We watched Keeper (2025), the newest supernatural horror film from Osgood Perkins, and this one might be the slowest and most painfully boring horror movie of the year. In this episode we break down the trailer expectations, the visual style, the surreal editing choices, the endless water imagery, the confusing mythology, and why none of it pays off. We give you a full spoiler free review, then dive into the plot, creatures, and ending during the spoiler section. Our final rating for Keeper is a clear Don’t Bother.

If you enjoyed Longlegs, there is a chance this style may work for you. If you didn’t, consider this your warning.