This episode steps into the quietest — and loneliest — season of my journey. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I had safety on paper, but inside, I was unraveling. What followed was the scariest chapter of my pregnancy, a rush to the hospital at 23 weeks, and a miracle no doctor could explain.

In the wilderness I didn’t want to return to, God was fighting battles I didn’t even have strength to name. This is the story of how He held my body, my baby, and my heart together when everything around me was falling apart.

When everything fell apart, I entered my own wilderness — forty-five days where silence, fear, and surrender became my only company. This episode walks through that season after the emergency protective order was issued — when I had to face the wreckage, clean the house, and rebuild my life from the ground up.

I share what those days looked like behind the scenes: CPS visits, sleepless nights, the weight of single motherhood, and the quiet ways God started providing when I had nothing left to give.

It’s about the wandering — the part of the story where healing doesn’t look pretty yet, but the foundation for freedom is being laid.

In this deeply personal episode, Katie opens up about the moment everything fell apart — and how that collapse became the beginning of freedom. What started as a “second chance” turned into the breaking point that changed her life forever. Through the chaos of domestic violence, fear, and faith, Katie shares how God began to move when she finally whispered a dangerous prayer: “Remove anything that doesn’t align with You—whatever it costs.”

If you’ve ever felt trapped between love and survival, or wondered where God is in the middle of the storm, this episode reminds you that even in the fallout, He’s still writing redemption.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode contains mentions of domestic violence, emotional abuse, and substance use. Please listen with care.

In this deeply personal episode of Failure Into Freedom, Katie shares the storm that came after the red flags — when silence became survival, and “keeping the peace” meant losing herself.

Through stories of fear, faith, and resilience, she opens up about the reality of domestic violence, substance use, and emotional abuse — and the quiet strength it takes to find freedom again.

This episode is a reminder that even when you feel unseen, God is still fighting for you. You are not crazy. You are not alone. And you are not beyond redemption.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses domestic violence, emotional abuse, and substance use.

If you or someone you know is in danger or needs support, please reach out:

📞 National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

🌐 Faith-Based Support: www.calltopeace.org

💜 You are worthy of peace. You are worthy of safety. You are worthy of freedom.

What happens when the person you love becomes the source of your deepest pain?

In this episode, I open up about the red flags I ignored — like being left completely alone just two days after giving birth… and finding out, eight months pregnant, that my partner had been arrested for possession and a hit-and-run.

At the time, I called it love. I called it loyalty. I called it “for better or worse.” But it was really control, chaos, and emotional manipulation disguised as care.

If you’ve ever questioned your reality or convinced yourself “it’ll get better,” this episode is for you.

💜 Failure Into Freedom is about finding your voice after losing yourself — and learning to recognize the warnings before they turn into wounds.

In the very first episode of Failure to Freedom, Katie Holt Lehrman opens her heart and shares the story behind the podcast. From the outside, her life looked perfect—but behind closed doors she faced red flags, manipulation, abuse, miscarriage, and heartbreak that nearly silenced her.

Through raw storytelling and scripture, Katie explains why she chose to walk away, how faith carried her, and why she felt called to create this space for others who need hope.

This episode is an introduction, a testimony, and an invitation: no matter your past, you are not defined by your failures. Freedom is possible.