E523 Going Deeper with Dr. Maya Shankar - Keeping New Year’s Resolutions With Science

Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files, Going Deeper Edition! Today we are joined by cognitive scientist and creator of A Slight Change In Plans, Dr. Maya Shankar. Before getting into the interview, we first get a quick update on GMA’s TJ and Amy’s relationship status, the recent info released about the Idaho murders, Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper getting banned from drinking on New Year’s Eve, and speculate on what they hope to learn from Anderson Cooper’s upcoming interview with Prince Harry. We then dig deep with Dr. Maya Shankar, talking about the best ways to set and hold yourself to New Year’s Resolutions. We talk about framing goals to be motivating and if it’s better to start something or quit something.. We also discuss the “empathy gap” between your present self and future self, and integrating slack into your goals. Dr. Shankar explains what she learned from having parents in a successful arranged marriage, the science of quitting, and why it’s important to tolerate boredom when structuring goals. We also talk about using novel experiences to break patterns in a relationship, and how “temptation funneling” can help you accomplish your goals. We then welcome our Texting Office Hours caller who recently matched with someone on Hinge who is extremely allergic to dogs. Our caller, having a dog herself, wonders if this is a dealbreaker or if she should try to give this guy a chance.  “How would a cognitive scientist write their wedding vows?”  If you are interested in running a book club in your city, send an email to: [email protected]  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to our new email address [email protected] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  If you would like to get some advice on Office Hours send an email to [email protected] with “Office Hours” in the subject line!  To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com Support a Local Bookstore: https://bookshop.org/books/don-t-text-your-ex-happy-birthday-and-other-advice-on-love-sex-and-dating-9798212185622/9781419755491 THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Modern Fertility: Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to http://www.ModernFertility.com/VIALL.  Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @drmayashankar See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.