Ticked Off Tuesday finds Jared raspy-voiced in Richmond after a blur of flights, posting up in a mall and relishing his wander-and-cookie ritual, then venting about middle seat life as a Delta Diamond and wishing for a literal sheriff badge to flash at clueless travelers. He rails against a candy shop that smelled like someone reheated lasagna instead of magic and whimsy, and a hotel check-in where two desk clerks gave him robot silence after his attempt at small talk when he’d finally removed his headphones to be human. Listener complaints include a coworker policing water bottles and microplastics like a morality cop, the nightmare of getting to LaGuardia on public transit, and a neighbor who tattles to the HOA instead of speaking directly about dogs running on a golf course. The kicker is a Chipotle decorated with fake construction tape that looked fully closed, sending a listener on an emotional roller coaster after a brutal day working with cancer patients.

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