Giving Grace – TPW262

What does it mean to give grace to others (or yourself) and how can we do it?

Grace, compassion, and productivity

At the end of every episode, I encourage you to extend grace to others and to yourself. I've been thinking a lot lately about what that means: what grace is, why it matters, and how we can extend it.

It's a concept I think is important, and as a result, I think it's important that we're on the same page on what we're talking about.

What is grace?

One definition of grace is 'simple elegance or refinement of movement.' Another is 'courteous goodwill.'

In the Christian faith, grace refers to 'the free and unmerited favor of God,' and whether you follow Christian beliefs or not, this definition has some value in what we're talking about today.

In the work I do as a real estate lawyer, the term "grace period" comes up a lot, and this refers to "a period officially allowed for payment of a sum due or for compliance with a law or condition, especially an extended period granted as a special favor."

Another definition I love is "a disposition to kindness and compassion."

The origin of the word grace comes from Middle English via Old French from the Latin word gratia, which means thankful. The term grace is related to grateful.

Think about that for a moment.

Synonyms of grace are blessing, courtesy, decency, manners, politeness, decorum, respect, favor, approval, approbation, acceptance, esteem, regard, respect, and goodwill. So, when I say extend grace to one another, I am saying extend favor to one another.

When I googled the word grace, most of the references talked about it in the context of the Christian faith: God’s grace to us being his unmerited favor. These articles talk about the difference between mercy and grace, where mercy is not giving a punishment that’s deserved, and grace is giving favor or blessing that is not deserved.

People of faith believe God has extended grace to us, and this creates an obligation to extend it to others. Even if you embrace a different faith, the concept still applies.

Grace does not mean excusing or ignoring fault or failure or bad behavior. Grace requires us to look at the recipient with compassion (which is defined as sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others).

When we are asked to extend grace to someone else, we are giving them favor or approval they haven't earned. In order to do that, we're going to have to look at that person with compassion, sympathy, and concern for their sufferings and misfortunes.

I think the quote above is a great example of what compassion calls us to do: to remember that we don't know what's going on in the life of a person who we believe doesn't deserve our approval or grace.

In order to extend grace to someone who is rude to us, for example, we're going to have to look at them with compassion and recognize that we don't see the whole story.

I believe the focus of grace should be on what we're giving rather than what the other person deserves.

The point here is regardless of what another person may do, we can choose to extend grace. There may still be consequences for their behavior, but it doesn't have to move in and live in our hearts. Grace is something we can generate on purpose out of compassion.

Why develop compassion in your life?

So why does it matter? Why do I talk about grace and compassion on a podcast about productivity?

Largely because, as we often say in The Productive Woman community, productivity is about more than getting stuff done, it's about making a life that matters. And the impact on our own life of developing the compassion required to extend grace is immeasurable.