Setting a trap for Santa Claus is a Christmas Eve tradition as old as time itself. In this episode, the Smiths discuss the most effective types of Santa traps, as well as how they'd spend their three Christmas wishes, since, when it comes to Santa, genie rules do apply.

Well...Clayton discusses these things, really. Ryan mostly just sits there and wonders how he got roped into recording this nonsense.

They also receive the gift of The World's Best Christmas Cookies from special guest Jordon Quattlebaum, who has his own ideas about trapping Santa. We share Jordon's recipe in the show notes at www.mediaempiremedia.com/show-notes.

Capture Santa for Your Own Selfish Purposes

Two Very Big-Time and Important college professors give weekly lessons on how to adult, covering everything from how to dress like a GD grown-up to growing your own vegetables like a boss. Strap in your ears and get ready to be adult AF.

Society & Culture

Personal Journals

History

Philosophy

Places & Travel

Comedy

Health

Alternative Health

Self-Help

Sexuality

Fitness & Nutrition

You can do it. No, we're serious. No, we're SERIOUS. Listen to us. LISTEN. Okay? Listen. 

You can grow a plant. We believe in you.

Yes, we know that you've killed every living thing you've ever put into a pot, but don't worry, this time you can do it. And you don't have to make this harrowing journey alone! We're here to help. So grab your gardening gloves, 'cause in like three or five months, you're going to have a cucumber to eat.

Grow Some Plants, Okay?

Oh, you still rent? Cool story, BABY. Real adults buy real estate, and it's high time you learned the ins and outs of being a major property mogul. It's like being a property brother, but usually you're shorter, and not a twin. WHO'S READY?

Buy Yourself a House

We weren't sure the world needed an Adult Harder episode about coffee, but then Ryan paid $7 for a medium iced coffee, so apparently there are people who are dumb about coffee and need our help. Mostly, Ryan. This episode is for Ryan. Ryan, this is for you, are you listening? Don't pay $7 for an iced coffee.

This week's bullet points include: The history of coffee; how coffee is made; the difference between a latte, a cappuccino, and a macchiato; how to be better at coffee than Ryan is.

Coffee Like an Adult

In the epic conclusion of our inaugural two-part episode on being gainfully employed so you can buy whiskey and chips, we share some hot takes on how to not be a terrible co-worker...then we're once again joined by our friend Val, who talks about office pranks, workplace romance, how to flame out of your job in a bright, beautiful blaze of terrible, terrible glory, and more. Last week you got that job; now we aim to help you keep it.

Get a Job and Keep It, Part 2: Keep It

We don't want to brag, but we have jobs. And you can have jobs, too! This week, we're premiering the first part of our two-part episode on getting and keeping that good, good job. First up: How to make a resume that doesn't suck and how to conduct yourself in an interview, featuring our friend Val, Human Resources expert.

Capture Santa for Your Own Selfish Purposes

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