S6E18: He Wants Me to Take a Polygraph w/ Melisa D. Monts

This week we're sharing advice on:   Update: Unstable stepmom trying to poison fiance's dadBoyfriend meeting with other girls on his days offLong-distance boyfriend delaying coming homeDating a friend's exDon't Blame Them: choosing a career  Change the name of Sir Francis Drake High School: https://www.change.org/p/tamalpais-union-high-school-district-board-of-trustees-change-sir-francis-drake-high-school-s-name   Follow Us! @meghanrienks www.instagram.com/meghanrienks  @sheisnotmelissa www.instagram.com/sheisnotmelissa @dontblamemepod  https://www.instagram.com/dontblamemepod/    Listen to ad-free on Stitcher Premium! For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code 'BLAME,' PLUS exclusive bonus episodes.   Affordable Therapy By State (Curated by Crissy Milazzo): www.tinyurl.com/y64kwdnf   

Need Advice? www.dontblameme.show Domestic Listeners Call: (310) 694-0976  International Listeners Send a Voice Memo To: [email protected]   … with as much detail as possible under 3 minutes! I'll do my best to share my wonderful words of wisdom. If you're under 18, please get your parent's permission. Advice is for entertainment purposes only, so you can't blame me if I screw up your life. I kid! My advice IS AMAZING.

- Want to WATCH this episode as well? Check out the YouTube channel:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9SMwL3ZgCUsD-yIDU_Zsqg/   Call 1: Hi Meghan and Melisa, I am twenty-three. I am a Cancer, gross, I know. My boyfriend is a Sagittarius, we're in a pretty new relationship. We've only been together for four months. So everything's been pretty good so far, but there is one issue that I have. Um, so I'll give you some background. He works really long shifts like eleven, twelve hours. So usually when we hang out it's him getting off of work at 11, midnight, him coming over we watch a movie or something and go to sleep which I understand because of his work schedule. Um, he does get two days off during the week. And so my issue is that in the four months we've been dating, we've probably hung out during the day like when the sun is out like maybe four times. We've probably got on like to quote unquote dates and it didn't really bother me at first but I kind of been thinking about it and on his days off I try to make plans with him, but he's usually got something else going on and it usually involves hanging out with another girl. He has a lot of friends that are girls and that's something that I knew from the beginning and it didn't really bother me because I trust him, but like for example the other night he went and smoked with this girl and they kinda just got outside and like watched the sunset for like four hours and it kind of just honestly made me like jealous that he's making those plans, type of plans with other girl, but when I try to make plans like that with him, he's always busy and it's like every time he has a day off he's doing something like that, another example he went and got like coffee and sat in a park with a girl for like an entire afternoon, and I brought it up to him, and he always says that he's going to make more effort to hang out with me during the day, but he never really does and I don't know how else to bring it up to him or what else to say, or if I'm just being crazy. So any advice would be appreciated. Thank you. I love you guys. Bye.   Call 2: Hi Meghan, Melisa, and anybody else who is listening, I am calling hoping to get an honest opinion on whether I am being unreasonable with my boyfriend. We're both 27 we've been together for five years, and we've been long distance for 4 and 1/2 of those years because his job requires him to be out of state, he needs experience that he can only get in certain places and I can't follow him or move with him, I have a steady job where we live and family to take care of here so me moving around with him has not been an option so we've just made it work long-distance. Lately because of the coronavirus, things have been kind of up in the air and he promised me in the beginning of this past year so the beginning of 2020 that he would for sure be home permanently by December / January of 2021 but then the virus happened and he didn't get the experience that he needed, couldn't get the experience that he needed, so now he's considering going back from January to May of 2021. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable by asking him not to do that I know that he made the promise not knowing obviously what would happen with coronavirus but I feel like I've put in my time you know being supportive of him, needing this experience and there's also no guarantee with the virus that he'll be able to get it then anyway so I just don't know if I'm being unreasonable he is very confident that he's going to get the experience and the money that he needs to start our life together, we talk about that all the time, we talk about how much fun we would have being married and raising kids and we agree on all of those fundamentals we want the same things but my timeline just looks a little bit different than his and I'm naturally an impatient person to begin with so ultimately I just want to hear somebody else's thoughts and feelings it has been a long road and I would hate to give up on a good guy but I also would hate to be waiting around forever so thank you so much in advance for any help that you can give I hope I gave enough detail but also a bonus points Meghan if you can guess my astrological sign and I promise I will call back and tell you if you were right and give you an update if I can get advice thank you so much!   Call 3: Hi Meghan and Melisa. I'm twenty years old going into my sophomore year of college and I'm a Leo. I'm in a bit of a pickle right now because one of my best friends from high school, we we reconnected over this past summer is she has dated this past guy who I'm actually still friends with but I've been kind of juggling these two friendships at the same time not to mention they dated about two years ago for about almost a year and broke up about a year ago. So it's been kind of a really messed up situation because basically I have become interested in this guy. He showed an interest in me and I had kind of tried to make sure that I didn't have any feelings for him because I didn't want to mess with my friendship with this girl, but he showed an interest and now we've opened up these weird feelings for each other and he asked me whether or not I'd be interested in like a friend with benefits kind of situation and not knowing really what to do at all. I decided to reach out to my friend and ask her because I'm a really honest person. I'm a really honest communicator. She's a Taurus by the way. He is a Pisces if that matters at all and basically I just wanted to have open communication with her and talk through it because I didn't want to hurt our friendship. And so I laid it all out on the line and she gave me the green light to go but and then she started to kind of flip that story and get a little bit angry at me later with other friends kind of reaching out getting a little bit angry and where it stands now is essentially I have realized I have had feelings for this guy and he has feelings for me, but I still don't want to mess up my friendship with this girl. So, my consciousness is telling me not to go for it, but my feelings are involved and so it's making it really hard to kind of decide what to do here. If I should definitely not date him cuz I don't want to mess with my friendship with her or if it's really too far at this point, and I've already messed with my friendship with her if I should just explore this because I do have feelings. So any help would be really appreciated. Please. I need to get out of this pickle. Thank you.   Call 4: Hello, Meghan, Melisa and potential guest. I'm needing some advice on how to handle a situation with my fiance. We've been together for three years and just the other - well, I guess it's been about three weeks now, he's been having symptoms of what I thought was a UTI but um, I guess it's not, he went to get tested for an STD and for UTI or whatever his results have come back that he doesn't have a UTI so his other results haven't come back yet, but he's pretty certain that it's going to be an STD. I have not been with anybody else in three years, he swears he hasn't either and I definitely believe it by the way he is acting towards me being accusatory that I've done something telling me that I'm going to take a polygraph test if it comes back positive for an STD and I've done a lot of research and I have seen where if you have had an STD before it could be lying dormant in your body and come back. I did have chlamydia before, my ex boyfriend gave it to me about four years ago and we went to get treatment but we never went to get back - we never went back to get retested. So is this a possibility that it could have came back and I could have now infected him? I had an ectopic pregnancy about two years ago. And I have through my research discovered that if you have pelvic inflammatory disease or you do have an STD that that could happen. So I'm obviously going to get tested as well go to the doctor and everything, but as far as reassuring my fiance that I haven't done anything and you know getting through this difficult time, what advice do you have for me? Because I don't want it to take a toll on our relationship. I don't want there to be any trust issues even though there is now. I just don't know what to do and then taking a polygraph test is crazy and I have anxiety. So I do worry about failing that even though I'm not guilty. I haven't done anything wrong. So I don't know. I just the only thing I can figure is that he I gave it to him. But because he did get tested two months after we were together though, and he was negative for STDs. So how could he get the negative after we slept together and then gotten it three years later and be positive. I just don't know. So any advice would be appreciated. Thank you so much.   Don't Blame Them: Hi, I'm calling for Don't Blame Them and this is in regards to the girl who, she currently works in the political office and she is interested in social media. However, she is considering a career in nursing and I just thought I can relate to this because I mean unlike her I don't have my bachelor's in political science or something in that range, but I did study political science for a year and I'm very interested in it. But I just realized my true passion was nursing and while nursing is a more stable job, everyone just assumes that nursing is just working at the bedside and working in a hospital all day every day, but that's not true, if she's looking for really great benefits and where I think that she can use her other degree in is public health. So public health nurses basically would go out into the community. And especially with her human and family development degree that she got I think that will really benefit and most of the public health departments. They work Monday to Friday nine-to-five  and they have state benefits because it's actually a state job so that would get great insurance. So I don't encourage her that, you know, although it's not her passion. She can definitely find a way to make it passionate for her. She can also get into policy-making which if you study as a BSN, you will take a policy development class and kind of learn the steps to see if you're interested in that as well. And you know, that's just my life to go for it. If you want to go for go for it. If you don't it's totally fine. Just do what makes you happy, but just know that if you are going to be a nurse, you don't have to be stuck in the hospital all day. All right that's it, bye! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/join/dontblameme See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. 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