Kick It With Donna episode 69

Do you ever have a hard time releasing resentment and anger?  My issues with abandonment from my mother go back a long way, but I had an issue with my dad too.  I’ll share how I overcame and found peace.

Show notes:  My mother and father were raised Catholic.  Neither one of them were church goers.  I was baptized in the Catholic church.  My brother was born eighteen months later and was not.    During the time of my mother’s pregnancy, her sister came home with Born Again Christianity.  My mother dove deep into this.  This did not fly well in the family.  It wrecked havoc on the marriage.  My mother told my father that if he didn’t accept Jesus as his personal savior, he could no longer sleep in the same bed with her.   I’m assuming their sex life went into the trash.

My brother and I lived in a religious cage.  Our lives consisted of church, Sunday school, Youth Group, Vacation Bible School and memorizing the books of the Bible.  As hard as I tried, I could never get her admiration and acceptance for who I was.  The only way to please her was to beg, plead and cajole.  At the age of eighteen, I hightailed it out of her house.  To this day, we have no relationship. After becoming a mother myself, it made me angry and resentful that I didn’t have a mother to commiserate with, nor would my children have a grandmother.  I carried this resentment around  my whole life.  It was bigger than me.  I needed help releasing the resentment and finding peace.  How do you forgive someone who will never say “I’m sorry?"

I went to see a Ministry counselor for several months.  Being able to talk about my past really helped me open the wounds and address them.  I came to understand that she is who she is and I am not responsible for her actions.  She also gave me a different perspective.  See your mother’s parenting as a gift.  If she had been the mother you wanted her to be, you would be different too.  You are who you are because of her. Those months of counseling helped me find that inner peace.  I can now talk about my mother without the angst I used to feel.  What a sense of freedom!

When my parents divorced, it was not fun times in my house.  My mother and I were like two bulls always butting heads.  I wanted to live with my dad.  He was recently married and I don’t think the wife was too excited about my arrival.  I loved my dad.  We just got each other.  No stress.  No game playing.  Living with him meant changing schools, making new friends and meeting the new wife’s family.  I would have stayed with him.  Unfortunately, after nine months of living there, my dad sat me down and told me it would be better if I went back to my mother.  I was rejected by my dad for his wife.  

At the age of twenty, my dad called me and said he was divorcing his wife.  He then said, “I heard you have a big house.”  This comment did not bode well with me. My dad and I didn’t speak for twenty seven years.  This was back in the day of no cell phones.  Through my brother’s daughter, I reconnected with my dad.  We picked up where we left off as if all those lost years didn’t matter.  His brother passed away and I flew to New York to be there for him at the wake.  Of course, I forgot to pack something and went to the local mall to buy it.  I called my dad and mentioned to him that I was sorry we lost so many years.  He said to me “I never reached out either.”  Boom.  For me, that was an apology.  That made the hurt of so many years ago seem irrelevant.

My dad died three years ago.  I got to spend eighteen wonderful months with him.  His legacy lives on through me, and  I’m proud to carry his name.

Kick It with Donna episode - 68

Ever wonder why you do things that make sense at the time and in hindsight make no sense at all?  I’m sharing an experience today that helped me learn that I am not always right.

Show Notes:  Through the process of healing myself from the inside out, I am discovering parts of me that are not so pretty.  It isn’t easy to look at myself and find truth in the ugly.  However, I’m finding that it gets easier with more practice.  How do I learn and grow unless I do the dirty work first?

Three years ago, I took my son and his girlfriend to New York City for a week.  We stayed in a boutique hotel not far from Times Square.  Seeing the 9/11 Memorial Museum was very sobering.  Most of the time we took Uber, but we did get a Metrocard to take the subway.  How do you visit NYC and not get on the subway?   I bought show tickets for Humans.  My son was late (he’s always late) which made us all late to the show by 5 minutes.  They would not let us in.  This ruined the night.  I came home from this trip annoyed and frustrated and shared that frustration with my daughter via text.  I planned on talking to my son about it in my own time when the spirit moved me.

After we returned, I took my son to Mattress Firm to buy him a new mattress.  My daughter texted me and asked what I was doing. I told her.  She couldn’t understand why I would buy my son something when I was pissed off at him.  This made me angry because I felt it was none of her business.  Truth be told, she called me out on my own shit and I was angry at her for it.

This is what happens when I respond out of anger.  Instead of looking inward, I lashed out at her.  Why?  I wasn’t willing or able to come down on my son for his shit.  This is a long story for a podcast on another day.

This anger at my daughter lasted for quite a while.  It was a few months ago that I apologized to her for taking out my inability to deal with my son on her.  She was very forgiving and appreciated that I came clean on this.

I hope my honesty and forthcoming resonates with you in some way.  We all have our shit that we throw on others because we don’t want to dig deep into ourselves and address a problem,  The truth hurts.  The only one who can fix you is YOU.

Kick It with Donna episode 67 - 
Bridging The gap Between Holistic and Conventional Medicine - Does Osteoporosis have you in a bone crushing bind?  Therapy without meds is an alternative.

The podcast falls under the Bridging the Gap between Conventional and Holistic medicine.  I have two guests today.  Deb McFarland is the founder of OsteoStrong in Carrollton.  Geraldyne Van Arnam has osteoporosis and is interested in hearing about Deb’s method of therapy without meds.  Geraldyne was put on a med that made her ill.  Even after discussing this with her healthcare provider, she was met with resistance.  They want me on a med that makes me sick.  How do I find a win-win here?

OsteoStrong focuses on skeletal strength conditioning.  High levels of force are needed to trigger bone growth.  Deb starts your therapy with a Dexa Scan (a bone density test).  She then has you perform an isometric move on a few machines to determine a baseline.  This process takes ten minutes once a week.

Your first session is complimentary.  It includes a wellness evaluation and a review of mechanical problems.  Four different machines are used to evaluate you:  upper body, lower body, core and spine.

Geralyne and I both made an appointment to see Deb.  You can google osteostrong.me to find more information.  There was a lot of information covered in this podcast.  Please give it a listen.  Why not be proactive about your health?

Kick It with Donna episode 66

Bridging The gap Between Holistic and Conventional Medicine -Reiki with Dr. J

Dr. J’s Tranquility Reiki Spa.  What is Reiki?  It can help you alleviate stress and anxiety, lowers blood pressure, eases pain and helps promote overall  mind-body- spirit.

Show Notes:  My guest today is Jonathan Hochberg.  He is a Reiki Master for sixteen years.

What is Reiki?

Reiki (pronounced Ray-Kee) is a complementary therapy for all kinds of illnesses (both physical and emotional) including:  cancer, pain, chronic illnesses, anxiety, depression and is especially helpful in expediting recovery for all pre-and post-operations for medical procedures.  Essentially, the Reiki energy goes to help the innate wisdom of the body to heal.  The energy heals at a cellular level and atomic level.  It changes things by breaking up stagnant energy, adding positive energy and creating space for healing to take place.

Where did Reiki come from?

Dr.  Usui “discovered" Reiki energy and put a name to it in Japan in 1904.  Discovered is in parenthesis because it is believed the healing practice has been around as long as 5,000 years.  We can thank Dr. Usui for creating a specific modality and allowing people to pass down the ability to provide Reiki treatments from one-on-one training from one Reiki Master to another.

How is a Reiki treatment performed?

 It is totally non-invasive.  Reiki therapy involves the laying of hands on the fully-clothed patient by the Reiki practitioner.  His/her hands travel through 12 to 15 different positions, staying in each place for about 5 minutes for a total of about an hour per treatment.

Are medical professionals on board with Reiki therapy?

With continuous positive reactions from many patients, prestigious cancer centers like the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York, the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Texas and the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota offer Reiki classes and treatments for patients on a regular basis as well as in-service classes for their nurses and staff.

How do I book a treatment?

You can go to Dr. J’s website Tranquilityspadfw.com or call him at 214-505-5761.

I tried Reiki for the first time three weeks ago.  Never have I been put into such a meditative state.  I describe my experience in this podcast.  I’m now a regular.  I see and feel results.

Kick It with Donna episode 65

Varsity Blues

How do we make sense of the college admissions scandal?  Were you a helicopter parent or were you a parent who tried to remove obstacles from your kids path?

Show Notes:  I have two guests with me today.  Chrissy Conner and her daughter Madison Auge.  Madison is 22 years old and is graduating from Oklahoma University this May.  Her degree is in Human Relations.  Chrissy owns and operates her own recruiting company, Conner International.  She recruits talent and has a gift of placing people in the right place.  She runs her company with her heart and soul.

Madison’s perspective is very interesting.  She talks about how nervous she gets taking an exam and the peer pressure involved when the class takes the exam together.  Many times, there is a time limit to complete the exam.  One of her pet peeves is that everyone applying to a college is rated solely on their ACT or SAT score.  She took neither.  Her professors wrote recommendations and her entrance essay allowed her admission.  How many students out there have that same anxiety over taking an exam?

Madison also felt that the reason parents chose that path to pay their kids way into the top echelon of schools might have more to do with getting into a college they couldn’t afford to get into.  What if sports is the issue here? Did the dad want to row and wasn’t good enough to do so?  Did the mom want to be a soccer star and wasn’t good enough?  Those are strong motivations.

Chrissy and I felt that a sense of entitlement was involved.  People that are wealthy think that their money can buy them anything.  They think that rules are for everyone else.  Think about how that makes other students feel that got into college on their own merit.  Lawsuits will be flying (a few already are).  What about the schools themselves?  They have some questions to answer.

Chrissy and Madison are very close.  Madison will be working for her mom after she graduates.  Rarely, do I see two family members that just work great together.  Chrissy is very proud of her daughter for getting into the college of her choice and is excited to work with her.

Since this podcast falls under the series of Self Discovery, I found myself guilty of trying to remove obstacles from my kids' paths.  I had to struggle, why should they?  Because they need to.  How can they ever value their achievements if they didn’t hit the potholes needed to achieve success?  This discovery is important to me.  It is helping me understand how I operate.  I can’t make changes if I’m not aware of an issue in the first place.  Hindsight is a beautiful thing isn’t it?

Kick It with Donna episode 64

Bridging The gap Between Conventional and Holistic Medicine part 2 - Brain Health

I have two guests today.  Dr. Joe Ford with Vitality Sports Medicine and Beeben Russell with Russell Distribution.

Show Notes:  Dr. Joe Ford attended Baylor where he majored in Kinesiology and minored in Physical Education.  He attended chiropractic school thereafter and then attended Parker College and earned his doctorate.  After graduating Parker, he became Director of Rehab at Physical Medicine and Rehab Associates.  A short time after, he became a clinic director at Kirkham Healthcare where he worked with evaluating and overseeing the treatment of athletes of various sports. He then opened his own facility, Vitality Sports Medicine.

Dr. Ford provides chiropractic care for the Dallas Metroplex Striders Running Club, Baylor University Track & Field, The NFL New England Patriots, Atlanta Falcons, Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland Browns, Dallas Cowboys, Denver Broncos and Olympians.

Dr. Ford talks about what a concussion really is.  It was known as a bruise to the brain, but it is much more than that.  Concussions are all the rage right now because it is so prevalent in football.  There are many points Dr. Ford covers in this podcast that are worth hearing.

He has come out with a patented brain supplement called CereGold.  This supplement is taken over a course of two weeks.  It encompasses  a three step process  that enables the body to promote healing.

Beeben Russell is with Russell Distribution.  His focus is on holistic modalities using LED therapy.  Brain Light Pro is a flexible pad containing LEDs.  They are embedded below the surface of the pad to maximize comfort.  It is designed to be applied to the head and neck for 20 minutes per day.  LEDs of the wavelength used in the Brain Light Pro has been shown to increase blood flow to the brain.

What can it do for you?  Clinical treatment results have shown that patients experience significant reduction in their symptoms such as headache, sleep disturbance, cognitive impairment, mood swings, irritability, impulsivity, anxiety and balance problems.

Dr. Ford and Mr. Russell both stress that CereGold and Brain Light Pro are not a cure, but could be helpful to an individual suffering from a concussion or a head injury.

There is a lot of information in this podcast that may be over your head.  It is sometimes over mine, but worth knowing about.  My purpose of doing a Part II of Bridging the Gap between Conventional and Holistic Medicine is to provide you with information that you may not be aware of.

Kick It With Donna episode #63 - My 10 Year Anniversary

Anniversaries celebrate a special occasion.  February 2019 marks my ten year anniversary of surviving an ATV accident.  This accident left me with a TBI and a few injuries that dramatically changed my life.

Show notes:  On February 7, 2009, A friend and I went on an ATV ride at Rough Creek Lodge in Glen Rose, TX.  I remember the first five minutes and nothing else.  The manager placed an unmarked chain over a cattle guard.  I did not see it.  The ATV flipped up and threw me off and then landed promptly on the left side of my head.  I was airlifted to Harris Methodist Hospital in Fort Worth.  I was in the ICU for 49 days.  I then spent 3 weeks at Baylor Rehab and six months at Centre for Neuro Skills.  By September 2009, I was finally able to go home.

As a result of my injuries, I was no longer able to work.  Hello long term disability!  Working a full time job was not in my future.  I needed to reinvent myself.  I wrote a book called Headstrong/Surviving a Traumatic Brain Injury without Losing my Mind.  A few years later, I wrote another book called Heartstrong/Overcome Obstacles and Live Life to the Fullest.

Over the course of these ten years, I’ve had so many wonderful things happen.   I reconnected with my dad and brother after a 27 year lapse of communication.  My daughter and I are forging a strong bond after many years of butting heads.  I’ve gone down the tough love road with my son (one of the reasons why my daughter and I were head butting) after many years of enabling.

I spend a significant amount of  time analyzing my MO to better understand how my reaction response inhibits my growth.  If I am in denial, this is a cop out.  If I act in anger, nothing positive comes from that.

Kick It With Donna episode 62 - Physical Restoration of Breast Cancer Survivors

When a woman gets a breast cancer diagnosis, her life comes to a complete stop.  What happens if she has to have a mastectomy?  Is there a way to restore her self confidence and physical appearance?  Paramedical tattooing exists.

Show notes:  Lauree Prieto is my guest today.  She is a paramedical tattooer.  The procedure used to be called Cosmetic tattooing.

A little history on Lauree.  Her mom died of breast cancer when she was 59 years old.  Lauree was one of three daughters and a son and was the one who noticed something odd on her mom’s breast.  It was off to the side and not visible to her mom.  The cancer diagnosis was not far behind.  Her mom went through twelve years on her journey before she died.  The lump was removed in that breast and she went into remission.  It came back and presented in the lymph nodes and spread from there.  This happened in the early nineties.  Her mom wasn’t very open to discussing the process of journey.  Lauree felt that she didn’t want to be a burden and was ashamed that she had cancer.

If we fast forward to today, the 5 year survival rate of breast cancer is 99%.  The information and discussion is more open and women are more likely to share their experience with their children.  Cancer isn’t anything to be ashamed about.  Unfortunately, women who have mastectomies are left without breasts.  Just imagine for a second that your breasts were removed.  How would that affect your self worth?

Lauree always wanted to work with cancer patients and had this desire to become a paramedical tattooer.  Years went by and the desire hit her again.  This time, she saw her dream through and has completed the training and is certified.  I believe her mom’s battle with cancer was a subconscious, motivating force.

What is paramedical tattooing?  An instrument is used to tattoo the areola onto a breast cancer survivor’s breasts.   An eye for detail and a steady hand is an absolute.  A compassionate tattooer is so critical to the success of maintaining a patient’s trust and confidence.  The team effort involved in helping a woman achieve restorative breasts is a process.  Measurements are taken from the clavicle to where the areola should be and size and color are pertinent. Skin is taken from just under the fold of the buttocks and placed on the breast area.  Keep in mind that skin from any part of the body is not expandable like skin on natural breasts.  Fat from some part of the woman’s body is inserted into the breast.  The the skill of a paramedical tattooer creates the areola.

Lauree watches the transformation of the woman’s body language and facial expressions over the restoration process which can take seven months to a year.    This is quite a physical and emotional journey for a woman.  I have nothing but respect and admiration for those who go down the path of helping others feel whole.

Episode 61: Love is an Inside Job

Show notes:  My guest today is Tanya Thomas.  She is an entrepreneur coach and has been coaching for thirty years.  In addition to being my guest, Tanya is also my neighbor and friend.  She is a beacon of shining light.  Positivity is her last name:)

Think about what you are conditioned to believe as a young girl.  A white knight in shining armor will sweep you up into his arms and you will live happily ever after.  This conditioning is an external focus on something that is a fallacy.  Instead of focusing on the external, focus on the internal by loving yourself first.  How do you do that?

Me, myself and I.  Yes, you read that correctly.  If you take care of you, there are no complaints.  You’re not late for dinner, you can wear what you want, eat and drink what you want without any judgment!  When was the last time you did something just for you?  You’re always more concerned about making someone else happy that you forget about yourself!

I have been asked by others if eating dinner alone in a restaurant or seeing a movie by myself is weird.  It is not!  It’s actually very freeing.  My sweetheart was out of town one weekend for a rug show.  Did I sit in a corner and cry?  No.  I went out to dinner and saw a movie that made me laugh my butt off.  Have you had a pamper yourself day?  Go get a mani and pedi.  Get a facial or a massage.  Take care of you.

Kick It With Donna episode 60 - From The Heart #1

I know Jimmy from BIND (Brain Injury Network of Dallas).  He is a member there and also volunteers his time answering the phones and giving prospective members a tour of the facility.

Jimmy was hit by a car in Boston in 1992 and suffered a TBI.  He spent two months in a coma and another two months in rehab.  His healing journey continues to this day.  Instead of giving up or having a daily pity party, he volunteers his time at Medical City Hospital in Plano.  He talks to families who have a loved one that suffered a head injury.  Sometimes they are responsive, but sometimes not.  This time he spends with these people is a driving force for him.

Jimmy was a really good runner.  It was hard for him to accept that running was not really an option for him anymore.  Three years after his injury, he went for a run and was frustrated that he could no longer meet his prior running time.  To add insult to injury, he was hit by a car again that smashed up his leg.  Bicycling became the substitute.  Jimmy was also very good at fencing.  He had to accept that this skill was also affected by his injury.  However, he was able to compete in fencing in the paraplegic arena.   His life is not worse, just different.

I have a lot of respect for Jimmy. He doesn’t give up.  That is his message to all who are listening.  Don’t give up!