Game of Grow

How to Handle Rejection & Criticism in Entrepreneurship & Life - Episode 4

03.06.2019 - By Muoyo OkomePlay

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We back! Episode 4! Welcome back! Amazing news! Super exciting… we came out the gates strong and broke into the top 100 of all Business podcasts, getting as high as #98 in Business, as well as #56 in Marketing. We made the New & Noteworthy Podcast lists for both Business and Marketing. And all thanks to you guys Subscribing & Reviewing. Please continue, and don’t stop! So give yourselves a pat on the back. The movement is STRONG ….but at the same time, at the time of recording, we have about 30...34 reviews live, so a lot of you guys should not be patting yourselves on the back that much. We can do better. If you enjoy the content, let’s really work together and grow this thing. WE’re doing well and we can do a lot more well. I am working extremely hard to bring you a great product for free… and I really really believe in it. And I am truly grateful for those of you who are taking those few minutes out of the day to help us out. I guess this is a good analogy for the Game of Grow itself, or anything else in life worth accomplishing. We did the hard work and got started, which is a great thing. We got some early results. Now to get where we want to be, and where we can be, we need to do the work over a long period of time until we are operating on an elite level. This is true for podcasts, movements, careers, physical fitness, being a chef… you get the idea. It doesn’t happen overnight. ALSO Super exciting… I am hopping on a plane to Jamaica in the morning (this is Saturday night, at the time of recording) and I have been on my grind this evening because I had to make sure this episode was locked and loaded tonight so it can be ready for you first thing Wednesday morning…. And after this I need to pack and hopefully get a few hours of sleep It’s my wife’s birthday, and I’ll be joining her in JA…, so everyone head to Instagram and say @sidehustlepro, wishing you a happy birthday from @gameofgrow and I… or something like that. Shoutout to wifey Anyway! You are now listening to the Game of Grow Podcast and I’m your host, Muoyo Okome. Episode 4 of the most dangerous business podcast in the world! Grateful to have you all here listening today. You could be anywhere in the world, but you’re here with me, and I will never take that for granted, so I promise to give you all I’ve got and deliver as much value as I can, and give you some tools, some techniques, some ideas you can truly use to impact your business and your life. It doesn’t matter where you start or where you are right now. I know you can fill in the rest by now, right? Review of the Day Before we go to far… let’s hit the review of the day. This is of course the brief segment where I grab one of the recent reviews I like and feature it on the podcast, as a little way of saying thank you, and encouraging the behavior I love to see, that benefits us all in this movement. You subscribing to the podcast & reviewing the podcast, and indoctrinating your friends and relatives… these are the best tools we have to spread our message and help as many people as we can. So PLEASE subscribe and review. I know I keep saying it, but it really really helps. Today’s review comes from FC Hammer 718: “Like Mitch in Paid in Full, Muoyo loves the game and it shows. He’s breaking down the steps in order to win like him.” Big thanks to my brother FC Hammer 718. I hope that one didn’t go over your head… And if you haven’t watched the movie Paid in Full, that piece of fine cinema… wow, I am really sorry for you. Fun fact, Fritz was one of my 2 roommates in grad school, along with my brother Vlad, who is doing amazing things as an investor in the footwear world. Shoutout to him. FC was the best man at my wedding, and is also a podcaster. If you have interest in learning about the crypto, even if you don’t know a thing, you want to check out the Coin Gamma Podcast But anyway! So go ahead and subscribe and leave a review on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play… wherever you happen to be listening and perhaps I’ll be featuring you next on the Game of Grow Podcast! Today’s Topic So without further ado... And I had a completely different topic planned for you today, but while I was in the gym this morning (where I start my day most mornings) and this really hit me hard (while I was struggling through my final sets… didn’t get enough rest last night… it’s important) and I knew I needed to share it Today, we’re going to talk about why you don’t need a Grammy, and how this knowledge… how this concept can improve your business and your life. Let me tell you a quick story… You might have heard there was an event a week or so ago called the Academy Awards, aka the Oscars, and not too long before that was the Grammys… or vice versa, who knows? Now I don’t typically watch any of these shows because it’s just not my thing… I don’t get much enjoyment or entertainment out of it, I don’t care who is wearing what, it doesn’t affect my life or move move me towards any one of my goals, so for me it’s a waste of time (btw, I am not saying that YOU shouldn’t watch them. There is nothing inherently wrong… and I am not going to lie, I do get excited when I hear that one of my people won, that somebody I support won, just because I know it’s a big moment for them) But there is also another reason besides entertainment value that I thumb my nose at the award shows. As a kid, I did watch some of these shows, and after a while they all started to seem to me like some old, out of touch dudes in a room deciding which art was the best based on their taste, and their taste alone, no matter what anyone else thought or was going on in the real world. Seems like a crappy position to be in as an artist. Spend countless hours year after year of your life working on and honing your craft, only to have the decision of whether you are “worthy” come down to the opinion of some random dudes. And I really started to think to myself how often are we put in that position, or how often do we ALLOW ourselves to be put in that position in everyday life? Let me explain... Enter Drake... The day after the Grammys, I learned that Toronto’s own Drizzy Drake had said something I agree with, so here it is: "I want to let yall know that we're playing in an opinion-based sport, not a factual based sport. This is a business where sometimes it's up to a bunch of people who might not understand what a mixed raced kid from Canada has to say, or a fly Spanish girl from New York, or a fly brother from Houston." "If you have people who are singing your songs word for word, if you're a hero in your hometown, if there's people who have regular jobs who are coming out in the rain and the snow, spending hard earned money to buy tickets to come to your shows, you don't need this right here," (talking about his Grammy) "You already won." ...and that’s when the Grammy’s cut him off and cut to commercial Funny, right… but this is a business & entrepreneurial podcast. This is a personal development podcast. This is a podcast for ambitious people. Why on earth are we discussing the Grammys? I’ll tell you why… How often in our work or in our businesses, projects, side hustles (shoutout to the Side Hustle Pro podcast and my illustrious wife). How often in our work, in our businesses, projects, side hustles, or even in life do we get critical feedback or opinions from others on the outside looking in which hurts our feelings, or makes us feel less. We get upset, we get down, we get frustrated...  And then we want to spend all of this time trying to prove to this person (who usually is not even our customer by the way) that we are indeed smart, right, worthy, whatever… Sometimes we’ll even go into a funk. It’s all very much just like the Grammys. I want to encourage you not to do that, because you don’t need a Grammy to be validated. And I could stop right there and call it a day, but I want to give you a few more points to flesh this out. Feel free to take a pen and a pad and jot down some notes if you like Advice vs Counsel Anyone in the world can offer you can opinion or give advice, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with hearing them out. This is a good thing, mostly. But not everyone can give counsel. Counsel is wisdom backed by experience, which can only come from doing the thing. So when you get the piece of criticism or feedback from Person A, consider what qualifies them to give this advice, and whether they have done the thing that you are trying to do at a high level. Is it advice, or is it counsel? And I am not saying you can never gain wisdom from people not in your profession, but just make sure you’re taking that advice with a grain of salt and giving it the proper weight. A quick shortcut I like to use. Ask yourself… Would you trade places with the person giving you the advice? And then act accordingly. If the panel handing out the Grammys or the Oscars or whatever have not done what I want to do…. if they are not playing in the same game I am playing… why would I care one bit about their award or any criticism they had about me? You don’t need a Grammy. Do things that move you towards your goals My mentor in my head, Tom Bilyeu (his podcast Impact Theory is definitely worth listening to) has a saying which he says often… “Do and believe that which moves you towards your goals” and on the flipside “Do not do or believe that which moves you away from your goals” I liked this concept so much I included it in the App Mogul Mindset, which is a set of beliefs I share with all my App Moguls students. By the way if you’d like a copy of that for free, head to appmagic.co/imamogul and you can download it. There’s a printable PDF, a copy you can use for your phone, an editable copy, and some other fun stuff: appmagic.co/imamogul Invest in those who invest in you As humans, we all have a tendency to overfocus on the negative things that happen in our lives, our businesses, etc… even if there are a lot of positive things. I think this has to do with survival, with biology, etc. But this does not always serve us. There are probably a lot of people, or at least some people who enjoy your work and what you do. In most cases it’s going to be a better use of your time and energy to try to serve them at the highest level rather than trying to pander to some out of touch guys in a back room smoking cigars who don’t quite get it. You don’t need a Grammy. Nobody owes you shit While it would be amazing if everyone were universally nice, respectful, professional, and sufficiently aware of your abilities and awesomeness, the fact is that will never happen, and you don’t have any control over it. Even though all those things would be nice, you can’t expect them. Nobody owes you a damn thing and it does not serve you to allow their actions, even if they are rude, dismissive, uncalled for, whatever… to throw you off your game. Even if you are “in the right”, you are not serving your own interests and the things you want to accomplish by wasting time on people whose opinions frankly do not matter. As the great Tywin Lannister once said “A lion does not concern himself with the opinion of sheep” Especially if you are an entrepreneur or want to be an entrepreneur… but this really applies to anyone. You are 100% responsible for your life, your results, and where you are right now. People are going to do what they do and say what they say. Sometimes it will be mean, sometimes it will be hurtful, sometimes it will be dismissive. But you have to do your thing regardless… or at least you should. You don’t need their approval and you don’t need a Grammy. Use it, no matter what If they are right, use it to get better. If they praise you, feed off the positive energy. If they are wrong/spiteful/trying to hurt, use it as fuel. Negative critiques and negativity in general… or those that you perceive as negative (because sometimes that is not the intent) can be some of the most amazing fuel. Highly underrated. During his playing days, Michael Jordan would make up stories in his mind about how opposing players had wronged him, slighted him, or talked about his mama just so he could get fired up and perform at a higher level. Many other elite athletes do the same. I can remember so many instances in my life and career in which I’ve leveraged this kind of thinking. I still remember sitting in the office that cold January morning with my "assigned mentor", who I probably spoke to once a quarter if I was lucky... "It happens to us all, Muoyo. You think I haven't been passed over for promotions or treated unfairly? It's just something you have to learn to deal with", he advised... In that moment, at the very same time I nodded my head in agreement slowly, I realized that I could not agree less I thought to myself "Maybe YOU do, but that's not what I have in mind", and I made a decision. I said F this shit. Let’s GO. And I did. You don’t need a Grammy. Let the fact that they are rejecting you drive you to greater heights. And I could go into another example, and another one, and ANOTHER ONE… but let’s save some ammo for a future show. Why not, right? Alright… I want to bring this thing to a close by sharing with you one of my favorite quotes, from Theodore Roosevelt. I think you’ll see why in a minute. If you haven’t had the pleasure of hearing it before, this alone should be worth the subscribe, review, and tell a friend (hint, hint) The Man in the Arena "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." What’s left to say... Join us in the Game of Grow Community. That’s where we’ll be turning this into more of a discussion, and moving from theory to practice. Go to gameofgrow.com/community or you can search for game of grow community on facebook if you prefer. Make sure to sign up for the mailing list at gameofgrow.com, as I’ll have a lot of exciting things coming your way that you don’t want to miss out on. Question of the Day Which brings us to the question of the day…. Tell me about yourself Not really a question, I know, but I really want to know more about you, the people who are listening in. So hit me up at [email protected] or @gameofgrow on social and tell me a bit about who you are, what you’re working on, and that kind of thing. Whatever you want to share. Bonus question: Someone who listens to this podcast is a A) Grow Getter B) Grow Runner C) Growth Hustler D) Something else… you tell me. The Fee As always, guys… you know that we are constantly focused on spreading this message and bringing more people into the Game of Grow Community (by the way, gameofgrow.com/community takes you right there), so IF AND ONLY IF YOU GOT VALUE, for each episode where you got value, bring me back one like minded person who you know would enjoy this content… If you didn’t get value, You don’t have to do a thing. But if you got value, bring me back one person back for each episode where that’s true. You can even tell me about it and you’ll be a hero Alright… Enough of this And with that, I’ll see you guys back here real soon on the Game of Grow Podcast. If you’d like to hear more about the app business I described and how you can start to implement something similar, this episode was sponsored by my first book “The 7 Steps to App Success”. Super proud... 12 million downloads, 8 years of grinding, 7 months of writing & editing, and thousands of dollars of my own money later, it’s finally here…. 108 pages of app business education glory. And you can get it for wayyyy less. Head to appmagic.co/book and pick up your digital copy. Actually… you know what, let me read a little snippet for you to give you a free taste. This comes from my Acknowledgement section of the book, which I happen to be super proud of... I recently read a Twitter status which started: “My parents were tasked with the job of survival and I with self-actualization. The immigrant generation gap is real.” My parents arrived in the United States in 1981 as grad students from Nigeria with two ugly yellow suitcases and a bad check from a so-called family friend who had purchased their car. Through their hard work and sacrifices, they proceeded to build a life full of possibility for my brother and I, teaching us that anything is possible through positivity, learning, and relentless work, all while keeping a sense of humor and playfulness (and preparing delicious Nigerian food). I’ll never forget it or take anything in my life for granted. Thank you to my late grandma, who taught me “Hard work does not kill. It is poverty that kills,” and many other pieces of Yoruba wisdom she not only spoke of, but lived by; to my students and clients, whose success means the world to me, who have enabled me to clarify, refine, and distill my thoughts on what it takes to build an app-based business; to the App Magic team and our amazing partners, who I love working and learning with in the trenches every day; and to the many entrepreneurs who have paved the way, including mentors such as Trey Smith, Zeb Jaffer, Carter Thomas, and Chad Mureta, as well as others who have taught and inspired me from afar, such as Tom Bilyeu, MJ DeMarco, Reginald Lewis, and the list goes on and on. Thanks also to my editor and friend, Angela Clements Johnson, who has spent many long hours helping shape my very raw thoughts into a truly useful resource we can all be proud of, that will go on to help many people. And last but certainly not least, thank you to my beautiful wife, Nicaila Matthews Okome, whose always direct and timely feedback I have come to trust and rely on, and who has encouraged and pushed me every step of the way. I promise we’ll take more vacations. So go get your copy at appmagic.co/book, learn some amazing things, and support our illustrious show. For everything else: to sign up for the mailing list, join the Game of Grow Facebook Community, connect with us on social, to send me an email… check out gameofgrow.com, and it’s all right there… Remember…It’s not about where you start. It’s about where you want to go, who you want to become and the price you’re willing to pay to get there. Be honest, though… we gotta win the Oscar for best theme song. Am I right? DJ drop that beat and take us out...   This episode is sponsored by my first book, "The 7 Steps to App Success".  12 million downloads, 8 years of grinding, 7 months of writing & editing, and thousands of dollars of my own money later, it’s finally here…. And you can get it for wayyyy less. Head to appmagic.co/book and pick up your digital copy, in its 108 pages of glory.   Stay connected with the movement: Join the Facebook Community: gameofgrow.com/community Instagram: instagram.com/gameofgrow Facebook:facebook.com/gameofgrow Twitter: twitter.com/gameofgrow LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/muoyo To sign up for our weekly email updates visit us at gameofgrow.com

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