With the battle for Hanzhong in full swing, Liu Bei sends a senior citizen to chase off some rowdy kids.

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Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 90.

Last time, the forces of Liu Bei and Cao Cao were going at it in the region of Hanzhong. One of Cao Cao’s generals, Zhang He, was routed by Liu Bei’s brother Zhang Fei, losing almost his entire army of 30,000 men. When Zhang He ran back to his commander Cao Hong, Cao Hong was incensed and wanted to execute Zhang He.

Fortunately for Zhang He, one of Cao Hong’s officers, Guo (1) Huai (2), chimed in and said, “Building an army is easy; finding a general is hard. Even though Zhang He is at fault, he is well-liked by the King of Wei and must not be lightly executed. We can order him to lead 5,000 men to attack Jiameng (1,2) Pass. That would force Liu Bei to redeploy his forces, and peace will naturally be restored in this region. If he fails, then you can punish for both offenses.”

Cao Hong simmered down a bit when he heard this, so he gave Zhang He another 5,000 men and sent him off to attack Jiameng (1,2) Pass. Jiameng Pass was a key location near the borders between Hanzhong and the Western Riverlands. It was being defended by the officers Meng (4) Da (2) and Huo (4) Jun (4). When they heard the enemy was coming, Meng Da insisted on going out to fight, despite his comrade’s advice to the contrary. So out went Meng Da, and moments later, back in came Meng Da, having received a beatdown by Zhang He. So now, they hurriedly sent off an urgent dispatch to Liu Bei in the city of Chengdu.

 

When Liu Bei got word of this, he consulted Zhuge Liang, and Zhuge Liang assembled the officer corps and said, “There’s an urgent situation at Jiameng Pass. We must go fetch General Zhang Fei; he’s the only one who can defeat Zhang He.”

“But General Zhang is currently defending another important location,” the adviser Fa (3) Zheng (4) said. “We cannot redeploy him. We must pick an officer from among those here to repel Zhang He.”

“But Zhang He is a famous general of the North,” Zhuge Liang said with a smile. “Ordinary folks are no match for him. No one but Zhang Fei is up to this task.”

Well, as you might imagine, somebody among the officers present was bound to take offense to this remark. It was like Zhuge Liang was deliberately trying to rile them up, not that he would ever do anything like that.

“Director general, why do you hold us in such low regard?” a stern voice boomed. “Even though I am untalented, I am willing to go get Zhang He’s head and present it to you!”

Everyone looked and saw that it was the old general Huang Zhong who had spoken.

“General Huang,” Zhuge Liang said, “your valor is unquestioned, but you’re nonetheless getting up there in age. I worry you would not be a match for Zhang He.”

When Huang Zhong heard that, the white hairs on his head stood up, and he said, “I may be old, but my arms can still pull a strong bow, and my body still possesses plenty of strength. How can I not be a match for that nobody Zhang He?!”

“But general, you’re nearing 70; how can you not show signs of age?” Zhuge Liang said, continuing to egg on Huang Zhong.

Huang Zhong now stomped out of the hall, grabbed a big saber off the weapons rack, and spinned it in his hands like windmill. Then,