David Waldman is back again plowing through another KITM cold bedraggled, and as all of us, undermedicated for the task at hand.

David was out with this cold on Friday, and I wrote a summary to an imaginary KITM. The summary to that summary: Tech bros created Spanish language dialect sensitive AI chatbots algorithm linked to young male Latino social media accounts based on what countries they follow in soccer, or any other niche criteria. They then had disinformation and conspiracy theories tailored specifically to them, but with the ultimate goal being GOTV for Donald Trump. Or to sum up that summary, while we were door-knocking, they were TikTokking.

So, President Donald Trump was… look, all that takes more typing than he’s worth. I’m going with D this term. D’s dictating his cabinet. No Hulk Hogan or Kid Rock, but he might be thinking SCOTUS with them. Susie Wiles will head up Apartheid when Elon’s busy and otherwise will be the focus of media fluff pieces on her grandmotherly charm. Elise Stefanik and Marco Rubio will… Wait, don’t they hate D? Doesn’t he hate them? Sure, they all hate each other. Never Trumpers are just Trumpers who haven’t been assigned a position yet.

Which brings us to Jonathan V. Last and the Bulwark, who urge us to let the Reich be the Reich, those things historically burn themselves out in around 4 years or so, no worries. Kevin Roberts, chief architect of Project 2025, hasn’t found a Reichstag to burn, but does have an otherwise well-rounded list of incendiary targets. Roberts has named the Boy Scouts and Loudoun Schools, but conspicuously snubbed David Waldman for his pyre. Schools urge parents to be more sympathetic to the sexual harassing children. Black people are urged to pick cotton.

Vladimir Putin is itching to take his new country out for a test drive, after all he was promised 24-hour delivery. The Russia-Ukraine war will be over in a day… that is, if no one else objects. Russian TV broadcast images of Melania Trump nude with the United States Seal behind her. If you want a picture of Melania with a Navy Seal behind her, it’ll cost you extra.

Judge Juan Merchan delayed his immunity decision in the NY hush money case, because, why not?

Phil Williams, who we needed 500 more of the last ten years, has joined Bluesky.