The Focus 53 Podcast: Business Systems, People, & Processes

F53-065: How Is Fear Preventing You From Being Your Best

10.20.2016 - By Ryan Ayres: Business Coach and StrategistPlay

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Show Summary: Today's show is about FEARS. I'm going to try to keep this in the business context but as you can imagine this bleeds all over the place. Fear, for me, as I work on myself, on my business, and my mental, spiritual, and personal sides of the house, I've noticed that fear dictates and controls a lot of what I do, and more specifically, what I don't do. There are all types of fears and I'm going to cover a few of them here.   Fear of failure We don't appreciate how much this controls us. I see this with a lot of business owners, individuals, and businesses I work with. One of the ways I see fear of failure happening is you will work with anyone that comes to your business. Your fear of not making money takes over so you'll just work with anybody and that will kill you in the long run. In a more traditional sense, it's the fear of doing something because you're afraid you're going to fail, of what you'd look like if you failed, and of how that would feel to you.   Fear of success People do have the fear of success for some things. You project yourself in your head that you're having a certain level of success but that success comes with other things like making more money than your friends or you're making enough that your family is going to ask you for money or you have to pay more taxes - any of these other things that come with success. More pressure is another thing. In the corporate world, success often equates to more responsibility, more travel, more hours, etc.   Fear of rejection This would come in the form of whether you’re being rejected by your peers for not being a thought leader, or being rejected by the common audience for not pleasing them, or for saying something to somebody and afraid that they'll reject you so you instead say what they want to hear. This fear of rejection is what keeps you from being your true and genuine self. You're not going to hear yes every time. Honestly, this is a big one for me as I am a people-pleaser at my core. As I continue to coach, consult or work with people, I find that the more genuine I am to myself and the more I serve somebody with no fear of them rejecting what I'm doing or saying, the better I produce for them, the more genuine I am, and the better results they have. They may reject a thought or an idea but I don't visualize it as thinking that I'm a bad person, which is often the case.   Fear of missing out This comes all the time in the business world. You might call it the shiny object syndrome or the new project syndrome or the "I can't keep my shit together and focus on a project" syndrome. There's a new project, a new idea, a thought, a new customer, etc, and if you don't go do it or spend time on it, you're afraid that you're missing out on something. This is the biggest problem. You're not focused. You're afraid of missing out that you spend all this mental energy on what could have been or what you've missed out on while you're missing a really good opportunity with the business you already have.   Fear of what others may think You have this sense of fear that what you say, do, accomplish, or don't accomplish will not be good enough for them. They may think down upon you. This is a combination of all the fears put together. Probably 9 out of 10, this is your own fear in your own head and doesn't truly reflect what you think. For example, if I started a business and it went south, it's not that I was afraid of failure, but I was afraid my best friend or my wife would think that I am a loser. The reality is, they won't. Because that's just not how they are. They don't view a single failure in the sense that you are a failure. These are two very different things. I still care about what my wife or best friend or other people think but I don't have fear that my actions done in the best of interest, with the best of mindsets, are going to be something that persuades them to dislike me. They may not have liked my actions or business ideas, but I no longer have any fear that they may think I'm a bad guy because a business didn't go well. This may manifest with you in a lot of different ways and I see it manifest in business and business owners I've worked with.   Having the Athlete's Mindset You seldom see this kind of fear in the sports arena, specifically on the field. You don't think about what the person next to you thinks about you in the heat of the battle. This is the mindset that you want to get into. Now, once you go out of the field and back to the locker room to watch films, that's when fear begins to hit you as you're sitting there being peer-reviewed. Your fear of what others think comes into play when you slow things down and you begin to think a little irrationally. The funny thing is you're sitting there in fear of what the other person sitting next to you would think while he's also thinking what you are thinking. The reality is... no one really gives a crap. The same analogy applies to business. At the end of the day, the more fear you can let go of, the more fears that you can identify, the more you're able to sense their true meaning in your life and not let them control what you do, the better off you are. This is a big focus for me to work on the fears, the things that guide my thoughts, and more importantly, the things that prevent me from taking action where a lot of them are fear-based. There are more different types of fear and different ways they're being manifested inside a business and life in general. Hit me up if you want to know more about them.   Books, People, & Resources: I'm researching former professional athletes and how they transition from being an athlete or a new lead athlete into the "real world." I'm interested in hearing about their struggles, their challenges, roadblocks, successes, and everything in between. Sports has always been a big part of my life. I love them. I have a special interest in athletes and specifically the ones that have competed at the highest levels. Do you know anyone like that? If so, I'd love to hear from them or maybe it's even you. Shoot me an email at [email protected]. eye9design - A boutique web design and WordPress agency that just celebrated 10 years in business (an eternity in the web design space). They built hundreds of websites for businesses of all sizes. Finding a web design company is hard. There are lots of options, lots of good ones but lots of bad ones. Let the team at eye9design take care of you. If you need a great website for a great price, visit www.focus53.com/eye9. Mention this ad and get 10%. Download the 15 Most Popular Tools Business Owners Should Be Using

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