Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

By Tony Santore

Natural Sciences Comedy

What's Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't about?

A show about plants as viewed through the lens of evolution and ecology with a side of deranged ranting, crass humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom. Plant ecology, systematics, taxonomy, floral chemistry, biogeography and more.Joey Santore was a degenerate railroader for 15 years during which he taught himself Botany by reading textbooks and research papers in the cab of the locomotive while stealing time from work. He has traveled to 11 different countries studying plant communities. He is the host of the YouTube channel Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't and the host of the show Kill Your Lawn on EarthX TV.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5634537/advertisement

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LAST EPISODE

Going to Jail for Botany

12.05.2023

Dr. Peter Breslin is a Botanist out of Tucson Arizona specializing in Cacti, and recently did time in Brewster County Jail for "trespassing" to photograph some rare endemics that only grow on Novaculite (ancient biogenic silica) soils in West Texas. ...

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't episodes:

12.05.2023 Going to Jail for Botany Dr. Peter Breslin is a Botanist out of Tucson Arizona specializing in Cacti, and recently did time in Brewster County Jail for "trespassing" to photograph some rare endemics that only grow on Novaculite (ancient biogenic silica) soils in West Texas. ...
11.26.2023 A Conversation About Peyote with Leo Mercado A discussion about Peyote conservation being done by Morningstar Conservancy in Tucson, Arizona and the ethnobotany of the Peyote Meeting, as well as what it means to "listen to the plant".This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if ...
11.22.2023 Dallas Plant Rescue & West Texas Dunes In this episode we rant about :Rescuing and digging thin-soiled limestone prairie plants from a soon-to-be-destroyed site in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area weeks before the bulldozers come by to erect a data center or some other obscenity.Moth pollination in deserts, ...
11.16.2023 Nuevo León & Tamaulipas Cactus Blitz Jeremy Spath (owner of Hidden Agave nursery @hiddenagave) and Kevin Krucher (@crazy4cactus) talk about a recent trip through the states of Nuevo León, Tamaulipas and Coahuila to document and explore desert plants and their ecology, including tons of rare species ...
11.15.2023 Poison Ivy Doesn't Wanna Hurt You This entire podcast is about the Poison Ivy & Mango Family, Anacardiaceae. Susan Pell , Executive Director of the US Botanical Garden & John Mitchell from the New York Botanic Garden both specialize in the systematics and phytochemistry of this ...
11.13.2023 The Conspiracy to Drain The Great Salt Lake In this episode we talk with Zach Frankl from www Utahrivers.org about the (intentional ) crisis afflicting the Great Salt Lake and why one of the largest inland bodies of water in the world may soon cease to exist, all ...
11.06.2023 A Conversation with Doug Tallamy Doug Tallamy is an entomologist, professor, and the author of a number of books, including "Bringing Nature Home" & "The Nature of Oaks". He has been instrumental in educating people about Native Plants and why removing lawn to plant native ...
10.30.2023 Make Your Own Soil & KILL YOUR LAWN Jeremy Tidd runs Bona Terra Nursery, a native plant nursery in the DC area that grows native plants and also does native landscape installations for people looking to kill their lawns. In this episode we talk about making your own ...
10.26.2023 DC Botany, Ghost Plant Seeds, Invasion Bio, etc In this episode we rant about DC / Baltimore area botany, filming kill your lawn season 2, the glory of Texas leaf cutter ants, the seeds of ghost plant and the whole friggin' phylogeny really, invasion biology and why it's ...
10.22.2023 Kill Your Lawn Recap Very little botany-related content in this session with Al Scorch during an interim during the shooting of Kill Your Lawn Season 2 in College Park, MarylandThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising ...
10.18.2023 Native Bee Ecology with Sam Droege Sam Droege is a scientist who studies bees and bee behavior based out of Maryland. In this episode we talk bee ecology, how to attract them to your yard, their nesting and habitat requirements, why the honey bees are the ...
10.16.2023 KILL YOUR LAWN... & MAKE IT THE LAW. This episode is an interview with Jeff & Janet Crouch, who sued their Maryland HOA in 2019 and ended up changing state law. Legislation that was enacted in 2021 now makes it illegal for HOAs in the state of Maryland ...
10.09.2023 Ethnobotany & Plants You've Never Heard of w/ Anthony Basil Rodriguez Anthony Basil Rodriguez is an ethnobotanist from the Bronx, New York that has traveled the world studying wild bananas. In this episode we talked about his travels all over the world and other notable and incredible plants he has encountered, ...
10.07.2023 Butterflies and Border Walls Marianna Wright is the director of the National Butterfly Center in Mission, Texas, which provides critical habitat for wildlife in the Rio Grande Valley of South Texas. The National Butterfly Center was targeted by extreme right-wing activists and conspiracy theorists ...
09.29.2023 Cornell Herbarium, Brooklyn Cactus, VA Buckwheat This episode consists of a 90 minute rant about the wonders of Cornell University Herbarium (1 million specimens you schmuck), how a cactus came to grow in Brooklyn, Botanizing a filthy industrial creek in Queens New York, the enigmatic Appalachian ...
09.27.2023 Floral Scents & Pollination Systems w/ Dr. Rob Rugoso, Cornell University In this episode with Dr. Rob Rugoso from Cornell University we discuss the chemistry of floral scents, how scent evolves (ie Clarkia breweri), night pollination, flowers that trap their pollinators, floral mimicry & more.This show is part of the Spreaker ...
09.16.2023 Prairie Rants & the Herbaceous Perennial Habit A rant about how prairie soils get built, what exactly a "herbaceous perennial" is and why this habit is so relevant and important to remember when talking about the prairie, how important prairie grasses like big bluestem (Andropogon gerardii) and ...
09.13.2023 Setting Fire to Suburbia w/ Gerould Wilhelm Gerould Wilhelm is one of the two authors of Flora of the Chicago Region - A Floristic & Ecological Synthesis. In this episode we talk about a number of topics, from prairie hydrology, native American belief systems, civilizational ethos and ...
09.06.2023 Paleobotany with Fabiany Herrera Fabiany Herrera is a paleobotanist specializing on a diverse array of time periods and paleofloras, including the Mazon Creek Flora from the Carboniferous when Lycopods were friggin' trees, as well as the utterly bizarre Jurassic and early Cretaceous Bennettitales & ...
09.04.2023 CHICAGO CONFLICT & GLACIAL TILL SUMMER BASH A one hour rant about Glacial Till, Kankakee Mallow, Sand Prairies, Stiff Designs for Native Plant Landscapes, Emulating the "Beautiful Chaos" of the prairie, etc.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on ...
08.24.2023 How Ancient Glaciers Affect Peyote - a Conversation with Keeper Trout from Cactus Conservation Institute Keeper Trout is one of the founding members of Cactus Conservation Institute and a research scientist who - along with Dr. Martin Terry - has studied a number of the cactus species in South Texas for 3 decades in an ...
08.19.2023 Philippines Botany, East Texas Yucca Pollination, etc w/Adam Black In this episode we talk about the botany of the Philippines (influenced by a remarkable tectonic setting), volcanic activity, ultramafic soil, "ant-plants" like Myrmecodia (Rubiaceae), Dipterocarpaceae, cloud forests and lowland rainforest) , the psychedelic lichen #Dictyonema , as well as ...
08.17.2023 Fighting with City Hall, Star Cactus Mortality, et Rants about Fighting with City Hall over Native Plant Gardens & Tree Planting, Creepy New Age "Healers", mortality in Star Cactus (Astrophytum asterias) from the recent drought and heat, Loving-Kindness-Meditations-and-what-the-sh*t, Nasally Belched Vowels in the Chicago Dialect and much more.This ...
08.13.2023 New Age Massage Parlors, Philosophical Coping, etc Rants about New Age Massage Parlors, Philosophically coping with "the human tumor" & habitat destruction, acid abstinence & 40 year old virgins, black nectar in the genus Melianthus, etc.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are ...
08.11.2023 A Conversation About Cactus Poaching with Jared Margulies Listen to this podcast ad-free on the Patreon at : https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntJared Margulies is the author of the upcoming book "The Cactus Hunters", a book focusing on cactus and succulent poaching around the world using a number of case studies from ...
07.22.2023 Catching up with Kyle Lybarger of The Native Habitat Project In this episode we catch up with Kyle Lybarger of the wildly popular Native Habitat Project and talk about seed-collecting, lawn-killing, burn regimes, the benefits and necessity of hunting and much more.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, ...
07.20.2023 A Conversation About Tabernanthe iboga Intro ends at 8:00. Reminder all episodes can be listened to ad-free by subscribing to the Crime Pays Patreon at : https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntThis 1 hour and 40 minute episode covers the ethnobotany, pharmacology, & phylogeny of this psychoactive, potentially-therapeutic member of ...
07.12.2023 Brazil Atlantic Forest & Cerrado Vegetation Rants First 30 minutes occur on a winded, 900 meter elevation-gain hike. A more thorough, less distracted rant starts at 30:00.Rants about Brazilian Atlantic Forests and Cerrado (Seh-Haddo) vegetation, seasonal dryness caused by the ITCZ and Earth's Axis of rotation, converge ...
06.23.2023 Geologic German Chocolate Summer Bash & Basalt Flows with Nick Zentner Intro ends at 6:30Nick Zentner is a professor of geology at Central Washington University and host of a in-the-field geology YouTube Channel. He has numerous lectures available online at www.NickZentner.com and is based out of Ellensberg Washington.This show is part ...
06.21.2023 Some Notable Remarks On New Zealand's Flora This episode is basically a 90 minute rambling rant about New Zealand plants & plant ecology, where by a repeated fascination and fixation is expressed with the evolutionary selection pressures produced by a flora that co-evolved with 9 species of ...
06.19.2023 A Conversation About New Zealand Fungi A conversation with my mycologist friend Alan Rockefeller about fungal diversity in New Zealand/Aotearoa, fungi with caps that don't open (which may be an adaptation to bird dispersal) and some of the weird complexity in the genus Psilocybe.This show is ...
06.13.2023 Heteroblasty Anonymous - A Conversation About New Zealand Plants In this episode we have a 3 person conversation about the Flora of New Zealand, touching on such notable ecological and evolutionary characteristics among the plants here like leaf heteroblasty, leaf divarication, co-evolution with the now-extinct Moas, plate tectonics and ...
05.26.2023 The Future of Peyote Conservation in South Texas Intro ends at 15:03In this episode we interview Benny Villareal about his work with Peyote Conservation in South Texas and his history with the Native American Church, touching on the topics of Peyoteros, Land Clearance, Habitat Destruction as a result ...
05.14.2023 Chonkosaurus & Chicago River Botanical Survey Rants about Chonkosaurus, the Chicago River getting cleaned up, the bio-swales that UrbanRivers.org created along the river, Rooftop Graffiti Appreciation Committee, Redundant Praise for the Field Museum and the Plant Systematics Dungeon/Welwitschia mirabilis, How the smell of Cigarettes replaced the ...
04.27.2023 90 minutes of Aroids with Tom Croat In this episode we talk with Tom Croat of Missouri Botanical Garden, a world expert on Aroids and the family Araceae. Tom has been to over 130 countries studying this family and the immense amount of diversity in it, including ...
04.26.2023 Kill Your Lawn Release, Sweat Ceremony, Chicago Museum Scam, etc Rants about overpriced museums, crook county, kill your lawn release, Missouri Botanical Garden Aroid Dungeon, getting banned from places of prestige, sweat ceremony, sand endemics of Florida, pissing off prestigious turds in academia, etc.This show is part of the Spreaker ...
04.18.2023 Talking Florida Panhandle Plants in a Longleaf Pine Forest Lillium Byrd is a Botanist with the Florida Native Plant Society. This conversation took place in a Longleaf Pine Forest while watching fireflies light up the canopy of the trees.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you ...
04.05.2023 A Conversation with Margaret Behan Margaret Behan is an Arapahoe/Cheyenne member of the Native American Church, as well as one of the "13 Indigenous Grandmothers". In this episode we talk about Peyote Religion, people wanting a connection to plants and to the land they live ...
03.31.2023 Paintbrush & The Genus Castilleja w/ Mark Egger Intro rant is about 25 minutes long."Paintbrushes", aka the genus Castilleja, are seemingly everywhere in the Americas, especially in the more arid and montane parts of these continents. Containing 200 species, the genus is highly diverse and broadly distributed, working ...
03.23.2023 Living Soil Crusts With Corey Nelson Intro is 11:00Anybody who's spent any time studying or even observing plants in desert or seasonally arid environments is familiar with soil crusts and how bizarre and unique they can be, as well as the role they must be playing ...
03.16.2023 Relict Oaks, Sky Islands, Austin Texas Botany & Texas Madrones In this episode we rant about pleistocene relict oaks growing on desert sky islands, paintbrush species in the desert, plant communities of the hill country West of Austin, how it's actually not that hard to grow 'Texas" Madrones, how silty ...
03.09.2023 FCKING CANCELLED w/ Jay LeSoleil Intro is 15:00 long.Jay LeSoleil is an activist, advocate and one of the two voices behind the FCKING CANCELLED PODCAST. In this episode of Crime Pays we talk about "cancel culture", the bizarre and deranged ideological path that some elements ...
03.06.2023 Gesneriads with Dr. John Clark Podcast starts after a 40 minute intro...Dr. John Clark studies the plant family Gesneriaceae (In the same Order as Salvias, Mints, and Penstemons... Lamiales).In this podcast we talk about this brilliantly colored often epiphytic tropical plant family and some of ...
02.24.2023 What the @&#! is Going On With North American Railroads In this episode we talk with my friend Ron Kaminkow, founding member of Railroad Workers United (www.railroadworkersunited.org) about just what the he11 has happened with North American Railroad Companies in the past five years and what effect it has had ...
02.22.2023 Ricardo Ramirez aka Lizardskinn Ricardo Ramirez aka Lizardskinn is a naturalist and photographer who has explored many of the remote areas of Northern Mexico, documenting cactus and reptile diversity with an emphasis on habitat. He has seen and documented many incredibly rare species of ...
02.20.2023 Kill Your Lawn rehash TRIGGER WARNING : This ENTIRE episode is about 40 minutes of inundation in the phenomenon that is the nasally, intensely-obnoxious Chicago accent.In this episode we do a quick rehash of recent filming of Kill Your Lawn in New Orleans, wrapping ...
02.11.2023 A Conversation with Printmaker & Artist Roger Peet Roger Peet is an artist, printmaker, organizer, & naturalist. IG = @toosphexyLink Page/store for ordering prints : https://toosphexy.carrd.co/?fbclid=PAAaaRBHW1j1gc6TJgIdRdjPOudw6KjimonyoNXCYGe_GH-vS1S5iiwbz_IYIEpisodes can be listened to ad-free on the Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested ...
02.06.2023 Peyote Ceremony & Esenbeckia In this episode we talk about being in "the fitness center of da mind" as a goal of enlightenment, attending a peyote ceremony, being woo-ed to sleep by nightjars and woken up by kiskadees, foaming out over the rare Esenbeckia ...
01.22.2023 2 Hour Plant Biology/Ecology Crash Course w/ Scott Zona In this episode of Crime Pays we talk with Dr Scott Zona, author of a seminal new book on beginner's Botany ("A Gardener's Guide to Botany") about plants chemical defenses, night blooming plants, cyanide in plants, the bizarre weirdos that ...
01.19.2023 South Florida Monologues The beautiful bark of Poison Wood, "What the sh*t is a Hardwood Hammock?", Swamp Walking, Epiphytism, KILL YOUR LAWN, Corraloid roots and why nitrogen-fiing cyanobacteria need them, Tillandsia dungeon inside a cypress dome, OOOOOOOlitic Limestone, why roots splay out and ...

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