Direct Communication | Date Your Wife | EP 085

Married co-hosts, Danielle K and Garrett J White, share their experiences as they do their best to navigate their way through this life. This week, the topic of conversation is Communication. *EPISODE REPLAY FROM OCTOBER 2018*   Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Communication Point #1: Some Like it Hot Danielle attributes her direct communication to the fact that she’s a Taurus. “They’re actually sweet people, but if you set them off, you better get out of the fucking way.” In marriage, she believes you have to use tact when you communicate with your partner. She usually runs questionable things through the ‘dating filter’ before she sends them to Garrett: “If we were dating, would I say this?” QUESTION How often do you find yourself running your communication through filters? Point #2: Don’t Poke the Bear Garret: Once Danielle is face down in the pillow, and the dog is curled up at her feet, I am now encroaching into the evil lair of insanity. I go about my evening routine knowing that Danielle is in comatose mode. Danielle: Do you want to make love to your whiteboards, or do you want to make love to me? Just give me a little squeeze. If I respond, you’re in luck; if I say nothing, you’re shit out of luck. QUESTION What non-verbal signals and signs do you give to each other? Point #3: Feeling Wanted Garrett: There was a time I was unable to acknowledge to myself nor have a conversation with Danielle about the fact that sex was important to me. I was always indirect and hoping things would work out instead of directionally speaking to them. It was the same with my businesses. Danielle: I started to understand that in order to get what I wanted, we both had to feel wanted. Girls like and want sex, but I think it’s more of being wanted, and having that attention and validation that my man is into me. QUESTION How do you make sure your partner feels wanted by you? Point #4: Direct Communication Garrett: Part of the conversation in our home is that we talk directly with each other, as well as in front of our children. Our kids have very strong opinions about things, and they use very powerful language. I used to steer clear of direct communication in our marriage, particularly on the topic of sex, because I just did not know how to get over my story of feeling rejected and my pain of feeling so. QUESTION In what areas of your life do you have a challenge with direct communication? Point #5: Running Man Garrett: I had given myself permission for a very long time to allow our relationship to be on eggshells, mostly because I literally couldn’t commit to much and I was always in a place where I was ready to bail. About two years ago, a shift took place inside of Garrett causing the back door to completely disappear. Danielle noticed huge results after Garrett finally gave himself permission to commit and go all in. QUESTION What level of commitment do you have inside your marriage? Communication Challenge: Inside of your relationship, where are you avoiding direct conversations? How is this impacting your marriage? Date Night Topic: Have a conversation about this topic: In order to get what I want, we both have to feel wanted. Quote of the Week: “Commitment itself is the bridge or gateway to actual direct communication. If you’re not committed to your marriage, or to the person you’re married to, direct communication cannot happen.” –Garrett J White “As we set our relationship up for success, it impacts so many other areas of our life, including the example we set for our children.” –Danielle K White