Our heroes emerge from a two week Easter hiatus like a pair of cracked Easter eggs being devoured by bears with headaches and largely vacant playing rosters; taking derisive aim at everything from tackles to whistles and showing about as much quarter as a late night truth social post.

On the brighter side of life, our pair of pythons go full Monty on expansion insight for the NRL, offering more takeaways (Grap and go's) than Southern Florida around how the game probably won't end up being broader than the map in Game of Thrones, and might just be approaching a very steep cliff. Does local infrastructure support another team in SEQ? Do players exist to support 20 teams? The brass are running evasive manoeuvres that might have even saved the Pentagon a few bucks on these queries, as the most devious of coaches slips away from the fire of a thousand Targaryen Dragons in the NRL ranks. 

AFL is summarised with far more relish than an overpriced brioche Angus beef burger on game day at the Gabba, as the lions gather in a less and less interested Adelaide and the suns look to prove their genuine mettle in the shadows of a terrifying Swan. Rugbys vague wording around the Giteau law makes a shadowy appearance, as does a wistful back and forth over the games Mount Rushmore across eras, which leads to another history channel style segment of the same name in rugby league.

If fox sports could get into its program in less than 3 minutes we'd all be happier, and it might also be a tidy earner for Matt Nable to begin voicing intro sequences to HBO programs, as he adds a bit of Donkey energy to the expression 'overly long package.'

While we're at it, have a think about the sporting events you'd go to over any other, and we might even see you there. It'll be far more positive, we assure you.

Welcome back heroes. Eat, pray, grapple.