Gluttons for punishment or eternal optimists? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back, and so are you!

Be on the lookout! Someone has stolen 100,000 eggs, and the suspect is still at large... grade A, extra-large!

Alas, there are worse cartoon supervillains on the loose. Elon Musk is attacking his enemies, USAID and USA, while his chief henchman Trump finally breaks the Senate, orders America to check the undies of 9-year-olds, weaponizes government against the first female Coast Guard commandant, and pours billions of gallons of water into the sewer while looking into the eyes of drought-ridden farmers. Trump can’t find enough people here to set on his trail of tears, so he hopes to add Gazans. Democrats have yet to solidify around a solution, as most of the good solutions might be considered felonies.

Democracy is down, but maybe not out. Most people don’t like what’s happening, if that matters anymore. Gops don’t like Musk, but who does? And what just happened with Trump’s tariff strategy? Trump and paperwork, man! But then again, his boss Musk has some crafty little ones working for him. They were born into the age of trolling. Their entire life has been a black mirror, for them all reality is fungible. For them, all truth is no more or less than an internet poll. All those numbers and names are just data, bro.