Many women struggle with intrusive thoughts about their husband’s past

And over the years, I’ve received thousands of emails from women troubled by their husband’s past—a syndrome commonly known as “retroactive jealousy.”

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The range of symptoms and emotions these women describe vary widely—from feeling “obsessed” or “consumed” by their husband’s past, others who are questioning their partner’s values, and others who have no questions about their husband’s values, but who simply “can’t stop thinking” about his past.

Each and every email is different—however, over several years working on jealousy related issues, certain patterns have emerged. 

One pattern I’ve noticed among women who are troubled by their husband’s past, is that most of them don’t question their husband’s values, necessarily.

Instead, these women are often haunted by the love their husband once shared with another woman, or, the presence of “past connections” (ie. children, stepchildren, or ex-partners) in their husband’s present.

Many of these women realize that what they’re feeling is irrational, however, that doesn’t change the fact that they can’t stop thinking about their husband’s past, no matter what they try.

Many of these women are at the same time grappling with some sense of insecurity relating to their husband’s past.

Perhaps they worry that the connection they currently share with their husband isn’t as “special” or remarkable as a certain connection from her husband’s past. 

Sometimes, these women don’t feel as sexy, desirable, or attractive as women from their husband’s past. 

Other times, these women are simply consumed by “little moments” from her husband’s past—such as certain vacations, events, or other scenes or scenarios from her husband’s past which haunt them.

When it comes to struggling with your husband’s past, there is an enormous amount to dig into. There are so many issues at play here, so much self-interrogation to undertake.

So what will follow is a highly abbreviated strategy to start overcoming your husband’s past.

If you’d like to learn more, I host a premium video course called “Get Over Your Partner’s Past Fast” which explores all of these issues in far greater depth.

The course has helped hundreds of wives around the world overcome retroactive jealousy, and get past their husband’s past.

But for now, this should give you something to get started.

So here are a few suggestions for beginning to overcome your husband’s past.

#1) Trust your husband, and his word—until he gives you a reason not to

My mother often used an expression: “trust somebody until they give you a reason not to trust them.”

This does not mean that we should never forgive people who breach our trust. We’re all human, and we all make mistakes.

Instead, what I took this expression to imply is that we should give ourselves permission to trust our loved ones, give them the benefit of the doubt, and learn to let down our guard a bit. 

Jealousy, obsession, paranoia,