David Waldman gives us a few more things to think about, laugh about, get kind of grumpy about, on today’s KITM.

Guess what? Dr. Greg Dworkin says America’s got a fever! And the only prescription... is more F-bombs! Covid “alarmists” were closer to the truth than anyone else. (IMO, “alarmist” has been pretty much the way to go for around a decade.) DOGE douches unplugged our healthcare ventilator and were surprised after the heart wouldn’t reboot. Oops! Ebola prevention was shut off… There! Fixed, good as new… They weren’t in America, anyhow.

Speaking of Americans, Billions in professional services contracts in Veterans Affairs were to be cut for… whatever. Then someone checked into it and discovered that they were doing some really important stuff there. Who’d guess that so many consequential things would be actually happening? Elon will have to check in with “DataRepublican”, the new Q of MAGA, more often. 

Whatever your problem is, Elon Musk has got just the thing to fix it. DOGE noticed that the FAA misspelled “Verizon” on their contracts and helpfully corrected it to “Starlink”. You’d be amazed at how many uses Starlink can fulfill.  And best for Elon, they each can be turned off at any time, no problem! Even so, for some reason, many in Washington feel pwnd by Musk, as do a lot of others.

Speaking of trolls, who are also rapists, human traffickers and child pornographers, Andrew Tate and his brother are arriving in the US, and will probably be Medal of Honor recipients by mid-March. Election denier, rabid insurrectionist toady Paul Ingrassia is now Trump’s guy at Homeland Security.

Tariffs on Mexico and Canada will go into effect March 4 as scheduled because Donald K. Trump isn’t becoming re-glued and re-hinged anytime soon. As this our Axis forms, is it patrimonialism supported by anarcholibertarian capitalists or just morons in the moment?