Two legendary lone wolves. One hell of a matchup. It’s modern warfare versus old-school grit as John Rambo takes on Clint Eastwood’s iconic Man With No Name. We’re talkin’ booby traps, cigarillos, red bandanas, ponchos, and body counts that would make history textbooks weep.

We run the Tale of the Tape, dive deep into each fighter’s strengths, and ask the big questions: Could a revolver ever outpace a rocket launcher? Would a spaghetti western outlaw fall for jungle mind games?

Plus: keyboard carnage, fantasy memorabilia, shirtless glistening comparisons (don’t ask), and your hosts rank all 5 Rambo movies.

Strap in. It’s jungle warfare vs tumbleweed.