Conflict is inevitable. But most of us were never taught the skills that would help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called ‘Conflict.’ This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. The book Tom references in this episode: "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Stone, Patton & Heen. Related episodes this month are:
 A Difficult Conversation
 Disagree Agreeably
 Getting Agreement
  Repairing Damaged Relationships
 Resolving Conflict In the Tips archive is a category called "Relationship Building." Many episodes there have useful tools, too. Help yourself.
 https://essentialcomm.com/tag/relationship-building/

Conflict

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Management

Self-Improvement

Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned. 

Tom’s Top Three Ideas for Mastering Nerves:Celebrate Incremental ImprovementWrite Happy EndingsIgnore Your Nerves
 Here is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkN0sPQ76E0 
 Email Tom and tell him he’s crazy here. 
 For Coaches! 2 Resources!

1.  Coaching Stories Podcast 
2.  Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF-LA. CCE’s given! 
 Tom’s conversations with Neha Singh on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast are here and here. Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin. 
This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories: Managing Yourself Nervousness Self-Talk 
 Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies:  Act “As If” Choosing Persistence Conquering Fear The Executive Impostor The Many Parts of You 
 Grab a free transcript of the episode here.   
Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. 
 From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Mastering Nerves

Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try.  
Be in touch with Tom here. 
Listen to Tom’s conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here. 
Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look and sound of leadership.  
G.W. Bailey’s imdb page is here. 
 This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories: For Women Managing Yourself Self-Talk 
Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies:  188 Boundaries 165 The Conflict Conversation 220 Holding Boundaries 219 How to Set Boundaries 116 Speaking Your Truth  
Grab a free transcript of the show here.  
Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. 
From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Conquering People Pleasing

A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too. The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement.

Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead course for exactly that purpose. Ready to build your courage? Reach out to us here. 

Find more resources to build your skills in the podcast archive. Search these categories:

Assertiveness Feedback Management Skills 
 Five episodes you might listen to are: #47 Discussing Difficult Behaviors #18 Holding People Accountable #138 Managing Disruptive Executives #127 Managing Performance: Up or Out #65 Sorting & Labeling 
 A free infographic for Sorting & Labeling is in our Essential Tools bin. Help yourself to that and all the others. 

Thinking about developing someone in your organization, or yourself? Reach out to Tom here.

Grab a free transcript of the show here. 


Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. 
 From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

#podcast #managingbadbehavior #leadershippodcast #leadershipchallenges  #behaviormanagement  #leadershiptips   #leadershipdevelopment  

Finding Management Courage

A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers. In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’s a Jerk.”  
Tom’s wide-ranging conversation with Josh Dittmer can be found here. 
Free tools to support your professional development are in our Essential Tools bin. Please help yourself. 
Ready to explore coaching? Reach out to Tom here. 
 Other episodes to help you manage yourself in difficult workplace relationshipsare:The Disruptive Executive – Part OneThe Disruptive Executive – Part TwoDon’t Take It PersonallyHandling Defensive BehaviorsThe High-Maintenance Executive
 Looking for a transcript of the show? Download it here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. 
Thanks to all of you, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership.  Happy, healthy, safe new year!

5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists

Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture. 

Download our free Political Style Chart here.

“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. 



Looking for a transcript of the show?  Read it here.


More tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:

For Women
Perception – how you perceive others
Relationship Building

Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:

188 - Boundaries
210 - How to grow your self-management
67 - “I hate politics”
142 - The Mindful Executive
121 - Your Goodwill Bank Account

Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.

Let us know how we can support you.

Happy, healthy, safe new year. I look forward to being with you all in 2024.

From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, Happy New Year! And thanks!



Conflict

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