02.2021
#136 - When Someone You Love Is in Danger
People in your life may be facing a variety of dangers, from mental health issues or suicidal urges to addiction or unsafe behavior. But today, I’ll focus on a specific type of danger: physically or sexually abusive relationships. It’s painful...
05.26.2021
#135 - When Your Ex Doesn't Behave
Before we start, I’d like to offer you a quick apology! You may not have been able to find the earliest episodes of the show because of a mistake in the podcast settings on the back end. That’s fixed now,...
05.19.2021
#134 - Using the Talking Format (Part 3 of a Deeper Dive Into the Talking Boundary)
Are you ready for the third part of my series on the talking boundary? This one is all about a specific process from the work of Pia Mellody: the Talking Format. This strategy is a roadmap around how to share...
05.12.2021
#133 - Speaking to Be Heard (Part 2 of a Deeper Dive Into the Talking Boundary)
If you haven’t heard last week’s episode yet, I recommend listening to that one too if you’re interested in this exploration of the talking boundary. In that episode, I covered what the talking boundary is, and what talking boundary...
05.05.2021
#132 - She Said What?! Part I of A Deeper Dive Into the Talking Boundary
By special request, I’m doing a deeper dive into the talking boundary. I’ve mentioned this boundary in 25 episodes, but I’ve never gone into the level of depth that it deserves. When your talking boundary is functioning well, you express...
04.21.2021
#131 - ENCORE - Listening When Trauma Speaks (Dedicated to the Memory of George Floyd)
Right now, in the United States, trauma is speaking. Prejudice and racism wounds, and are potentially traumatizing to anyone who experiences them. But listening to another person’s trauma is a challenging thing to do, especially if we perceive that we...
04.14.2021
#130 - What to Do When You Regret Saying Yes to a Request
We’ve all been there: you say “yes” to a request or accept an invitation, then realize that it just doesn’t work for you. But are you allowed to change your mind even if you’ve already said yes? As counterintuitive as...
04.07.2021
#129 - What is "Leaky Sexual Energy"?
If you’ve ever encountered someone whose sexual energy seems like it’s just spilling out all around them, you already have an idea of what “leaky sexual energy” is. While it can be hard to pinpoint or define (and isn’t based...
03.31.2021
#128 - Bodies & Boundaries
Did you know that tuning into your body is a brilliant source of information about you and your emotions? It can even help you learn about the boundaries you may want to set. The first step is to notice when...
03.24.2021
#127 - ENCORE - Don't Bite the Bait! How to Respond When You're Feeling Baited
From time to time, everyone struggles with biting the bait. And usually the people we feel most baited by are the people we care about the most. But there’s really no benefit to biting the bait, especially if we want...
03.17.2021
#126 - Are Your Consequences Punishment or Self-Care?
The next monthly boundaries clarifier workshop is coming up next Tuesday, March 23, 2021! Bring an issue or boundary, and we’ll all work on it together by using the 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier. But let’s get onto today’s topic: your...
03.10.2021
#125 - You Have the Power: Revisiting Step 3 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution Process
In case you haven’t already heard, I’m holding monthly boundaries clarifier workshops. At these events, we walk through the first four steps of the 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier. Today’s episode was inspired by something that came up in the very...
03.03.2021
#124 - Repeat After Me: I Am Not Responsible For Other People's Feelings!
You are not responsible for other people’s feelings. This may feel hard to believe if you tend to immediately feel responsible and guilty when someone is upset with you (as many of us do!). Tune in to learn how to...
02.24.2021
#123 - ENCORE - Extreme Self-Care and Boundaries
At some point, all of us will have experiences that require us to focus our attention on ourselves in an intense way. For example, an advanced cancer diagnosis, an accident, or shocking news may require you to go into extreme...
02.17.2021
#122 - What Other People Do is 100% About Them
Lately, I’ve been focusing on the theme of “return to you.” And getting caught up in the belief that what other people do is about you can get in the way of returning to, or knowing, yourself. So I’d like...
02.10.2021
#121 - Quick Tips #16: When Grandma Pushes Your Limits
Sooner or later, every single one of us will feel manipulated by someone. That’s why this episode is for you, even if you don’t specifically have a grandmother who’s pushing your limits. Today I’ll cover some strategies to help you...
01.27.2021
#120 - The Man Cave, Take 2
In case you missed it last time, I have an exciting announcement! Next month (February 2021), I’ll be starting a brand new event: a monthly live, interactive boundary clarifier workshop. Sign up here to be the first to get updates!...
01.20.2021
#119- ENCORE - Is Free Speech Really Free?
There's been a lot of talk recently about free speech—specifically, news stories about a somewhat infamous media figure who was banned from several major social media sites. It got me to thinking about the limits of free speech, which is...
01.13.2021
#118 - How Your Boundaries Get Calibrated
Before we get into the main part of this episode, I have a big announcement! Starting in February, I’ll be offering monthly workshops to support you as you work your way through the 5-Step Boundary Solution process. Sign up for...
12.16.2020
#117 - The Connecting Power of Boundaries
Happy holidays! This is the final episode for this year, but I’ll have some exciting news exclusively for listeners next year, and I’m looking forward to sharing that with you. For now, let’s talk about the connecting power of boundaries—because...
12.09.2020
#116 - Unique Snowflakes & Boundaries
People tend to see their situations as special or unique, when in reality, that’s not the case most of the time. But we often get tripped up around exceptionalism when it comes to our boundaries. There are two common “unique...
12.02.2020
#115-ENCORE-If I'm Triggered, Are You Responsible?
When you get triggered, is the person who you got triggered by responsible? And what does this have to do with boundaries? Today’s episode will dig into these important questions. If you’re a long-time listener, you may have guessed that...
11.25.2020
#114 - COVID-19 Boundary Challenges & the Holidays (Pandemic Episodes)
Happy Thanksgiving! This episode is coming out just in time to help you navigate the complexities of holidays in the time of COVID-19 (although the points about safety are always relevant). As we explore this new complex landscape, let's take...
11.18.2020
#113 - Rest, Don't Quit
Lately, have you noticed a sense of collective exhaustion, sadness, and impatience? Right now, it may feel like there’s not a lot to celebrate. This is especially true with the holidays coming up, since they're going to look much different...
11.11.2020
#112 - "She Has a Spell on Him." What Should I Do?
Have you ever disliked the spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, or date of someone you’re close to? Or wondered what your friend or relative sees in that person? Most of us have been there, struggling to understand how someone we care...
11.04.2020
#111 - Your Reality is the Only One You Need
If you’ve ever gotten into an argument with someone else about the reality of a certain situation, or what “really happened,” this episode is for you. The fact is that your reality is what is true for you in the...
10.21.2020
#110 - What to Do When People Make You Feel Left Out
I’ve definitely felt left out, forgotten, or excluded… and I’m guessing you have, too. This episode, which was inspired by a listener’s question, is about what to do when you feel that way. I’ll do things a little differently this...
10.14.2020
#109 - Is It Ever Okay to Violate Another Person's Boundaries?
The reality is that we violate other people’s boundaries all the time, and tell ourselves that we have a right to do it. But is that true? Is it ever okay to violate someone else’s boundaries? You may already know...
10.07.2020
#108 - Quick Tips #15: You Always Get to Change Your Mind
We’ve all been there: you’ve said “yes” to something, and then later changed your mind or realized that it’s not a fit for you. So what do you do? Are you obligated to follow through with your initial answer, or...
09.30.2020
#107 - You Can Ask for Anything (and the Answer May Be No)
So many people struggle to speak up or make a request to get their needs or wants met, so I tell you all the time that you can ask anyone for anything. But just as you have the freedom to...
09.23.2020
#106 - "Why Don't You Cover Up?"
Have you ever felt disrespected by what someone chose to wear (or not wear) around you, your romantic partner, or other loved ones? And what should you do when someone else’s attire makes you feel uncomfortable? The sometimes-difficult truth is...
09.16.2020
#105 - Managing "Quarantine Work Creep" (Pandemic Episodes)
Almost all of us are struggling with the new landscape of our jobs right now. And in this sudden reality of working from home, it can be a challenge to set healthy work boundaries. Without the separation between home and...
09.02.2020
#104 - How to Use Boundaries to Control (Don't Do It!)
If you’ve started using boundaries to try to control other people, congratulations! Your boundary skills are likely improving, and you have some knowledge of boundaries. That’s the good news. Now, the bad news: using boundaries to control isn’t a relational...
08.26.2020
#103 - Can Boundaries Be Gentle?
One of the biggest misconceptions about boundaries is that they’re harsh, rigid, or mean, and that they damage intimacy. In fact, boundaries can absolutely be expressed in a gentle way. And that’s exactly what I’m going to talk about in...
08.19.2020
#102 - Should I Make a Request or Express a Desire? (For Women)
Women, do you fully understand the difference between making a request and expressing a desire? The concept of expressing a desire as an alternative to making a request is a relatively new one for me, and I want to explore...
08.05.2020
#101 - What to Do When Loved Ones Don't Wear a Face Mask (Pandemic Episodes)
Has someone close to you made the decision not to wear a face mask? I experienced this recently, and I know that many of you have faced this issue as well. Today’s episode is dedicated to the topic. To help...
07.29.2020
#100 - 100 Episodes, One Baby Step at a Time
I’m so grateful, amazed, and happy to be here releasing episode #100 of the podcast! And I’m truly humbled by some of the responses I’ve received, and the impact this podcast has had on listeners. Let’s celebrate by looking back...
07.22.2020
#99 - Back Off, I Need Some Space!
Can you believe that next week will already be Episode #100? Wow! Stay tuned for something special. But for now, let’s talk about a topic inspired by the listener questions archive. Even if you love to get up close and...
07.15.2020
#98 - 7 Questions to Ask Before Speaking Your Authentic Truth
It’s important to speak your authentic truth, but that doesn’t mean you should do so blindly or recklessly. Today, I want to share seven questions to ask yourself before sharing your authentic truth with someone else to get clarity and...
07.08.2020
#97 - Quick Tips #14: For Clarity, Check It Out!
Last week’s episode was a marathon, so I'm going to balance it out this week with a quick tips episode. This one was inspired by a listener’s question that came from a miscommunication around something I said about children having...
07.01.2020
#96 - Listener Questions Marathon!
This special episode is a little different than usual! Last week, I did a live call to answer the massive backlog of listener questions from the podcast, and this episode is a recording of that call. If you’ve ever submitted...
06.24.2020
#95 - Don't Bite the Bait! How to Respond When You're Feeling Baited
From time to time, everyone struggles with biting the bait. And usually the people we feel most baited by are the people we care about the most. But there’s really no benefit to biting the bait, especially if we want...

What's Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries episodes:

#144 - Meet the Boundaries Queen

#143 - 4 Essentials for Mastering Boundaries (Part II)

#142 - 4 Essentials for Mastering Boundaries (Part I)

#141 - Are Boundaries a Sign of Disapproval?

#140 - ENCORE - Rest, Don't Quit

#139 - ENCORE - Extreme Self-Care and Boundaries

#138 - ENCORE - Rest, Rejuvenation, & Boundaries

#137 - Trade Your Triangles for Straight Lines

#136 - When Someone You Love Is in Danger

#135 - When Your Ex Doesn't Behave

#134 - Using the Talking Format (Part 3 of a Deeper Dive Into the Talking Boundary)

#133 - Speaking to Be Heard (Part 2 of a Deeper Dive Into the Talking Boundary)

#132 - She Said What?! Part I of A Deeper Dive Into the Talking Boundary

#131 - ENCORE - Listening When Trauma Speaks (Dedicated to the Memory of George Floyd)

#130 - What to Do When You Regret Saying Yes to a Request

#129 - What is "Leaky Sexual Energy"?

#128 - Bodies & Boundaries

#127 - ENCORE - Don't Bite the Bait! How to Respond When You're Feeling Baited

#126 - Are Your Consequences Punishment or Self-Care?

#125 - You Have the Power: Revisiting Step 3 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution Process

#124 - Repeat After Me: I Am Not Responsible For Other People's Feelings!

#123 - ENCORE - Extreme Self-Care and Boundaries

#122 - What Other People Do is 100% About Them

#121 - Quick Tips #16: When Grandma Pushes Your Limits

#120 - The Man Cave, Take 2

#119- ENCORE - Is Free Speech Really Free?

#118 - How Your Boundaries Get Calibrated

#117 - The Connecting Power of Boundaries

#116 - Unique Snowflakes & Boundaries

#115-ENCORE-If I'm Triggered, Are You Responsible?

#114 - COVID-19 Boundary Challenges & the Holidays (Pandemic Episodes)

#113 - Rest, Don't Quit

#112 - "She Has a Spell on Him." What Should I Do?

#111 - Your Reality is the Only One You Need

#110 - What to Do When People Make You Feel Left Out

#109 - Is It Ever Okay to Violate Another Person's Boundaries?

#108 - Quick Tips #15: You Always Get to Change Your Mind

#107 - You Can Ask for Anything (and the Answer May Be No)

#106 - "Why Don't You Cover Up?"

#105 - Managing "Quarantine Work Creep" (Pandemic Episodes)

#104 - How to Use Boundaries to Control (Don't Do It!)

#103 - Can Boundaries Be Gentle?

#102 - Should I Make a Request or Express a Desire? (For Women)

#101 - What to Do When Loved Ones Don't Wear a Face Mask (Pandemic Episodes)

#100 - 100 Episodes, One Baby Step at a Time

#99 - Back Off, I Need Some Space!

#98 - 7 Questions to Ask Before Speaking Your Authentic Truth

#97 - Quick Tips #14: For Clarity, Check It Out!

#96 - Listener Questions Marathon!

#95 - Don't Bite the Bait! How to Respond When You're Feeling Baited