How do I explain this abuse to friends and family who don’t get it.

How do I tell them? People who I really want to understand it. I want them to know why I’ve done some of what I’ve done. I want to hear my side of the story. I want them to think better of me.

I understand that drive to explain it to others. You want them to know you. You want them to hear you. I am going to use a couple of analogies today, one to better explain why they just won’t get it and one that you can use in explaining it to them to a certain degree.

I will tell you now that you cannot truly explain this to someone who has never lived it. They won’t fully get it, not entirely. Can they sympathize with you? Yes, if they are empathetic people. But they still won’t entirely understand.

And they don’t have to. You have nothing to prove to anyone anyways. Please know that others are not going to get it, at least not entirely.

Remember, you do not owe an explanation to anyone. You have nothing to prove and do not need to defend yourself to anyone. It truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of you. Those who won’t show you empathy and compassion do not need your time in that way. That is their problem, not yours. Those who offer that emotional safety to you and give you the space to talk about it or not as you need, those are the ones to lean on.

For more information on our upcoming group sessions, please visit https://www.covertnarcissism.com/group-session

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I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

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Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

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