Episode 4: Depression in Daughters – The Research Gap We Can’t Ignore

EPISODE OVERVIEW

In this important episode, Shelley and Jeni explore the connection between maternal age and depression risk in daughters—a topic that emerged from their conversation with Caity in Episode 3. The discussion reveals a shocking gap in mental health research affecting millions of families.

KEY TOPICS:

· The 2015 Australian study linking maternal age (35+) to higher depression in daughters

· Jeni’s postpartum depression experience at age 44

· Complete lack of follow-up research despite rising maternal ages

· Mental health support gaps for middle-aged mothers

· Alternative therapies (EFT/tapping) for maternal anxiety

· The need for age-specific mental health protocols

EPISODE STATISTICS:

· 2023: First time in U.S. history more babies born to women 40+ than to teenagers

· Fertility rates for women 40-44 increased 127% since 1990

· Yet virtually no mental health research on this population since 2015

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

[00:01:00 - 00:03:00] Jeni’s Postpartum Depression Story

Jeni shares a vivid memory of sitting on her nursery floor organizing diapers while sobbing uncontrollably. Despite experiencing “the happiest thing in my life,” she felt overwhelming sadness and depression that continued well beyond the typical two-week “baby blues” period. The frightening loss of control over her emotions was intensified by the hormonal changes after giving birth at 44.

[00:04:00 - 00:06:00] Modern Pressures on Daughters

Jeni expresses deep concerns about raising a daughter in today’s world, where 13-14 year olds look like adult women due to social media influence, makeup knowledge, and impossible beauty standards. She emphasizes the importance of approaching this research with knowledge rather than fear: “Sometimes the best thing you can do is not be scared of something, but be armed with knowledge and power.”

[00:06:00 - 00:08:00] Shelley’s Different Experience

Shelley’s postpartum experience at 43 was different—navigating a marriage affected by addiction while caring for a newborn, a 10-year-old, and stepchildren. She doesn’t remember feeling depressed, experiencing instead fear and uncertainty. This highlights how postpartum experiences vary widely.

[00:08:00 - 00:10:00] The 2015 Australian Study

Key findings from this groundbreaking research:

· Daughters of mothers 35+ showed significantly higher depression and anxiety rates at age 20

· Effect found ONLY in daughters, not sons

· Effect linked ONLY to maternal age, not paternal age

· The study has never been replicated

· No follow-up research has been conducted

[00:10:00 - 00:12:00] The Shocking Research Gap

Shelley’s discovery: Despite millions of women worldwide having children at advanced ages and dramatic demographic shifts, there has been no research on this topic since 2015.

Current research focuses only on fertility issues and pregnancy complications—mental health is completely ignored.

[00:12:00 - 00:14:00] Personal Stakes

Jeni reflects that her daughter will be 20 when Jeni is 64, potentially facing retirement. This reality drives her health choices: “Get healthy, keep walking, keep moving... so that you get to 64 and it looks like you’re still in your fifties or forties.”

The 2014 Canadian study found mothers over 40 had higher depression rates than younger mothers, raising questions about how maternal mental health impacts children—another area with no recent research.

[00:16:00 - 00:17:00] The Perimenopause Connection

Jeni shares how hormones “go sideways” during perimenopause, significantly affecting her mental health throughout life. The overlap of perimenopause/menopause with active parenting needs urgent research attention.

[00:18:00 - 00:21:00] Jeni’s Pregnancy Anxiety Crisis

During late pregnancy, Jeni experienced a surge of anxiety when she couldn’t breathe due to the baby pressing on her organs. Her OCD kicked into full gear with obsessions about dying.

After trying talk therapy with minimal relief, she made a collaborative decision with her obstetrician, psychiatrist, and husband to start an antidepressant. She got relief within weeks, though struggled with medication consistency postpartum.

[00:23:00 - 00:25:00] The EFT/Tapping Breakthrough

Jeni’s talk therapist spent most sessions talking about herself—a poor fit. Shelley connected Jeni with EFT practitioner Jeni Johnston in Australia. The tapping technique gave Jeni a powerful sense of control: “I am in control right now. The world is not spinning out of control.” Both hosts had forgotten this happened until their conversation!

[00:25:00 - 00:27:00] What is EFT?

Shelley, a certified EFT practitioner, explains Emotional Freedom Technique:

· Combines Eastern medicine (acupressure points) with Western psychology (exposure therapy and CBT)

· Clinical research shows it’s equally effective as EMDR for trauma

· Works for trauma, phobias, fears, cravings, and anxiety

· You expose yourself to difficult memories/emotions while pressing acupressure points to calm the body and rewire neural pathways

· Research by Dr. Peta Stapleton validates its effectiveness

Shelley is developing group EFT tapping sessions specifically for middle-aged moms.

[00:27:00 - 00:29:00] The Middle-Aged Gap in Healthcare

Shelley notes that Psychology Today listings skip from “young adults” to “older adults”—nothing for middle-aged people.

Society lacks cultural spaces, medical focus, and mental health recognition for this life stage.

This needs to change.

THE RESEARCH GAP CRISIS

What’s Missing:

Despite dramatic increases in women having children after 35, there’s virtually no research on:

· Mental health outcomes for middle-aged mothers beyond postpartum

· Long-term family dynamics with older parents

· Mental health outcomes for children of middle-aged mothers

· Why daughters (not sons) show higher depression rates

· Why maternal age matters but paternal age doesn’t

· Mechanisms behind these findings

· Preventative strategies or interventions

What is Being Studied:

· Fertility issues and technology

· Pregnancy complications

· Everything that can be “managed” medically

· But mental health is completely ignored

The Stakes:

Children born to 40+ mothers in 2023 will be 20 years old in 2043—when we’ll see if the Australian findings hold true. But we’re doing nothing to prepare, prevent, or understand.

UNIQUE CHALLENGES OF MIDDLE-AGED MOTHERHOOD

Advantages:

· More psychologically prepared and emotionally mature

· Greater life experience and wisdom

· More established professionally and financially stable

· Can have deeper, more mature conversations

Challenges:

· Stronger fears because we’ve “lived long enough to know some hard truths”

· Perimenopause/menopause overlapping with active parenting

· Less energy than younger parents

· Worries about longevity and missing children’s milestones

· Children entering adulthood while parents become elderly

· Potential for earlier caregiving responsibilities

KEY QUOTES

“I had experienced like the happiest thing in my life, what I had dreamt of happening forever and ever and ever. And yet all I could feel was sadness and tears and just so many tears and depression.” – Jeni

“Knowledge is power. I think it’s a little bit one step further. It’s what we do with the knowledge.” – Shelley

“Do you know what I found? Nothing. Nothing. That there has been no research done in this field specifically of depression, this link between maternal age and female depression later in life.” – Shelley

“It gave me a sense of control. I felt like I am in control right now. The world is not spinning out of control. I have a grasp on whatever it is I’m trying to get a grasp on, and it was very therapeutic for me.” – Jeni on EFT

PRACTICAL TAKEAWAYS

For Middle-Aged Mothers:

· Don’t assume postpartum depression is “just baby blues”

· Seek support early—find therapists who understand your life stage

· Consider alternative therapies like EFT if traditional therapy isn’t working

· Know that medication can be appropriate and helpful

· Build strong support systems and prioritize your health for longevity

For Healthcare Providers:

· Screen older mothers specifically for mental health risks

· Create age-specific protocols for this distinct population

· Don’t focus only on fertility and pregnancy complications

· Provide appropriate mental health resources and support

For Everyone:

· This research gap affects millions of families right now

· We need to replicate existing studies and examine mechanisms

· Society must recognize middle-aged adults as a distinct life stage

· Women’s health research generally needs more funding and attention

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Studies Discussed:

2014 Canadian Study

2015 Australian Study

Mental Health Resources:

Jenny Johnston - EFT practitioner, Australia

Dr. Peta Stapleton

CALL TO ACTION

· Share this episode with middle-aged mamas and healthcare providers

· If you’re a mental health or medical professional, contact the podcast to share your expertise

· Subscribe and leave reviews to spread awareness

· Email: [email protected]

Remember: Our community is stronger and better because you are in it. You belong here exactly as you are.

Get full access to Middle-Aged Mama Drama at shelleybee.substack.com/subscribe