Episode 661: Givers & Takers

Synopsis

"Givers Gain" does not mean that you should expect an immediate financial return from giving. It means that given enough effort and time, your generosity will be returned by and through your network of contacts many times over.

"Givers Gain" also does not mean that you should be a Taker's victim. Give freely to those who value a giving approach to life. Use discernment to avoid the ones who do not.

If you have given several referrals to a fellow BNI member and not received any, schedule a 1-2-1 and come prepared with as much detail as possible about the referrals you passed to that person. Go through these referrals and asked how they turned out.

If none of those referrals turned into business, ask how you can give better referrals.

If any of those referrals turned out to be good and turned into business, tell the person that you're really glad that they worked out. Pause before asking how you can make it easier for them to refer people to you. Be specific about what makes a good referral for you and how to refer you to their clients and contacts.

One BNI member reported to Dr. Misner that he'd tried this technique and gotten a great referral from the other member within a very short time.

Share your stories about the conversations you've had with fellow members about the referrals you've given them and how those worked out.

Complete Transcript of Episode 661

Priscilla: Hello, everybody, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast. I'm Priscilla Rice, and I'm coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. I'm joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello, Ivan, how are you today? Ivan: I am doing fantastic, Priscilla, thank you very much. Today's topic I call "Givers and Takers." It obviously revolves around the philosophy of Givers Gain. Givers Gain is about giving to other people first, it's a standard that you should apply to yourself, not a stick that you hit other people with. Within this context, the giver cannot and should not expect an immediate return on their investment based on Givers Gain. What they should focus on is that, given enough effort and time, their generosity will be returned by and through their network of contacts, friends, colleagues, fellow BNI members many times over and in many different ways. I incorporated the philosophy of Givers Gain® into BNI 35 years ago because I saw that many networking groups were just far too mercenary in their approach. They use face to face networking or in person networking as a face to face cold calling opportunity. I believe then, and I know now, that networking is all about relationship building, and that one of the best ways to build a relationship is to help others first. Through giving, you can gain in so many different ways. I also recognize that there are takers in the world. And I wanted to do this podcast because every now and then I have someone say to me, "I'm dealing with somebody who I think is just in it for them and they're not giving." So I recognize that there are takers in the world, there are people who either don't understand the power of Givers Gain or who don't really care or believe in the concept. The people who either don't care or don't believe, I put into two categories "Can't Do's" and "Won't Do's", which I've talked about a few times on the podcasts. The Can't Do's in this context, just don't know how to do something or they don't understand why it's important to do something. For these people, I've learned that with the right coaching, they may become willing to make that transition. Then there are the people who are the Won't Do's. They just want what serves them best and have no intention of giving. It's important to recognize them as soon as possible, because they will abuse the relationship, not nurture it. So, the point here is that life, and certainly your BNI chapter, requires discernment. Sometimes,