Love and Money Podcast

Coercive Control: The Underpinning of Abuse with Dr. Christine Cocchiola


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Abuse isn't always physical. In fact, some of the most damaging abuse leaves no bruises—but it can destroy your confidence, your finances, and even your relationship with your kids.

This week, Tracy Coenen sits down with Dr. Christine Cocchiola, trauma-trained therapist, researcher, and creator of the Protective Parenting Program. With over 20 years of experience in social work and domestic abuse advocacy, Christine brings both professional expertise and personal insight to the conversation. She's here to expose the truth about coercive control—what it looks like, how it damages families, and how women can fight back in the face of this insidious abuse.

Tune in to learn the truth about this type of abuse:

  • What coercive control really is—and why it's the root of all types of abuse
  • How abusers manipulate, gaslight, and isolate their victims without ever laying a hand
  • The devastating impact coercive control has on children—and why the "don't put kids in the middle" advice can backfire
  • How abusers weaponize the family court system to continue their control
  • Why traditional therapy often fails victims of coercive control—and what actually helps

Coercive control can be subtle or overt, but the goal is always the same: to dominate and diminish. Dr. Cocchiola breaks down how this abuse operates—and what you can do to protect yourself and your kids, even when the system feels stacked against you.

How to protect yourself and your children from coercive control:

  • Understand that post-separation abuse is real—and often escalates after you leave
  • Learn how to name and validate your children's experiences without badmouthing the other parent
  • Shift from reacting emotionally to responding strategically—especially in court
  • Know when to let go of the "win" to protect your peace and your children's safety
  • Drop truth bombs, set boundaries, and disengage—while staying grounded in reality

Check out this episode to get the tools, language, and confidence to recognize coercive control, set healthy boundaries, and support your children through the chaos.

Resources & Links:

Dr. Cocchiola's book FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld : https://amzn.to/3ZjUHz5

Visit Dr. Cocchiola's website: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

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