How to Navigate Life Change (Even if You’re Not Crazy about the New Life)

Are you in the middle of a big life change? Or still adjusting to an old life change? Change can be difficult, even when it’s positive. Yet so many life changes don’t feel one bit positive. Here are  just a few of the life changes we go through:

* A move

* Change of occupation: new job, loss of old job, career change, beginning college, etc.

* Engagement or marriage

* Divorce or separation

* Natural disasters and pandemics such as Covid

* Death of a loved one

* Serious illness, disease, or injury

* Children leaving home

* Retirement of yourself or a spouse

Since I’m experiencing my own life change at the moment (my husband just became a travel physical therapist and we’ve left our home of 30 years to travel around the country doing physical therapy and writing), I thought it might be helpful to do a podcast/blog post on how to navigate major life change. Following are a few things I’m trying as I enter this new season of life.

10 Tips to Navigate Life Change Well

Recognize that it’s hard. So often we say things like, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” or “Buck up, Buttercup!” And while I’m a big fan of that latter phrase, it’s helpful to realize that it’s not surprising that we’re struggling. Even a happy occasion like marriage can cause adjustment problems. We’ll do better if we admit to ourselves that yes, this is an adjustment, and yes, it’s hard.

Have realistic expectations for the process and give yourself grace. If you recognize it’s hard, you’ll be more likely to give yourself grace. Beating yourself up for not adjusting quickly enough isn’t helpful. I’ve found that if I have realistic expectations for how long something takes—whether it’s a task on my to-do list or an adjustment to a new situation—I’ll be less likely to get worried, depressed, or beat myself up.

Work on making this new life the best life possible—put time and effort into it. Often, we complain about how hard life is, but we do nothing to change it. Instead, we expect it to get better over time. While this does sometimes happen, we’ll have much more success if we put some effort into making it better. The rest of these tips will give you ideas of how to make the best possible life.

Brainstorm ideas to make life better. When you’re in a new situation, you’re not an expert at that situation. Instead, you need to learn how to be joyful in this new life. Take a list and brainstorm different ways to make it better. Talk to a friend, mentor, or loved one. Visit with someone who’s been in this situation to see how they handled it. Then circle a few things from the list to try.

Join a support group or get involved in a community ASAP. When we moved to our first travel assignment in Santa Fe, the first thing we did was to find a church. We tried two churches in one day and found one we loved. We visited with people in the church, and I mentioned that it was hard to leave our community in Hamilton, Montana. This led to one couple inviting us to a home group and now we have instant community–a group of wonderful people to fellowship with. If your life change is traumatic, look for a support group in your area of others who are going through a similar trial.

Dwell on the good. My tendency is to dwell on the good of the old life and the bad of the new life! This is not helpful! It’s easier to dwell on the good if you have a positive life change, but it can be incredibly difficult with a traumatic life change. That said, God can bring good from any situation. A bad situation is a perfect “opportunity” to develop a thankfulness habit, grow closer to God, and practice dwelling on the good...