David “Golden Voice” Waldman mellifluously orated us through the week and off the ledge. We’re on our own now, but first:

President Why Don’t You Just is out there just getting things done every minute. What things? Why? Don’t ask him, he doesn’t know and doesn’t care. He has staff for that. But Trump, like any boss will tell you, is the only one getting things done around here. That’s why he’s ordering all the lazy good-for-nothing remote workers to get their asses back to office where someone can assistant manage them. There! His boss part is done, the rest is just details.

On to California to find out why don’t they just turn on the big water tap so people can flush their toilets on the fire? They could they just put immigrants on the fire line and… what? Details! What matters is that a lot gets done, whatever that might be.

As long as things just get done, we can always go back and make corrections. Like the two DC cops who chased that kid with their SUV until he was run over. Pardon the cops, and as for the kid… That’ll buff right out.

Must bosses think of everything? It’s up to teachers across the nation to figure out what to tell their children when an automatic weapon toting stranger enters a classroom and schoolmates disappear forever… and when that stranger wasn’t sent by the Feds.

Wielding government to annihilate woke weaponized government is tricky business. Might need to crack a lot of eggs to make that omelet. The Leopards Ate My Face party will sometimes have to accept that a certain number of faces will be eaten by leopards.

Lauren Boebert went to check the genitalia of someone in the restroom and came up empty handed.

Andrew Puzder’s wife beating kept him from being labor secretary in 2017, but now he will be EU ambassador. Now, there’s probably nothing in the way of him beating his wife.

Several congressional Gops were happy to attend Cassidy Hutchinson’s Jan. 6 testimony and texted her with details on how they would like to show her their happiness. Mike Johnson had to send his son an emergency boner alert.