How to Stop Being Angry – 12 Tips

Do you ever get irritated with friends who believe differently than you do about politics or Covid? Do you get annoyed with the faults of a spouse or family member? Do you get frustrated with people who drive at a different speed than you drive? If so, today’s post and podcast will help. We’ll be discussing how to stop being angry. Before we do that, though, let’s look at what anger is.

What is anger?

When I first started helping people let go of anger, I discovered people have different definitions for anger. Many picture anger as the person who is yelling and swearing, but anger is more than that. It also includes resentment, irritation, annoyance, and frustration. Often we stuff feelings of anger because we feel bad about it. But if you stuff those emotions for too long, you may not even know you’re angry.

How do you know you’re angry?

If you’re used to stuffing or denying your anger, it will be hard to spot it in the beginning. Look for times when you feel out of sorts. Then think back to the last few hours. Did something just happen to upset you? Did you read something on the news? A post on social media? Did someone say something hurtful?

Ask yourself, “What emotion am I feeling?” This will help you begin to recognize your emotions. Anger, resentment, irritation, frustration, and bitterness all fall into the category of anger. Judgement and pride are accompanying emotions.

What causes anger?

Have you ever been in a situation where you were angry and your friend wasn’t? Even though you were both witnessing the same thing happening? We all get angry at different things because of our different life experiences, beliefs, and personalities. If we know why we’re angry, it will be easier to stop being angry. Begin by asking yourself, “Why am I angry?” Here are a few reasons we get angry, irritated, annoyed, or resentful:

* We think we’re right–and get mad at all those wrong people out there.

* We think others need to make us happy–and get mad when they don’t.

* We think life should be easy–and get frustrated when it’s not.

* We think we shouldn’t have to suffer–and get mad when people expect us to do things that are hard.

* We compare our strengths to other’s faults–and get mad when they’re not more like us.

* We care too much about what others think–and get mad when they don’t give us enough praise or affirmation.

* People we love do scary things–and our fear comes out as anger.

* People we love say and do things to hurt us–and our pain comes out as anger.

* Politicians do things we think will harm people or destroy our way of life–and our fear comes out as anger toward both the politicians and all the people who follow them.

Is anger bad?

Any time I teach on anger in a Bible study, I’ll always have at least one person in the room bring up righteous anger. The idea is that there are good forms of anger and bad forms of anger. The problem is that even if there are good forms of anger, we engage in the bad form 95% of the time. So rather than defend ourselves for the 5%, we’re better off if we work on the 95% of unrighteous anger!

It’s true that God is angry in the Bible at times and since we know God never sins, we know it’s possible to be angry and not sin. But Romans 3:10 tells us that “none is righteous, no not one.” So my question is, can an unrighteous person have righteous anger? That question is up for debate and people will answer it in different ways.

One of the ways people answer it is to point out how you need righteous anger to right all the wrongs in the world–to hel...