* Spring Break State of Emergency 2022, Phil Mickelson v. The Masters, Sarah Lawrence University sex cult, LA's Tesla stunt jump, Oscars' whiner wins, racist Google, and we vet an alleged Mazawey resume. * It's pronounced ma·kuh·fee.* Phil Mickelson will not play at The Masters for the first time since the 90s. Maybe he'll get enough signatures to return to Michigan by 2051.* We list very famous left-handed quarterbacks.* Chode, red a$$, and dips#!t are words that need to be said more.* We remember great movies of the past including Vision Quest, Over the Top, Desperately Seeking Susan and Reality Bites.* Some people are trying to show that Maz never claimed to be a Saint Peter's alumni. Some people are saying this is fake news.* The China plane crash gives John Nance an opportunity to pop off on television using fancy aviation words.* Spring break 2022 is off the hook! So much so that a curfew is in place in Miami. We check in with a 50-year-old rando on Spring Break. This will be stuck in your head.* Drew Crime: Blonde's vocal coach has been murdered in NYC. The Department of Justice 'accidentally' released the names of Larry Ray's sex cult clients. Oops.* The latest hot new doc is HBO's Gaming Wall Street, but it's not very good.* Events: Metallica, Green Day and Jane's Addiction are the only good bands at Lollapalooza.