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Episode 101 - Finding Joy part 8 - Generosity

Generosity is the 8th and final pillar of joy. It is a culmination of all the other pillars. When you can see with perspective, humility and humor, when you accept reality and not fight against it, when you can forgive yourself and others, be grateful for all you’ve been given, show compassion for life itself, you are being generous. Joy is making space for your whole human life, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and continuing to move forward.

Take aways:

#1 - What you focus on will grow bigger. With yourself and with others. Focusing on the good and being generous with yourself and others is not burying your head in the sand. It is purposefully choosing to see and emphasize the good. When you do this, it will grow. 

#2 - When your life is being contracted or desolated, be generous with how you treat yourself. Be generous with kindness, compassion, thoughts, and actions. When you see others in desolation or contraction, exercise generosity with them too. The give and take of your life and others lives is our common humanity and it bonds us together. 

Challenge:

Ask yourself: How can I feel generosity today for my trials? How can I transform my problem into an opportunity to give to others? When we give joy to others, we experience joy ourselves. We are all spiritually connected and when we give to others, it benefits everyone, including ourselves. 

Download the Free Guide:
 “The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
 Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

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Episode 100 - Finding Joy part 7 - Compassion

Compassion is a vital part of finding and reaching for joy. Joy is about embracing the entire human experience – the good, the bad, and the really hard. Compassion is the 7th pillar, and one of the pillars of the heart. When we use this pillar of compassion, we see the shared humanity within all of us and we connect more with others, and that in itself helps us to reach for joy.


Take away #1
Compassion connects you to other humans. This is vital to your biological need to be a part of a group. Your shared humanity with others and the ability to connect with others through that shared humanity can help you find joy. 

Take away #2
When you have compassion for yourself, you naturally will begin to extend it to others. Second great commandment – love others as you love yourself. Can’t love others when you can’t love yourself. We are the most joyful when we focus on others. 

Challenge
Kristin Neff is a self-compassion expert. She has a short test on her website that measures the elements of self-compassion (self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness) and the things that get in the way (self-judgment, isolation, and over-identification). Go take the test and sign up for her emails. This will help you see what you need to pay attention to in your own life in developing compassion.
www.self-compassion.org

Download the Free Guide:
 “The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
 Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 99 - Finding Joy part 6 - Gratitude

The Finding Joy series is based on the 8 pillars of joy outlined in The Book of Joy by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and The Dalai Lama. Gratitude is the 2nd pillar of the heart. So much has been documented about the benefits of gratitude, so I wanted to take a different approach to this important pillar.

Take away #1
When you practice being grateful for what you have each day, you are combatting the negativity bias in your own brain.

Take away #2
When you allow yourself to receive gratitude from others, you allow others to positively influence who you believe you are. The more favorably you view yourself, the more you will allow yourself to be flexible, take chances, speak up, connect with others – GROW in so many ways.

Your weekly Challenge
Every day this week, write down 3 things you are grateful for. Don’t repeat anything. After day 2 or 3, it might be hard to find something, and that’s a good thing! It will force your brain to begin looking beyond the normal things. After you write down what you’re grateful for, sit still for 5 minutes and allow your body to feel the gratitude. Be very aware of what gratitude feels like in your body. 

Download the Free Guide:
 “The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
 Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 98 Finding Joy part 5 - Forgiveness

This is the first pillar of the heart – the emotional center of our bodies. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do and if you’re tempted to bypass this episode, please stop and consider I might talk about forgiveness differently than you are expecting me to.

Any emotion we experience is something we should pay attention to. Emotions are the truth-tellers in our bodies and when we take the time to learn from them, we become more grounded and confident in our own lives – we are more likely to be able to find the Joy we are seeking.

Takeaway #1

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself it’s an inside job. And everything that is given to us in the form of a commandment is a gift from loving heavenly parents who want you to grow and mature and forgiving yourself and others is a vital part of that growth and maturity.

Takeaway #2

Allowing yourself to learn from the hurt you experienced will help you move forward. Use each and every experience in your life to be a learning and growing experience.

Challenge

Here’s your challenge for today. And this is something that I took from another book by Desmond Tutu called the Book of forgiveness. And I think this can be really powerful if you’re willing to take this challenge. So he said, Get a stone, not a pebble and not a boulder, something that you can hold in your hand, that has some weight to it. So something that is going to not be super easy to hold on to, because you’re going to hold on to it for six hours, in your non-dominant hand.

Now, for six hours, do not put the stone down for any reason. For the entire six hours, you could even go longer than six hours, if you want to really lean into this challenge this week.

That is the challenge is to hold on to that stone for six hours.

And then after, after you’ve done this, get out your journal, and write about the experience. Ask yourself these questions:

• What did I notice about carrying this stone?
• When did I notice it the most?
• Did it hin

Download the Free Guide:
 “The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
 Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 97, Finding Joy part 4 - Acceptance

This is the 4th episode in the Finding Joy series. Once you have been able to step back and see your circumstances with a wider perspective, found humility and let go of your ego, let yourself find humor in yourself through it all, it is much easier to come to acceptance for where you are and what you are experiencing. Acceptance is difficult to do when you are busy telling yourself things and people in your life should be different. But, it is a vital step in finding joy in your life. You literally can’t find joy without coming to accept what is. 

Acceptance is the 4th pillar of joy and the 4th pillar of the mind. Listen to these episodes to learn about the first three pillars:

Episode 95: Perspective

Episode 96: Humility

Episode 97: Humor

The Finding Joy series is based on the book, "The Book of Joy" by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama

Download the Free Guide:
 “The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
 Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 96 - Finding Joy part 3 - Humor

This is the third episode in a series of eight podcasts on creating joy in our lives. The eight pillars of joy are outlined in The Book of Joy by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Dalai Lama. Using humor to lighten a situation can help us to find solutions to the problems we face.

Take away #1

When we focus on the problems, all we see is problems and they will take over and become bigger. Feel your emotions, calm yourself down and focus on the solution, not the problem. Humor is a powerful weapon in helping to calm ourselves down so we can get to a state of mind to be able to focus on the solution. 

Take away #2
Connecting with other people – social connection, is one common denominator in all the pillars of joy. Trying to see the humor in a situation, in you, will help you to connect with others. It puts you and those around you at ease. It lessens the drama and allows you to calm down. It brings safety into a situation. Humor connects people on an emotional level. You don’t need to disparage yourself or anyone else. You can laugh at yourself while accepting your humanness and the humanness of everyone around you. 

Weekly Challenge:

Next time you notice yourself getting defensive, angry, disappointed, or any other hard emotion, ask yourself, “Where can I find the humor in this?” Just notice how this will help you to put other people at ease and the situation will become resolved more quickly. 

Download the Free Guide:
 “The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
 Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 95 - Finding Joy, part 2 - Humility

Feeling joy is different than being happy. Happiness is found in the circumstances of our lives, joy is found in the way we live our lives no matter what the circumstances. In The Book of Joy, the Dalia Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu give us 8 pillars of joy. The second pillar is humility. It’s about finding connection with each other and value and divinity within ourselves and others. 

Look at the pillar of humility through the eyes of a coach – why it’s important, what gets in our way, and how we can move past the obstacles to developing humility. 

Download the Free Guide:
 “The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
 Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 094 – Finding Joy part 1: Perspective

Adam fell that we might be; and we are that we might have joy. How is that joy going for you? Are you feeling joyful?! You probably struggle to feel real joy and are just trying to make it through another day, week, or month. We really can find joy in our lives, no matter what is happening, because joy doesn’t have to do with the circumstances of our lives, it has to do with the way we engage with the world. When you find joy in your life, that naturally carries over into how you approach your relationships and you will positively affect all those around you. Join me in the finding joy series and find more joy in your life. 

For the month of April, the $25 fee for the one-time coaching call is waived! Lucky you! Take advantage of this while you can, and grab your spot while you can. Space is limited. 

Download the Free Guide:
 “The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
 Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 93 Your Journey through the Know, Love, Grow Model

When you’re in the middle of a difficult trial, it can be very hard to get perspective. It’s very easy to be reactive, to not see the situation clearly, and to get caught up in the emotion of it all. When we do this, we are allowing ourselves to play into the victim mindset our brains want to drag us into. When you know how to get perspective, you begin to see where you power lies and you become the hero on your own life. You become a person who is acting and not being acted upon. Join me in this episode to see where you can find your hero energy and stay out of the victim role.

Grab the free downloads that go along with the Know, Love, Grow Model

 Getting to Know Yourself - 30 Journaling Questions

Combatting Shame

Developing Emotional Maturity

I would love to be your mentor as you go through your own Hero’s Journey of life and take you through my signature coaching program “Your Journey.” This is 1-1 coaching relationship, not a group program, and spots are limited. If you are interested in what this looks like for you, set up a free coaching call with me. I usually charge for this call, but for the month of April, I will be waiving this fee. 

CLICK HERE to set up your call. 

Download the Free Guide:
 “The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
 Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 92 – GROW Recap

This episode is my summary and takeaways from the GROW episodes in MARCH

The Know, Love, Grow series is all about how you spiral up, and grow in your own life, and in turn, how that carries over into your relationships with your family members. The greatest influence you can have on others is to live your life in such a way that shows them what is possible. You communicate volumes just by the way you are being in the world. This doesn’t require you to say anything. If you want to have a positive influence on your family, look at who you are being in those relationships first. The Know, Love, Grow series is designed specifically to help you go through this process. 

My Take Aways:

2:50 - Growth isn’t supposed to be easy, but it also doesn’t have to be hard

6:00 - Hating ourselves better doesn’t work

7:50 - Avoiding hard things isn’t growth

9:25 – Growth doesn’t just happen because you get older – it happens because you choose to make it happen. 

11:15 - Growth doesn’t mean doing more

13:10 - You need to have a way to remind Yourself of what you’re doing and why you’re doing it

14:25 - There is no magic place you’re trying to get to

Start using the Know, Love, Grow process for yourself by downloading my free trainings:

Download my free pdf worksheet with 30 journaling questions to begin to know yourself better:

Download HERE

When you begin to discover new things about yourself and know yourself better, this has the tendency to bring up some hard emotions and one of the biggest ones is shame. At it’s core, shame says to us, “There’s something wrong with me.” 

We easily get stuck in thinking there is something wrong with us, and when we get stuck there, we can’t access the very thing we need to grow. 

To help you work through any shame you may be experiencing, download this free worksheet: Download here

One of the most important ways yo

Download the Free Guide:
 “The 3-Step Solution to Keeping Your Cool Around Family Holiday Drama”
 Holidays can stir up old patterns and emotions—this guide will help you stay grounded and respond with grace.

Grab your copy here: DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Ready to learn how to manage your emotional reactions? Calm Core is your guide:

Being able to manage your emotional reactions to others is a vital step in repairing family relationships

CLICK HERE TO SEE CALM CORE

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.