Brick House

Brick House episodes:

• 12.15.2019

  081 To Your Health!

  Rather than thinking that “porn is bad,” maybe it’s more useful to think of it as “bad for your health.” Ben also explores the similarity between healthy activities and recovery activities. Appreciation: local wildlife! (especially chipmunks) Contact Ben or watch the web...

  
• 09.05.2019

  080 Hello Again!

  After a hiatus, Ben Fraser returns to podcasting and reintroduces himself and his perspective on quitting porn. It’s a worthwhile journey! Links: Matt Dobschuetz’s PornFree Radio podcast https://recoveredman.com/024-creativity-and-recovery-with-ben-fraser-creator-of-brick-house/ Unwanted - book by Jay Stringer https://jay-stringer.com/book/ Contact Ben or watch the web series http://www.brickhousewebseries.com Help people...

  
• 05.28.2019

  079 Anger, Anxiety and Therapy

  Ben is angry today. That’s a trigger, but so is anxiety. Is porn use the best way to deal with these feelings? Probably not. Somatic Experiencing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatic_experiencing Appreciation: Brené Brown https://www.newsweek.com/brene-brown-netflix-special-vulnerability-quotes-ted-talk-call-courage-1400956 Contact Ben or watch the web series http://www.brickhousewebseries.com Help people find it...

  
• 04.01.2019

  078 Miistakes and Other Disasters

  Ben tells the story of a recent “disaster” at an open mic performance. Rather than being mad about it, he laughed instead. Appreciation: Amazon Alexa Echo Dot. https://amzn.to/2FMl8Vt Watch the web series http://www.brickhousewebseries.com The Brick House Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brick-House/266939153469555 Also,...

  
• 12.24.2018

  077 Comfort and Joy

  God rest ye merry gentlemen Let nothing you dismay Remember Christ our Savior Was born on Christmas Day To save us all from Satan's pow'r When we were gone astray Oh tidings of comfort and joy Comfort and joy Oh tidings of comfort and joy Music this week by...

  
• 12.17.2018

  076 Ogling

  This week Ben answers a question from a listener (and accountability partner) about ogling. It seems like it can easily be an edging behavior. How can we change that pattern? Appreciations: Dear Sugars podcast about dating an addict https://www.wbur.org/dearsugar/2017/12/02/a-spy-in-the-house-of-love-with-ariel-levy Without Fail podcast interview...

  
• 12.03.2018

  075 Easy Women

  Porn offers the persistent fantasy that women exist in order to please men. But that doesn’t match up with reality very well. Or does it? Watch the web series http://www.brickhousewebseries.com The Brick House Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brick-House/266939153469555 Also, follow on twitter @brickhousetv Or help...

  
• 11.19.2018

  074 Restructuring Your Life

  It may be that some of the triggers that cause you to act out have to do with major aspects of your life - like relationships and work - and the only solution is to make major changes in the...

  
• 11.05.2018

  073 VOTE! (for the person you want to be)

  Every decision you make in your daily life is a vote for the kind of person you want to be - whether it’s an athlete, a musician, or a person with a healthy sexuality. Inspired by James Clear’s book Atomic Habits.https://jamesclear.com/...

  
• 10.22.2018

  072 Sustainability

  Ben muses on what it takes to change your habits permanently. What is sustainable and what’s not? Darya Rose Foodist Podcast - ideas about sustainability - https://soundcloud.com/darya-pino-rose/dr-yoni-freedhoff-why-you-must-like-your-life-if-you-want-to-keep-weight-off Darya Rose interview with James Clear - systems are more important than goals. https://soundcloud.com/darya-pino-rose/james-clear-the-4-laws-of-behavior-change Appreciation: Watch...

  
• 09.24.2018

  071 Love and Compassion

  Major events can show us that life is short, and precious. Do we want to spend it pursuing compulsive behavior, or in finding love and compassion with those we are close to? Appreciation: Libby https://meet.libbyapp.com/. Borrow thousands of ebooks and audiobooks...

  
• 09.10.2018

  070 Learning From Relapse

  Ben had a relapse, which is a drag. But what did he learn from it? And what can you learn from his mistakes? Appreciation: Vacations! Take more of them. Watch the web series http://www.brickhousewebseries.com The Brick House Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brick-House/266939153469555 Also, follow on...

  
• 07.24.2018

  069 Vulnerability

  This week, Ben talks about a simple strategy to deal with times when your sobriety is more vulnerable. Hint: it may have something to do with connection. Appreciation: Johann Hari’s book: Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression –...

  
• 06.27.2018

  068 Change Is Possible

  If you are an addict, it’s easy to get discouraged that things will never change. Ben Fraser says that change is not only possible, it’s unavoidable. There is hope! This episode was inspired by an Invisibilia podcast. https://www.npr.org/programs/invisibilia/482836315/the-personality-myth Watch the web series...

  
• 06.05.2018

  067 Porn Saved My Life

  You might think that porn ruined your life. But is it possible that it also saved your life? Ben Fraser explores the impact of compulsive porn use on his early life. Foodist Podcast with Darya Rose https://soundcloud.com/darya-pino-rose/how-to-stop-yourself-from-nighttime-bingeing Appreciation: Science Vs. Guns https://www.gimletmedia.com/science-vs/guns Watch the web...

  
• 05.25.2018

  66 The Meaning of #MeToo

  As Harvey Weinstein goes to court to face charges of rape, Ben Fraser reflects on what meaning the #MeToo movement has for those of us struggling with porn addiction. Tea and Consent: https://youtu.be/oQbei5JGiT8 Slate Interview with Weinstein accusers. https://slate.com/arts/2017/11/harvey-weinsteins-accusers-in-conversation.html Fresh Air interview with...

  
• 05.15.2018

  065 Resistance

  Ben Fraser reflects on how resisting something might actually make us more likely to engage in the behavior, and how to deal with that. Also, are current events triggering you? Appreciation: The Instant Pot! http://a.co/d9DQaNR Watch the web series http://www.brickhousewebseries.com The Brick...

  
• 05.03.2018

  064 Three Useful Tools

  In this practical episode, Ben Fraser talks about three tools that have been very useful in his recovery - a filter, meditation, and the FAST check in. A filter that Ben uses: https://x3watch.com/ A meditation app that Ben likes: https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app F.A.S.T. check-ins. http://recoveredman.com/106-back-2-basics-f-a-s-t-t-check-ins/ Appreciation: Thunderstruck...

  
• 04.21.2018

  063 A Diet of Junk Food

  Ben Fraser discusses how porn is like junk food. Consuming it gives you nothing of value, and is a poor substitute for what you really want. Inspired by Darya Rose’s class on Creative Live called “Lose Weight without Dieting.” https://cr8.lv/2HhJaep Also check...

  
• 05.19.2017

  062 Behind the Scenes of the Porn Industry

  It’s easy for a consumer of porn to forget that there is a human being behind the photos and images. And that smile is probably fake. Ben Fraser tells the story of one woman who got involved in the porn...

  
• 05.08.2017

  061 "Unbroken Brain" - Porn addiction is a developmental disorder

  Ben Fraser reviews “Unbroken Brain” by Maia Szalavitz, and discusses why adolescents are more vulnerable to addiction and why kindness and hope is most helpful to treating addiction. The book: https://www.amazon.com/Unbroken-Brain-Revolutionary-Understanding-Addiction/dp/1250055822/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8 Fresh Air interview with the author http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/07/07/485087604/unbroken-brain-explains-why-tough-treatment-doesnt-help-drug-addicts Appreciation: The Storied Life of AJ...

  
• 08.28.2016

  060 An Artist's Approach to Porn Addiction

  Musician, filmmaker and creative person Ben Fraser shares some of his ideas about an artist’s take on porn addiction, including changing the narrative, listening to your feelings, and when to ignore your feelings. Matt Dobschuetz’s Excellent podcast: http://pornfreeradio.com/ Watch the web series http://www.brickhousewebseries.com The...

  
• 07.03.2016

  059 Internet Dating For Porn Addicts

  Ben Fraser talks about the specific challenges of internet dating as it relates to recovering porn addicts, including fantasy and projection, taking sex out of the picture, and being a good potential partner. Matt Dobschuetz’s Porn Free Playbook: http://recoveredman.com/your-porn-free-playbook/ Watch the web...

  
• 04.13.2016

  058 After The Breakup

  Ben Fraser talks about the challenges of refraining from porn and masturbation in the 7 days immediately after a breakup. He faces the triggers of feeling bad about himself, isolation, and lack of sleep, and offers suggestions on how to...

  
• 04.06.2016

  057 Ben Grosscup Song And Interview

  Ben Fraser interviews activist folksinger and organizer Ben Grosscup. Ben G. also sings an original song about internet porn addiction, “Every Day”. Discussion ensues! Check out Ben Grosscup’s songs on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCZd4eJIEobjW4r3Nj0FVSuBFyZKYNDaF The Brick House Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brick-House/266939153469555 Also, follow on twitter...

  
• 03.30.2016

  056 Feeling The Love

  After a 3 month break, the podcast is back! Season 2 of the web series is available now! http://brickhousewebseries.com/ Ben reflects on how it feels to produce a web series about porn addiction, and reads some feedback from viewers. Read...

  
• 12.31.2015

  055 Happy New Year!

  As we think about the New Year, Ben chooses a few key points from the past year that have helped him to quit porn and stay sober. PornFree Radio episode about making a plan for 2015 http://pornfreeradio.com/057-go-porn-free-in-2016/ Going after a good life...

  
• 12.25.2015

  054 Self Care

  Are you taking good care of yourself? That is a key step in the challenge to quit porn. Matt Dobschuetz - PornFree Radio episode about making a plan for 2015 http://pornfreeradio.com/057-go-porn-free-in-2016/ Appreciation: Sue Grafton’s books about Kinsey Milhone http://www.suegrafton.com/bookshelf.php The Brick House Facebook...

  
• 12.16.2015

  053 Darkness And Light

  Ben Fraser reflects on the challenge of dealing with the darkness in our lives, literally and figuratively. This 2013 article has some interesting facts about the Winter Solstice: http://mashable.com/2013/12/20/winter-solstice-2013/#ML1cWk1.6sqA Leonard Cohen song “Anthem” https://youtu.be/_e39UmEnqY8 Appreciation: Holidays! The Brick House Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brick-House/266939153469555 Check...

  
• 12.10.2015

  052 What I Learned From Juggling

  How is learning to juggle like learning how to quit porn? Ben Fraser counts the ways. The show about yoga: https://soundcloud.com/ben-fraser-19/039-breathe-into-it-things-i-learned-from-yoga Learn to juggle: https://youtu.be/kCt1bmSASCI Appreciation: Every Frame a Painting https://www.youtube.com/user/everyframeapainting The Brick House Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brick-House/266939153469555 Check out the musical comedy Brick House...

  
• 12.02.2015

  051 The Wrong Reasons To Quit

  Ben Fraser talks about some of the wrong reasons to quit porn, and eventually gets to the right reason. Appreciation: Dogs Decoded PBS documentary. Watch on Vimeo for free.https://vimeo.com/19472436 The Brick House Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brick-House/266939153469555 Check out the musical comedy Brick...

  
• 11.25.2015

  050 Gratitude

  As a porn addicts, it’s easy to feel bad about ourselves, or notice how difficult things are. On this Thanksgiving, Ben Fraser takes a moment to think about what we he is thankful for. Some of the things I am grateful...

  
• 11.18.2015

  049 Advice To My Younger Self

  Today Ben thinks about what he would say to his younger self about porn, specifically when he was 12 years old. He’s learned a lot in the last 40 years. Appreciation: Alexander Rhodes, the founder of NoFap. Thanks Alex! http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php The Brick...

  
• 11.12.2015

  048 I Wouldn't Date A Woman Who...

  Back in Ben’s single days, there were a few woman who he wouldn’t consider dating because of the way they looked. But now he wonders if maybe his porn consumption got in the way of meeting possible partners who might’ve...

  
• 11.05.2015

  047 Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

  You may know the old country song by Johnny Lee. Looking at porn is kind of like looking for love in all the wrong places, since porn cannot give you love. But we try anyway! Want to be a guest on...

  
• 10.28.2015

  046 Entertainment For Men

  If you grew up with a certain magazine, then you know that phrase. Ben Fraser talks about how being a man makes us vulnerable to the “sex sells” techniques of capitalism, and encourages everyone to not be a cog in...

  
• 10.22.2015

  045 Feeling Terrible

  Most of us use porn to avoid feeling terrible. But the only way to really quit using is to just feel terrible for a while. Want to be a guest on the show? I’d like to hear your voice! Email Ben...

  
• 10.15.2015

  044 All I Need

  When you’re craving porn, you think it will satisfy your needs. But it never does. What do you really need? Want to be a guest on the show? I’d like to hear your voice! Email Ben http://brickhousewebseries.com/contact Appreciation: Bernie Sanders. https://www.facebook.com/berniesanders The Brick...

  
• 10.07.2015

  043 Day Four

  What it feels like to be on Day Four after a relapse. I hope you learn from my mistakes. Want to be a guest on the show? I’d like to hear your voice! Email Ben http://brickhousewebseries.com/contact Appreciation: Naomi Klein. Here’s an interview...

  
• 10.01.2015

  042 Choose Life (song demo)

  The podcast is on a break this week, so Ben Fraser is sharing a demo of a new song from the web series - “Choose Life.” Vocals by Gershon Eigner. The final song will be re-mixed and mastered with...

  
• 09.23.2015

  041 Ramblings

  Ben Fraser speaks on a wide variety of topics, including why he is doing the podcast, how a headache is affecting him, some of his most popular triggers, and the 10% solution to solving all the world’s problems. Appreciation: Music videos...

  
• 09.17.2015

  040 I Am An Addict, Dammit!

  Ben Fraser refutes Dr. David J. Ley’s claim that "the label of 'porn addict' causes depression, but porn watching doesn’t." While shame is indeed an issue, the label isn’t the problem, but in fact can be a solution. We’re fundraising to...

  
• 09.09.2015

  039 Breathe Into It - Things I Learned From Yoga

  Ben Fraser has been doing yoga for 34 years. Along the way, he learned a few things that are useful if you want to quit an addiction like porn. For instance, try to “breathe into the pain” instead of numbing...

  
• 09.03.2015

  038 My Story - Part 3: Lowest Of The Low

  Ben Fraser talks about “hitting bottom” and why he finally decided it was time to quit looking at porn. We’re fundraising to make new episodes of the web series! $5 can help a lot! http://www.igg.me/at/brickhousetv Thanks for checking it out! My story...

  
• 08.26.2015

  037 Willpower

  There’s a common idea that to quit an addiction, you need to have a lot of willpower. But Ben Fraser thinks willpower is only one component to quitting porn addiction, and there are other things more important. We’re fundraising to make...

  
• 08.19.2015

  036 Give Yourself A Break

  If you’re an addict, your idea of taking a break is probably doing the addictive behavior, If you quit the addictive behavior, it’s sometimes hard to figure out what to do to relax. We’re fundraising to make new episodes of the...

  
• 08.12.2015

  035 Good Sex

  Ben Fraser wonders what good sex really looks like. Is it something we are used to seeing, or is it completely different? Dr. Ruth: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruth_Westheimer Appreciation: Easy-going people The Brick House Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Brick-House/266939153469555 Check out the musical comedy Brick House Web Series...

  
• 08.06.2015

  034 How Does It Feel?

  Ben Fraser walks through a hypothetical porn experience and examines the feelings along the way. Obviously, there’s some pleasure. But what other feelings come along for the ride? Appreciation: Tune In: The Beatles: All These Years by Mark Lewisohn http://www.amazon.com/Tune-In-Beatles-These-Years/dp/1400083052/ The Brick House...

  
• 07.30.2015

  033 I Am You

  Being an addict is no fun. But if you look around, you may notice that everyone else around you is addicted to something, whether it’s porn, or caffeine or sugar, or just bad TV. This means that addiction can give...

  
• 07.23.2015

  032 Entitlement and Deprivation

  Ben Fraser examines how, as addicts, we might feel entitled to look at porn, because we feel deprived. We feel like we deserve it. But maybe there are better ways to think about it. Check out other episodes (including the missing...