"Tonight Show" writer Caroline Eppright teaches us how to grow up with lawyers for parents, how to rise from PA to writer, how to find the best bbq in Kansas City, how to move to New York from the Midwest, how to create a 1-800 number for yourself, how to get coffee and donuts for Tina Fey, how to avoid a terrible massage, and how to be friends with cheap people. Then we play Bring Polite to a Fight, where we find the most Midwestern way to politely insult people. Bless your ugly mom's heart!