Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

How Different Communication Styles, Alexythymia and Cognitive Empathy Can Impact Your Relationship- Thomas Henley

Listen Later

During this episode with Thomas Henley, the "Thoughty Auti" we begin our conversation talking about dating challenges and how to better understand how different neurology may have an impact on your dating relationships. If you are in a relationship and would like to skip the dating discussion it starts at about 12:30 and ends at about 35:25.

After we discuss dating, Thomas shares openly and honestly about the following topics:

  • Understanding your different communication styles.
  • The impact of misunderstanding and miscommunication.
  • Using emojis to understand "tone".
  • The way different thoughts are expressed and the impact of being direct.
  • Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.
  • Being patient and really trying to understand your partner.
  • Both partners may feel like they are not heard, understood or validated.
  • Alexythymia-difficulty noticing and categorizing your emotions.
  • The value of "explaining emotions", not just "expressing" them.
  • Difficulty regulating emotions.
  • Understanding that it may take your autistic partner a few hours, days or longer to know what they are feeling.
  • Cognitive empathy and the challenge with being able to give the response the other person needs.
  • If you're invested in your relationship, assume good intentions.
  • Saying exactly what you are thinking and feeling with no subtext.
  • Being patient, rather then making snap judgements.
  • Forgetting that your brains are different in the midst of conflict.
  • Understanding intimacy and sensory profiles.
  • The challenges of having lots of indirect communication with physical and sexual intimacy.
  • Feeling safe to communicate your intimacy needs.
  • Mental health challenges can impact intimacy.


    • The nuances of dating and on-line apps.
    • How the "Pick-Up Artists" are impacting dating.
    • Trying to make dating into something logical and scripted.
    • Not everyone has the social battery to go out in public, or start conversations with strangers when on dates.


      • You can e-mail Thomas Henley at: [email protected] and follow him on social media, listen to his podcast, or YouTube videos here.

      _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


      If you want to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: [email protected]

      ...more
      View all episodesView all episodes
      Download on the App Store
      Neurodiverse Love with Mona KayBy Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay
      • 4.4
      • 4.4
      • 4.4
      • 4.4
      • 4.4

      4.4

      45 ratings

      More shows like Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

      View all
      ADHD Experts Podcast by ADDitude

      ADHD Experts Podcast

      1,331 Listeners

      Sounds True: Insights at the Edge by Tami Simon

      Sounds True: Insights at the Edge

      1,847 Listeners

      10% Happier with Dan Harris by 10% Happier

      10% Happier with Dan Harris

      12,738 Listeners

      Neurodiversity Podcast by Emily Kircher-Morris

      Neurodiversity Podcast

      424 Listeners

      A Life of Greatness by Sarah Grynberg

      A Life of Greatness

      160 Listeners

      You Are Not Broken by Kelly Casperson, MD

      You Are Not Broken

      1,064 Listeners

      Two Sides of the Spectrum by Meg Ferrell

      Two Sides of the Spectrum

      228 Listeners

      Uniquely Human: The Podcast by ART19 Uniquely Human

      Uniquely Human: The Podcast

      416 Listeners

      Meet My Autistic Brain by The Autistic Woman™

      Meet My Autistic Brain

      304 Listeners

      The Neurodivergent Woman by Michelle Livock and Monique Mitchelson

      The Neurodivergent Woman

      138 Listeners

      At Peace Parents Podcast by Casey

      At Peace Parents Podcast

      351 Listeners

      AuDHD Flourishing by Mattia Maurée

      AuDHD Flourishing

      102 Listeners

      YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, MEd by Jodi Carlton, MEd, LLC

      YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, MEd

      28 Listeners

      Autistic After Hours by ashra

      Autistic After Hours

      124 Listeners