Just a little insider look at what is usually going through my head during the making of an episode and a quick Thank You!

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i just recorded an episode i don't

really even know what i'm gonna call it

yet but it's about

being authentic

and

i just wanted to record something

because

usually i take a bunch of notes and

i'm just sitting here i i had like this

one little fleeting thought on my way to

my mom's for for mother's day and i'm

like

you know i don't have to brag to get

respect

and and the reason why i was thinking

about that is because it's something i

heard at church and

about you know just being who you are uh

broken and all you know

and so i just all this stuff started

flashing up and but i didn't really have

anything concrete to put in my notes and

so i'm like god just please speak

it's like lord just

i don't know what i'm gonna say i don't

know

how it's gonna sound i just i just want

to share it

and and that that was my prayer

i was like just to speak

i just want to share what this concept

this realization that i had or that i've

been having and i hit record you know

and by the end of it

i think i haven't even edited it yet but

i think it was what needed to happen you

know i think it's where it needed to be

and

i got a little excited which you know

excited for me is is kind of low-key i'm

like

you know i'm always really

really even-toned and everything um

so i'm praying i'm like god thank you

because i think that was awesome and

i hope i didn't take it

over the top with my self-will and

i don't know i wanted to record this

little snippet because

there's a lot of doubt that goes into

doing this a lot a lot of doubt and

i don't i don't even

know how to describe it

like i know that i'm doing something

that needs to be done i know that

that people have told me that i have

things to say that are good sometimes

and

but at the end of the day i'm like

gosh is this really does anybody really

even want to hear this

and and i know that's not true you know

the numbers prove me wrong when that but

still

you know talk about

authenticity when i don't even really

know what i'm doing

all i know is that sometimes i hit

record

and i say a few things and people

say that they really enjoyed it

and so

i catch myself praying kind of the same

prayers all the time

god i don't know what i'm going to say

but help me say something

and then at the end i'm like woo that

was good

and then i'm then i have that immediate

moment where i'm like

oh now you're getting conceited you know

you need to just

tone it down

probably gonna have to delete half of

that because you got excited and whatnot

and

there's just there's so much there i

don't even know what i'm trying to say

but

i'm really glad that i have the support

that i have from you guys and and i just

thank you

thank you for

everything for letting me be me and uh

and continuing to come back and to keep

listening

if you haven't already find me on

facebook it's victorious in recovery

or on instagram

on twitter it's victorious ir

reach out you know send me a message

if you have any ideas for an episode let

me know i'll definitely look into it

thank you again

y'all have a good one

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