314-(For your Holiday) The Harm of Fights & How to Recover

JUST in time for the holidays! Please listen to this before you have a blow-up with the people most important to you. I'll give you a lot of tools that you can implement immediately. (Warning: All of the scriptures below and in the episode are personalized to your spouse, but if you know you'll be seeing a certain someone who triggers you, put their name in there, too!) --- When I look at scriptures like... Phil 2:3 “Do nothing towards [your spouse] out of selfish ambition or strife but value [your spouse] above yourself.” “Care not of your interests but care about the interests of [your spouse].”    That's kind of a knock in the face needed to stop always thinking about ourselves, isn't it? And don't most of our marital fights start because that's the only one we're thinking about?   I just wonder if we'd be proud of ourselves if a transcript of the last fight was read from the pulpit on Sunday.   But...you may be thinking about when your spouse comes at you with... -Untrue accusations... -Totally, self-centered criticisms... -Immature and discouraging complaints... What are you supposed to do?   That's what I'm going to help you see in today's conversation.  Here's the summary if you can't listen in right now... 1 - Have a daily prayer time for your spouse & a daily time in the Word so your heart and mind are shaped by God's leadership. [Enter negativity from spouse] 2 - Wait.  3 - Could there be something you don't understand that is why they are reacting that way? 4 - Compassionately circle back after emotions have calmed and listen to understand, not to respond. 5 - [Several other things I include in the podcast] 6 - Witness God do amazing things.   In this episode, I also teach you how to personalize the Bible so it helps you with your marriage. And how to get started loving this book (even if it feels like a chore now).   Suffice it to say that God cares about what comes out of our mouths. Here's another motivating scripture...   Prov 12:18 -- “Your reckless words pierce [your spouse] like swords.”    Yikes! Let's let that word picture motivate us to hold our tongue! Start at home, because that's your most important human assignment. The person you can harm or heal the most.    The final part of Prov. 12:18 “...your tongue -- if you are wise -- brings healing to [your spouse].”    Isn't that what we want, everyone around us to be healed? Is us "being right" more important than their healing?   When this habit is strong with our spouse, it impacts our habits with our kids, our extended family, our friends, our work, our light in the world...  Everyone.    I pray that this encourages you to be the peacemaker in your home - as that is what God, through His Word, asks of you. Blessings, Belah   PS - Get the help you need by speaking to a Clarity Advisor (a $300 value) for free here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc  A recent grad from the Masculinity Reclaimed course said, "Thanks for changing my life and my marriage in ways I didn't even think needed changing." PPS - I've got a ton of free resources if you haven't yet checked them: delightyourmarriage.com/free