David Waldman answers the pressing questions of today, accompanied in close harmony by Greg Dworkin.

It sure is a great time to be a jackbooted thug in America. Soon there will be more prison camps than Super 8s. Experts warn that deportations threaten the US food supply. Farmers say that too. MAGA farmers could have sworn that Trump was only talking about the more “metropolitan” immigrants, but it turns out that this administration’s plans are a bit more ambitious.

In anticipation of the future high demand for thugs, the President tapped his strategic Jan. 6 reserve, releasing 1,500 back into the wild in hopes that they multiply. Non-thug Americans disprove of this, especially those who met any of them. Gops promise to restock the prisons as soon as possible. 

Ein Hitlergruß ist ein Hitlergruß ist ein Hitlergruß, but as you’d expect, saying that in English in American media is positively verboten.

“Will no one rid me of this meddlesome Bishop Budde?” pled Trump II to his subjects recently. Trump is probably at the peak of his popularity, thus the peak of his power, probably, maybe.

Tech Broligarchs dream like no bro has dreamt before, of a radical future utopia where they can raise themselves high above those less forward thinkers, bringing along their portly merchants, muscular warriors… but no DEI hires!