Happy Halloween! Even David “Wooooo” Waldman and Greg “Disquieting” Dworkin can’t scare us any more than we already are.

For Halloween, Donald Trump appeared in Wisconsin sporting his unwiped butthole face accessorized by a reflective vest and came so tantalizingly close to falling on his head before taking a ride in a garbage truck… in the front this time. Garbage-Man, Garbage-Man! Toss him into that garbage can. Blocking peen, any size, MAGA eats it up, just like flies! Look out! Here comes the Garbage-Man!

But wait… what do the polls say? They say it’s a close one, and about 10 people’s votes will count. Ah, but which 10 is now the question, eh? It’s time for some 19th Amendment solutions for our problems. More than half of us will vote before election day, with some surprising niches backing Kamala Harris, like Arnold Schwarzenegger! Who knows who will pop up tomorrow, but they probably won’t be for Donald Trump.

KITM Senior Amenities Correspondent Darwin Darko is not positively Yelping the Kamala Harris Eclipse overflow space experience but figures it could be a sign of her campaign’s overperformance.

Kamala is getting a few Halloween treats, so Gops are working on some Mike Johnson tricks to even things out. Yet, they keep forgetting to leave the bag on the step when they light it on fire to run away. The Trump Supreme Court is fine tuning their voter disenfranchisement with 1600 voters tossed to them from Glenn Youngkin.

Want to see something scary? Check out this North Carolina superintendent race.