by Autumn Dickson

This is a message for anyone who feels that they have found God and love Him, but also carry around a doctrine or policy that doesn’t make sense to them; this is for anyone who is having a difficult time reconciling the idea of a loving God (with whom they’ve had good experiences) with doctrines that don’t seem loving to them.

For this week, we are studying Section 137 and 138. It’s important to understand that Section 137 is not in chronological order. It was placed next to Section 138 because doctrinally, they fit together really well. It’s actually really important to understand that Section 137 is out of chronological order for a number of reasons. In order to understand what I want to talk about today, let’s talk about the chronological order of a few more things.

When Joseph was young, he struggled with which church to join. His mother was Methodist, and his father aligned more closely with the ideas of a unitarian. His father didn’t believe that God would send someone to hell because they hadn’t been baptized into a particular church. Joseph received the First Vision and over time, he learned more and more of what it meant to have the restored church of Jesus Christ.

Alvin died in 1823, a few years after the First Vision, before the authority to baptize had been restored. I wonder if Joseph was leaning towards his father’s views that Alvin wouldn’t go to hell just because he hadn’t been baptized. After all, Joseph was taught that the true church was not upon the earth. Maybe Alvin wasn’t in hell.

In 1829, Joseph received the authority to baptize. Joseph learned that baptism was essential, and it hadn’t been done with the right authority for a long time.

Think, for just a moment, about what this means to Joseph. He rejoiced in the restored church. In fact, he was overwhelmed with joy after baptizing his father.

But I also want you to think about the perspectives that Joseph was operating under at this period in time. He knew that authority to baptize was essential. He knew that his brother wasn’t baptized at all, let alone by any needed authority. For a long time, I believe that Joseph still thought Alvin had gone to hell.

It wasn’t until 1832 that Joseph learned there were different kingdoms in heaven. Can you imagine the relief that Joseph felt knowing that Alvin wasn’t burning up in eternal flame? But can you also imagine the pain that Joseph still felt when he believed he had still lost Alvin? There were some conflicting emotions there; Alvin wasn’t in hell, but were they still going to be separated?

Joseph received a vision of Alvin in the Celestial Kingdom in 1836. Here is part of that vision.

Doctrine and Covenants 137:5-6

5 I saw Father Adam and Abraham; and my father and my mother; my brother Alvin, that has long since slept;

6 And marveled how it was that he had obtained an inheritance in that kingdom, seeing that he had departed this life before the Lord had set his hand to gather Israel the second time, and had not been baptized for the remission of sins.

Joseph marveled to see Alvin in the Celestial Kingdom; he was surprised. This is part of the reason for my assumptions. For three years (not including the time before the priesthood was restored), Joseph believed Alvin was still burning up in hell. For four years, Joseph carried around the wound from his beliefs that he would be separated from Alvin.

There is an important implication from this timeline.

Joseph loved God. More than most, Joseph knew that God was real and that there was truth and that you had to be baptized and that there was specific authority. He knew this. Joseph had good experiences with God, but Joseph also carried around this painful wound that something felt tragically unfair.

Despite his knowledge of God, I wonder if Joseph ever still struggled with questions. How could a loving God do this? How could required baptism and authority be congruent with a fair God who loves all of His children? How could God have let Alvin die before the church was restored? What about all the other people who suddenly don’t qualify because the authority wasn’t on the earth?

And perhaps the question most of us have related to at one point or another in our lifetime, “If God is truly so loving, how is this His perfect plan?”

It doesn’t make sense. Joseph knew that God is perfect and just and fair and loving, but for a long time, Joseph was also operating under the assumption that God was going to let those who were unbaptized just suffer. How did Joseph reconcile this? Did he ever reconcile this or did he just hold on anyway?

Do you carry around anything that doesn’t seem congruent with a God who is perfect and just and fair and loving? Have you also had experiences with God and you have felt that He loves you and is leading you along here? Are you having a difficult time reconciling these two facts: that God is good but He also allows “xyz?”

I promise you two things. There is an answer, and there is also Christ’s atonement. Joseph was a prophet who received plenty of revelation, but God chose not to give that particular revelation for a while. Despite Joseph’s close relationship with God and despite his near constant influx of restored information, it took nine years for Joseph to learn that Alvin wasn’t going to be punished for dying before Joseph received the proper authority to baptize.

Take a page out of Joseph’s book. We don’t know everything yet. Is it really so implausible that God knows what He’s doing, that He has a plan that will take care of everything that you’re worried about? This isn’t said to negate any pain that you’re feeling trying to deal with this. Rather, it’s meant to give you hope in the midst of it. There is an answer and beyond that, there is the atonement of Jesus Christ. I don’t know why Joseph had to wait 9 years to learn about Alvin. You would think that Christ could have slipped that in at some point, but Joseph waited.

And Joseph was blessed. God is perfect and is handling everything beautifully. Beyond just a perfect answer, Christ suffered deeply so that He can carry us through the pain while we wait for those answers.

There are answers. If you hold on and rely upon the atonement of Jesus Christ and all of His adjacent promises, you will find answers and you will find joy. Not to mention, everything you’re experienced shall be for your good. The difficulty you’re wading through will transform you into exactly what you were meant to become.

I testify that God has a perfect plan. I testify that He truly is loving and perfect and fair and just. I testify that He is good and is handling everything beautifully. You don’t have to carry this. He’s got this. I also testify that beyond having a perfect plan, Christ paid for the plan and suffered what you suffer so He can run to you and comfort you.

Autumn Dickson was born and raised in a small town in Texas. She served a mission in the Indianapolis Indiana mission. She studied elementary education but has found a particular passion in teaching the gospel. Her desire for her content is to inspire people to feel confident, peaceful, and joyful about their relationship with Jesus Christ and to allow that relationship to touch every aspect of their lives. Autumn was the recipient of FAIR’s 2024 John Taylor Defender of the Faith Award.

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