In this raw and deeply introspective episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, host Tammy Vincent sits down with Rob Tonkin — musician, author, and survivor — for a powerful conversation about the long shadow of trauma, the art of self-reflection, and the courage it takes to transform pain into purpose.

Rob opens up about his life journey and the inspiration behind his boldly titled memoir, “Asshole,” a candid and thought-provoking exploration of how our wounds can shape our identities — sometimes leading us to repeat the very patterns we long to escape. Through honest reflection, Rob reveals how he confronted his own dysfunction, reclaimed his emotional awareness, and began the lifelong process of healing.

The conversation weaves through the themes of music, memory, and meaning, showing how sound and song became both a refuge and a mirror — unlocking emotions, grief, and growth. Together, Rob and Tammy explore the delicate art of vulnerability, the importance of emotional sobriety, and what it truly means to step out of survival mode and into conscious living.

This episode is an invitation to look within — to recognize that healing begins with honesty, compassion, and the willingness to face ourselves fully.

💡 Key Takeaways

• Childhood trauma often shapes adult behaviors and emotional patterns.
• Rob’s memoir “Asshole” is a powerful exploration of dysfunction, healing, and human connection.
• Music serves as a profound tool for processing pain and evoking healing emotions.
• Vulnerability and self-awareness are essential steps toward emotional freedom.
• Healing requires recognizing and interrupting unhealthy family patterns.
• Self-compassion is the bridge to personal growth and lasting transformation.

⏱️ Episode Chapters

00:06 – Introduction to Today’s Guest

03:30 – The Journey into Music and Trauma

08:28 – The Impact of Music on Memory and Emotion

17:21 – The Impact of Childhood Experiences

21:53 – Understanding Trauma and Its Impact on Relationships

28:35 – The Journey to Emotional Sobriety

39:40 – Exploring Healing Methods and Personal Growth

44:15 – The Journey of Surrender

49:05 – The Journey to Vulnerability and Healing

58:30 – The Importance of Self-Discovery in Healing

You can reach Rob at https://www.facebook.com/fb.rob.tonkin/ or https://www.instagram.com/robtonkin_/ and you can grab his book : "A..Hole https://www.amazon.com/ASSHOLE-Memoir-Stories-Trauma-Transformation/dp/1960299719/ref

Hey there, I’m so glad you’re here and tuning in! If this episode spoke to your heart, just know there’s even more support waiting for you.

I work with people who are ready to heal from the inside out — especially those dealing with chronic stress, anxiety, inflammation, gut issues, or burnout. If you’ve been struggling with symptoms your doctors can’t fully explain, it may be that your past is still living in your body. Unhealed emotional wounds and nervous system dysregulation often show up as physical and mental health challenges — and I’m here to help you break that cycle. If you are curious about where you stand energetically, or just need a frequency boost, book your FREE biofrequency voice scan here: https://calendly.com/tammyvincent/complimentary-scan-demo

As an international inspirational speaker, NLP Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Coach, Neurofit Trainer, and Best-Selling Author, I bring both deep personal experience and professional training to the work I do. I believe in prevention, not just intervention — and use a body, mind, and spirit approach to guide others toward becoming the happiest, healthiest versions of themselves.

My holistic toolbox includes nervous system regulation, trauma-informed coaching, nutritional support, and natural healing strategies,

Most of all, I’m your friend on this journey — cheering you on and reminding you that you absolutely can live your best life EVER. 💛

🔑 Start Your Healing Journey

Find ALL THE THINGS HERE: Anything that I have to offer is right here

🆓 Signature Course – Trials to Triumph: An Adult Child's Emotional Freedom Blueprint

Unpack the past, embrace your truth, and build emotional freedom — without overwhelm.

👉 Start here: www.tammyvincent.com/course

🧠 Work With Me – Head-to-Toe Wellness Consultation

Let’s explore what’s really going on in your body, mind, and spirit. During this free discovery call, we’ll assess where you are and what tools can support your healing.

👉 Book your session: https://calendly.com/tammyvincent/head-to-toe-wellness-consultation

✈️ Bonus for Travel Lovers!

Did you know I also offer access to an amazing travel savings program that can help you save up to 70% on hotels, resorts, cruises, and more? Let’s compare your next upcoming itinerary and see how much you could save.

👉 Try the Trip Check: https://calendly.com/tammyvincent/trip-check

📺 Subscribe to My YouTube Channel

👉 Adult Child of Dysfunction on YouTube

🌟 Book Me to Speak at Your Event

👉 Let’s connect: https://calendly.com/tammyvincent/speakers-event-chat

🫶 Let’s Connect

📩 Email: [email protected]

📱 Text: 513-280-3555

🌟 If this episode helped you, please share it with a friend, leave a review, and hit follow. Every share helps break generational cycles and brings healing into more lives.