David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are on the air today with a new KITM, instead of quietly slipping across the border, a development that can only be interpreted to portend positively.

Have you heard? Pollsters actually receive paychecks for what they do! Now, now... Nates do work hard… to explain and rationalize their previous errors. But pollster Ann Selzer ain’t no Nate. Yesterday, Selzer startled the rest of her herd with the release of a poll showing a Kamala lead in Iowa! Perhaps Iowans woke up and decided to not be extremists, or perhaps it was women voters... Maybe it was the youth vote, or maybe the youths talking sense into the olds. The last-minute surge might signify some hard decisions, or some easy ones finally being made. Already, some of the polling herd is beginning to sidle up. Who knows the real why, but it does feel pretty good.

It also could be that Gops and Trump are demented MFers and voters are tired of giving them any more chances, money, or pity. Elon Musk has been overestimated for the millionth time. Lucky for him, Elon does have a buffer of several billion more. Over on the same end of the spectrum, RFK Jr. is planning to safeguard the nation’s precious bodily fluids, including our two most precious: Mountain Dew and mayonnaise. Calgary turned off the fluoride and now will invest millions to turn it back on again.

Donald Trump sure does look like he’s going down, however his troops might not have received the news. It’s not election day yet and they’re brandishing machetes, punching little old ladies, and blowing up drop boxes… not exactly unexpected. Donald has a few lawsuits cooking already with CBS and the Washington Post, which are heading to his first or second favorite judge, Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk. NBC, feeling good after landing a cameo by popular TikTok phenomenon Kamala Harris, is now throwing Donald a bone: TV King for 90 seconds.

RIP to this election’s Harambe, Peanut the Squirrel.